I used to wait until the day was over
to accentuate my tears.
To release the thoughts that swarmed my mind-
"I'm fine," I said, "I'm fine."
I used to be a pity monster,
graven with all thoughts of grief
but when there was no hand to feed me-
I died, inside, I did.
I used to main and dot and grind,
until the squiggles turned to white
and as the clock began to strike
I believed, myself, I tried.
I used to be a coward
with battle wounds and scars
"I used to fight the urge," I said
"I stopped," I cried, "I lived."
I used to be a sullen creature
to exist was just a plan
I'd create a life to feel all right
"I'm alive," I said, "I am."
But when the new year rang the bell
blasting in with horns
I tried to stop until I said,
"I can succeed, I can."