I knew he was gone-

The look on everyone's face when I asked how he was doing.

But I couldn't believe it-

Not yet.

Because there he was- standing in front of me, smiling the same warm smile as always.

I hurtled myself towards him and his warm embrace, and fell right through him.

I then knew that he was no longer.

But I could still feel the warmth of his arms, the taste of his kiss.

Why?

Without looking back, I ran towards the sea, blinded by tears.

Rage also- those that took him would pay dearly.

Over time.

I came to a short cliff- it invited me off the edge, into the stormy grey sea.

I turned around, seeing nobody.

Not him, not my friends, nobody.

Had they too given up? Found their own cliffs?

My eyes closed- my hands gripped the hem of my skirt.

I ran, and jumped-

The air whooshed through me like a ghost; invaded my lungs.

"Goodbye…" he whispered to me, and let go.

And I woke up, screaming as I plunged through the freezing ocean, the spray clinging to my face, my hair.

Life without him is impossible.

But life remembering him…

It shall be livable.

At least…

I hope.