91The Monster in Me
Written by: Effay
Date: Sunday 4th January, 2009
Summary: There are two things in the world Sebastian truly cares about: art and his best friend. It takes one more thing for him to open his eyes and finally realize that you're only half the monster you think you are.
Chapter One
It's summer. Fuck, it's hot.
I raise a long, white stick to my mouth, wrap my lips around it, inhale the narcotic substances and revel in the bittersweet taste that makes my head light and releases serenity into my veins. I can already feel my problems beginning to melt away like an ice cube would if you put it outside in the sun. And like the ice cube, once I melt away there's really nothing left of me. Just emptiness and a puddle of what I used to be.
I blow out smoke and chuckle lightly to myself even though there's nothing funny about my situation...nothing funny about anything at all, period. I hold my cancer stick up to my eyes, watch the end of it burning slowly and turning into ash. However, the sound of screeching tires on asphalt makes me look up from my brief scrutinizing and I shield my eyes as I watch a familiar, beat up old car squeal into the parking lot of the diner I work at. Joe's or something like that I think it's called. As I watch it come to a screech, I smirk and take a long drag from my cigarette before pushing myself off of the dirty brick wall, casually sauntering over to the new arrival. I can see a familiar mop of light, auburn hair in the driver's seat which makes my lips twitch, the corners not managing to make it all the way up into a smile.
Everytime I see that heap of junk, it seems to get worse and worse. The car looks like it's just dragged through mud whilst in one of those monster truck things where they get a big ass truck into this arena and basically drive it around, smashing smaller and more vulnerable cars into mini car cans while people cheer. But the damn thing is Daisuke's pride and joy, the fucking sentimental freak he is.
I wait patiently as Daisuke, or Dai as I like to call him and which he says he hates but I know he secretly loves it, stops his rifling through his weird indie CDs and leans over the driving console to open my door from the inside. Another thing I hate about this stupid car: I can't even open my own damn door. No, the stupid handle's jammed or something. I keep telling Dai to fix it but he always ignores me. I always warn him that one day when I'm running away from a psycho axe-murderer who likes to chop people's fingers and eat them, I'll see him and try to get into the car but it will be an epic fail because by the time it's opened from the inside the murderer would have gotten to me and I would have no fingers left anymore to pleasure him. I jest about the last part; I've never done anything of the sort like that with Dai. It would be incestuous.
I slide into the worn out fabric of the passenger seat and slam the door shut before taking another drag on my poison and then exhaling it slowly, letting the remnants cloud around me and settle on my clothes which I'll bitch about later because of the smell which is damn hard to get rid of.
"Sebastian, if you want to smoke then do it out the window because it takes forever to get the stink out of Yuki, got it?" Dai snaps at me irritably and I smirk at him before sticking it in my mouth, inhaling and then blowing it out in his face. His hands immediately flap up around his pretty face as his nose scrunches cutely at the invasive smell. But before he can chastise me again, I've rolled down the window and chucked it out onto the road. And yes, Dai named his car Yuki because he's a fucking weirdo like that.
"It's a car, Dai. Not a person." I deadpan, pulling down the visor and checking my hair. Crap, it's not right. I frown as I begin to pull and run my hands through it. My hair is one of the only things that I actually like, or at the very least tolerate on some days with dyed black locks and streaks of blonde running through it, the strands spiked up in random directions. Dai pokes fun at me for it though and tells me that I'm such a trend follower, feeding the stereotypes. I tell him to go fuck his mom which is like...my trademark thing to say.
"Whatever Seb, it's my car anyway so you can go fuck your mom." He says dryly as if reading my thoughts, brushing off my remark as he puts the car into drive and presses the gas. That's so copyright infringement. I could sue him for that.
"I would but my mom's busy fucking other guys." I say sweetly and bat my eyelashes at him as he glances at me with horror and disgust written all over his Asian features.
"You're sick, you know that?"
"You said it, not me." I smirk smugly at him before yawning and putting my feet up on the dashboard. God, it is really hard work punching in meal orders and saying 'would you like fries with that?' every weekday for three hours. Seriously, it really is. I always get the urge to tell them to either fuck off because I'm busy playing Tetris on my phone when I'm just staring at the clock willing the time to go faster or ask them if they're really sure they want the combo meal and a double chocolate milkshake because I'm not experienced in the area of dealing with heart attacks. I'm such a bitch.
I yawn again feeling decidedly bored as I roll my head towards Dai who's totally in his concentration zone right now. His hands are resolutely at ten and two, elegant fingers curled around the wheel. He's always so anal about driving, snapping at me all the time that he needs total concentration for the utmost safety of himself and his passengers which is kind of ironic considering he's driving a living car crash which may or may not go up in flames at any moment. Kind of makes me rethink my faith in the coppers seeing as they still haven't caught this sad excuse for a car.
Dai's actually really pretty for a boy you know. He has soft auburn hair which is enviable with its natural ability to stay straight and points into a 'v' at the nape of his neck. He also has nice, warm chocolate almond-shaped eyes framed by thick, long lashes and high cheekbones that girls would die to have. Plus, he has a tiny dark mole, a birthmark, just a little above the right corner of his upper lip – kind of like a Monroe piercing except it isn't.
"Sebastian, can you not do that, please?" his voice is pleading and I waggle my eyebrows, my ever-present smirk plastered across my lips. He hates it whenever people watch him driving, it makes him nervous and a nervous Dai is a funny Dai. "Sebastian, unless you want me to crash this car, you better stop right now!" he attempts to growl but it comes out as a whine. Nevertheless, I stop anyway because I don't want him to drive into an old lady's house. He probably would because he gets spastically nervous like that. Not that there is one around anyway and I doubt any old sane lady would choose to live in this neighbourhood...come to think of it, the insane ones wouldn't either.
In a matter of minutes, Dai's pulling into a parking space just outside my seedy apartment building and begins pestering me about whether or not he's too close to the curb and whether or not he's going to bang the car behind us as he reverses. I tell him he's so far away from the curb, he's practically on the opposite side of the road and that it doesn't matter if he does, one more scratch on either car wouldn't make a universal difference. Dai just throws me a scathing look. Eventually, we manage to get out once he's satisfied with how he's parked and we climb the stairs to my apartment because the elevator isn't working...again. It's a bitch whenever I'm bringing home some guy for a quick fuck because by the time we reach the top, I'm too exhausted to even garner up the energy to kiss properly. So I'm unfit. Sue me bitches.
I unlock the door after grunting a little and whacking it a couple of times, resulting in the already peeling paint to chip more. When I finally stumble in, I head to my bedroom to change out of my uniform and leave Dai to shake his head at the mess that is my apartment. I swear; he is such a girl. If we fucked, he'd totally be the submissive one. Not that we would though because that would just be downright weird. Incestuous, was the word I think I used.
I shrug out of my work uniform and toss it onto my unmade bed before pulling on a pair of old, faded jeans that smell faintly of sweet smoke. I don't bother putting a shirt on because it's too hot and I don't have any air conditioning. I duck into my attached bathroom and run my hands through my hair to maximise its sexiness, smirking maliciously at my reflection. My light green eyes fall to the cracked sink and my mouth pulls into a frown. Fractured is a good word to explain a lot of things. I should probably use it a lot more.
When I wander back outside, Dai is picking up old pizza boxes and Chinese takeout, stuffing them into a black bin bag which he seems to have magically conjured up. He's such a neat freak. Probably comes from living in a strict Christian home with an anal-retentive Japanese family.
"Dai, leave it." I flop down onto the couch and prop my feet up on the wobbly coffee table, my hands finding the remote and pressing the power button. Nothing happens and then I remember that my television's broken. I groan in frustration. I don't even have the dough to fix it. Not with having to keep up with rent which my bastard of a landlord insists on raising every few months or so when it suits him. I'm only just making the deadlines right now.
"Seb, I can't have you living like this! It's disgusting!" Dai is stubborn and his pretty eyes narrow in on me as he props his hands on his hips. I just roll my eyes and lean over to grab him by the waist which causes him to squeak as he falls into my lap. I brush his long fringe out of his eyes, smoothing it over his forehead.
"I've lived like this for the past seven years of my life, remember?"
technically, i really shouldn't be starting anything else at all, not with how much work i'm already getting and WILL be getting too quite soon. but i really, desperately want to know what you guys think. i'm kind of excited about it but it won't be updated as much i don't think. i have an idea of how this story will turn out so hopefully i will eventually get around to completing it. please review and let me know whether it's worth it to continue or if i should just stop wasting my time. thanks so much! :D
xo, effay.