141A/N: This chapter is FULL of memories and thoughts. Just shows how Harvey and Alicia feel about each other :D Enjoy and please review!
Chapter 19:
Alicia's Point of View:
Things have been awkward beyond belief between Harvey and me the past few days. I had purposely been avoiding him ever since what had happened in front of the school.
I just couldn't forgive myself for what I had done to him…
"It's always your fault…"
Harvey had said that after the supply teacher gave us detention in English class a few months back.
Now I finally understood what he had meant…
…and he was right. It was my fault. If I hadn't been so selfish and shallow, I wouldn't have hurt him so much.
And the thing was…it hurt me so much to know that I was hurting him, of all people. Maybe if it was someone else, I wouldn't feel so bad.
…So what's so special about Harvey..?
Frustrated, I stabbed my Chemistry textbook violently with my pen. Noticing what I had done, I furrowed an eyebrow in confusion. Why was it that it would always be my Chemistry that I take my anger out on?
Sighing loudly, I put my pen down and pushed my textbook away. There was no way I could study with all of these thoughts swimming around in my head. I had to take a break…
Getting up from my desk, I bounded down the stairs and plopped down on the living room couch. I flipped through all the channels on the television aimlessly, not really paying attention to what was going on.
I really should be studying right now. My chemistry exam was tomorrow, and I still had two more units I had to study and make notes for. But how could I focus after all that happened with Harvey?
I decided to give up on watching television and turned it off.
"Alicia…"
I stretched across the couch and covered my eyes with my hands.
"Don't...think it's your fault…"
I couldn't handle all this drama…
"Because…you…weren't who I expected…"
What did he mean by that anyways?
And more importantly, why did I keep hearing his voice?! I was almost convinced I was going crazy….
"It…wasn't your fault."
Could I really believe that? Did Harvey really think that?
"Please…don't blame yourself…"
I uncovered my eyes and sat up, bringing my knees closer to me and hugging them tightly.
Why was Harvey going so out of his way to tell me it wasn't my fault? If I was him, I would've never forgiven myself…if that made any sense.
I remembered that day at lunch, where he was trying to cheer my up. I cracked a small smile at that. The whole thing was really weird. A few months earlier, Harvey wouldn't have come even a meter near me, let alone try to make me feel better.
Our relationship had changed so much from then.
…But why?
Harvey's Point of View:
I stared at my math notes blankly, not understanding a thing that I was looking over. I just couldn't focus.
My mind would keep going back to what happened with Alicia.
Why did everything have to be so complicated? I banged my fist against the table. I didn't need this; especially during exam time.
I wished I could just go back to when I first met Alicia - the time when I just ignored her. I wouldn't have to deal with any of this if I hadn't gotten to know her.
What had happened? I was supposed to hate her.
Okay, so I'm kidding myself. It wasn't really her fault…but why did I care so much that she was feeling hurt? Didn't I hate her just a few months ago?
…So what happened?
At that moment, my mind flooded with memories I had shared with her.
"Booger brain."
"What the…I haven't been called that since the first grade."
"Well you're being called that now, buddy."
"Move."
"No, you move."
"You know, this hallway's very wide. If you just moved to the side, we'd be able to continue on our merry way."
"Then why don't you move, Ms. State-the-Obvious?"
"Well at least I have half a brain to think of the obvious."
"What makes you think you think?"
"…Asshole…"
"What are you? Big foot?"
"Jerk! How rude!"
"Just saying. You're a girl and my foot fits in your shoe…"
"Well…maybe you just have small feet!"
"DO NOT!"
"DO TOO!"
"DO NOT!"
"DO TOO!"
"DO NOT!"
"Oh yeah? I bet you shop in the women's section! Maybe I should get you high heels next time!"
"You know what I love? Fudge brownies."
"Those are awesome! Especially fudge brownies with ice cream."
"Chocolate ice cream."
"Have you ever tried those things filled with cheese and potatoes?"
"Uhh, pirogues?"
"Not sure. Whatever, they taste so damn good."
"I have a sudden craving for wings…"
I smiled fondly at all the memories. When did all of this happen? Things had changed so much from before, and I was actually glad and thankful for getting to know her. Life would've never been the same without Alicia.
Wait a minute…
I bit my lip and raised both eyebrows in confusion.
…When did I start thinking like this about Alicia…?
Alicia's Point of View:
I really wanted things to go back to normal between Harvey and me. I missed all the times-even all those crazy, awkward ones- that Harvey and I would share.
I had tried going back to studying my Chemistry, considering I had like a 66 percent after the last test. I had to do well on this exam if I wanted to pass.
I took a quick look at my digital clock to see that it was 6:30 PM. I had to hurry, so I could have time to practice playing the song Harvey had taught me for my music test tomorrow as well. My mom had finally bought me a keyboard after winter break and I had been practicing here and there randomly.
I suddenly remembered all the time Harvey had spent with me, trying to teach me how to play the piano. Even after I had yelled at him, he had still agreed to teach me after.
"Listen, I really wanted to apologize for earlier."
"It's okay."
"Really…?"
"Yeah. I sort of lost my patience."
"Me too…"
"Okay, well then let's get started."
"You're really going to teach me again?"
"Why? You don't want me to?"
"NO! I mean, yes! I mean…blah. Yes, I want you to."
"Right. Then take a seat."
I thought of the memory warmheartedly. Even though he hadn't liked me back then, he still didn't give up trying to teach me.
I sighed, looking back down at my Chemistry textbook. This was hopeless. I never asked for all this drama in my life.
I got up from my chair and walked over to the bathroom. I observed myself in the mirror and saw how gloomy the expression on my face was. I splashed some cold water on my face and grabbed a towel to dry it. Glancing at the toilet beside the sink, I remembered the day at school where Harvey had got his foot stuck in the toilet.
"Dude, that looks painful."
"NO SHIT!"
"So…now what?"
"GET MY FOOT OUT!"
"Okay! Sorry!"
I smiled a bit at that. Throwing the towel against the rack, I walked out of the bathroom and decided that maybe I should get back to work.
Sitting back down, I tried to get back to my Chemistry. At that moment, I caught something pink at the corner of my eye. I turned around to see a pair of pink shoes tossed aside in the corner of my room. I sighed. Those were the shoes I had lent Harvey, which he had taken reluctantly after I had made fun of his feet.
"I don't need your shoes! I'll just walk barefoot!"
"You can't walk barefoot! It's snowing! You'll get frost bite!"
"I don't care!"
"I hope your feet fall off!"
I had watched him walk away, only for him to come running back.
"Looks like you need my shoes after all."
"Fine! Whatever! But I'm not saying thank you!"
I turned away, exasperated. So many things were making me think of Harvey. He had returned the same sneakers during the ski trip. So many random things had happened during that ski trip.
I thought of the first night of the ski trip where someone had spiked the punch.
"I am queen of…"
"Napkins?"
"Yes! That! Behold my papery powers!"
"All hail the queen!"
"I dub you, knight of silverware!"
"I am honored!"
I blushed in embarrassment. I still could not believe we did all of that. It was after that, that things had become awkward between both of us. We had called each other names non-stop after that.
"Loser."
"Jerk."
"Retard."
"Asshole."
"Dumbass."
"PEDO!"
"What the F?! No I'm not!"
"Yes you are!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
I laughed at the memory. We were acting like little kids. Because of all our yelling, we had triggered an avalanche and ended up in the hospital. That still didn't stop us from arguing.
"Ugh. You're impossible!"
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"…You're stupid."
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"You're a girl."
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"Shut up!"
"Ikyabwai!"
"…What the F does that mean?"
"It stands for, 'I know you are, but what am I. I didn't feel like saying the actual thing."
"Loser."
I tilted my head to the side in thought. In reality, even though so many crazy things had happened on that trip, it was those very things that had brought Harvey and I closer.
I smiled to myself. Even though whatever was going on between us now was complicated, we had shared too many happy memories to let our friendship disappear. This would have to blow over.
I really didn't want to lose whatever friendship I had with Harvey. He had just become too important to me.
He was different from other guys. I mean, sure he was cold towards me before; but I had gotten to know the real him later on. These past few days, I had become so gloomy and depressed, just not being able to talk to him.
There had to be a way to fix this. I had a feeling that after exams, we would be able to patch things up and continue being friends.
Convinced with these thoughts, I continued to try and study for my exams. After all of this, I would talk to Harvey again, and hopefully…he would forgive me.
"So how do you think you did on the exam?" Steve asked me while we both walked out of the classroom. We had just finished writing out Chemistry exam.
"I actually thought I probably did pretty good," I grinned proudly. "I guess studying does pay off. How about you?"
Steve nodded enthusiastically. "The thing was easy as pie." He stated, causing me to smile wider. Steve and I were the only two people I knew who agreed that pie was better than cake. "More than half of it was multiple choice anyways."
"I know! I was so relieved."
"Well, you seem a lot more happier today anyways."
We had made it to the cafeteria, and sat down. Steve had to write his Physics exam next, while I had my Music playing test. We still had about twenty minutes until we had to go to our next exam.
"You nervous for your music playing test?" Steve looked at me curiously.
"A bit." I admitted. "I know I wasn't practicing a lot, but I did these past few days; so I think I'm ready. Did you study for your Physics?"
"Yup. We get to use a cheat sheet, so I didn't have to too much." He replied.
After a few more minutes of calmly chatting, buying snacks from the cafeteria, and wishing each other good luck, Steve and I parted ways. It was time for both of our exams.
I felt butterflies in my stomach as I made my way to the Music room. I entered the room meekly to see Ms. Blufold already waiting there for me.
"Hey, Alice!" She greeted me, deliberately messing up my name. It was an inside joke just between the two of us.
"Hi Ms. Blueberry!" I replied, smiling widely. She laughed.
"You ready for your test?"
"Sure am." I began to relax as she led me to the piano and placed the sheet music to 'River Flows in You' in front of me.
"Begin when you're ready."
I nodded as I placed my fingers on the piano keys. Taking a deep breath, I began playing the song.
"Alicia!" Janice squealed as she hugged me in the hallway.
It was Friday, the last day of exams. I had written my Communications Technology exam this morning with no problem. There were a few questions which I didn't really know the answer too, but overall, I thought I probably did okay.
"I'm here for my Music playing test." Janice explained as she finally let go of me. "You had yours yesterday, right?"
"Yup!"
"So…" Janice was bursting with impatience. "How did you do?! Tell me!"
"Well, Ms. Blufold said she was impressed, and that I should thank my teacher for teaching me so well." I told her happily.
"What was your final mark?"
"I got a 90%"
"Oh my god! That's great!" Janice exclaimed. "What exam do you have next?"
"English." I looked at the time on my cell phone. "And it's about to start right now."
"Then I won't keep you any longer." Janice moved aside. "Good luck Alicia! You better not fail!"
"And what if I do?" I stuck my tongue out at her.
"Then I'll kick your ass!"
I laughed as I walked away from her. Entering my English class, I noticed all the desks were lined up in separate columns and rows, like all the other exam rooms. I saw Harvey was already sitting there already. I froze in the doorway.
It was the first time I was actually seeing him after what had happened at the front of the school. At that moment, Harvey looked up and directly at me. I bit my lip anxiously. Thankfully, Harvey gave a big smile and waved.
Thank goodness…
I returned the gesture, walking into the classroom and taking a seat in the next column of desks, a few desks behind him. Mr. Peterson entered the room with a pile of pink papers-most likely our exam- and threw it down on his desk.
"Hello my lovelies!" He chirruped. "Alas, our wonderful semester together has come to an end." He dabbed his eyes with a pink handkerchief. "Don't worry my darlings! I'll surely be your teacher again!"
"Uh, Sir!" A random boy in the back of the class said. "Can we have our exam now?"
Mr. Peterson clutched his heart dramatically. "Oh, how you children break my heart! Your exam!"
He walked over to his desk and picked the papers up. He then passed them out to each student. As soon as Mr. Peterson had placed the exam on my desk, I quickly looked at the cover page which was covered with glitter. I smirked. Peterson most likely had written the exam.
I began answering the questions. Most of them were related to English, though there were some really random ones that related only to Mr. Peterson himself.
After speeding through the first two pages of the exam, I suddenly got to a question where I had to draw a diagram. As I was moving my pen towards the paper, a random memory at Harvey's house hit me without warning.
"That's Mark."
"Oh…I…uh…"
"He was my older brother."
"Uh, wow. I never knew you had an older brother…"
"Not many people do."
"Oh. Is…he not home often?"
"No."
"Oh."
I dropped my pen, letting it clatter as it hit the ground. I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach.
The sudden noise I had created caused Harvey to glance back at me, a look of concern in his eyes. I reached down and picked up my pen, sitting up and staring back at him.
"Are you alright?" He mouthed towards me.
I gave a small nod. "I'm sorry." I mouthed back at him. I heard him sigh.
"Don't be!"
I looked back down at my exam, my hand shaking. I had lost my focus. I heard Harvey clear his throat. Looking up, I saw that he was still looking at me.
"Everything's going to be okay." He mouthed.
I felt a weird feeling in my stomach, a mix of relief, confusion, and happiness. Harvey smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I did the same and we both returned to writing out exams.
Harvey was right. We would fix things.
Everything would be okay.
"Hey, Alicia." Harvey had approached me at the end of the exam. We were the last people left in the empty hallway.
"Hi." I gave a small smile. "How do you think you did on the exam?"
Harvey shrugged. "I think I did pretty well. Lots of the questions were really random, but I guess that's expected of Peterson."
"Yeah…" I was a bit distracted, after what I had remembered earlier. I had to remember that even though Harvey seemed okay, I still shouldn't assume that he had forgiven me. I mean, after what I did to his brother.
"Alicia?"
"Huh?" I snapped out of my daze. Harvey grimaced.
"I called your name like five times, but you seemed out of it."
"Oh, sorry." I looked at the floor awkwardly. "What were you saying?"
"Just asking what you thought of the exam."
"It was okay." I averted his gaze, shifting from one foot to another anxiously. This caused Harvey to sigh loudly.
"You're not still thinking about earlier, are you?"
"Huh?"
Harvey sighed again, this time more frustrated than earlier. "About earlier. Are you still thinking about it?"
I didn't answer, continuing to avoid looking him in the eyes. To my surprise, Harvey grasped my arm tightly and dragged me to a more secluded spot, pushing me against the wall and putting both arms on either side of me. I was totally trapped.
I looked at him in shock. By now, my stomach was full of butterflies, my heart racing. What was he doing? I looked at his face, which wore a serious expression. His eyes were intense, as he finally began speaking.
"Alicia. I have to tell you something."
He had gotten my full attention. "Ye-yes?" I squeaked meekly.
"I…I'm not good at saying things like this, but I knew I had to tell you sooner or later."
…What was he talking about? Harvey continued, looking more and more anxious by the second.
"I tried to keep this to myself for so long, but…I have to tell you. Even if it changes our relationship forever, I have to tell you!"
My heart skipped a beat. Was this…what I thought it was? Did…Harvey like me?
To my surprise, I was hoping that he did. I wanted Harvey to like me. And why? Because I liked him. A lot. Maybe like wasn't even the word for it. Maybe it was more than that…
My heart rate quickened. Did he feel the same way?
"Harvey…" I finally breathed out.
"No, you have to listen." Harvey said. "This is important. And it's important that you finally know."
"What is it, Harvey?"
"Alicia…" Harvey gazed deeply into my eyes. "I'm gay."
A/N: ahahahahaaaa LOL. Kayy. I hope you had as much fun reading that as we did planning/writing it =) We lost motivation for this chapter but it all worked out ;) I know some of you guys might be a little peeved off with this chapter (the end, specifically . ) But you know, we really love twisted endings ;P
But pleaseeee read on and REVIEWWWW. YEA =)
P.S. If you guys abandon this story here, then we're gonna be sad =( And also, you're gonna be all curious and stuff cause you're gonna wanna find out whether or not Harvey's actually gay =)
OH OH OH OH OH! You know how we're going to make a sequel for slavery? We put up a poll on our profile page, and so pleaseee check off your top two choices for the sequel =) Go check it out .