I loved you at first sight
First glimpse, first smile, first anything at all
You didn't have to make me fall
I did it on my own.
Fell Hard. Fell Fast. Fell Deep.
I always was an overachiever.
You knew I was there
An annoying buzz around your head
Saying things you didn't want said.
You were kind and polite
A not-too-close friend.
Friendship wasn't what I wanted.
I watched you date others.
Listened to your tales of heartbreak and crash-and-burn.
Wondering when it would be my turn.
I'd never stand you up.
Or cry over a missed birthday.
I'd let you get away with anything.
For five years I waited.
Turned down dates and even went to prom alone.
Holding onto hope it'd be you on the phone.
Until I had to go away.
College and real life were calling.
Everyone was calling. Except for you.
I stayed away longer than I should.
Got updates on you from my mom and dad.
They should have made me happy but only left me sad.
I stayed away because though I loved you still.
I couldn't handle the pain.
I didn't know that love wasn't supposed to hurt that much.
You seem suprised to see me on the street.
I'm back now for good, it seems.
Tasted big city life and spread my wings.
Did you think I'd stay away forever?
Run away from you and unrequited love?
I admit that was the original plan.
I didn't pine away for you forever.
Only a few sad and lonely years
Until I realized I'd wasted enough tears.
I've dated and danced and wined and dined.
Though nothing too serious.
I'm still learning not to flinch away from love.
You're looking at me differently.
Have I grown up and met with your approval?
Did all it take was a decade of removal?
Good thing I didn't know that back then.
Else I might have been a teen runaway.
I would have done anything for you.
And now you say to me
Everything I've dreamed you would
But they don't move my heart like they should.
Your kiss doesn't tilt the world off it's axis.
Doesn't even curl my toes.
You say the words I've longed to hear
But all I feel is regret for wasted years.