"It all happened so long ago."
Grandfather tells us. He says
he isn't sure he can
remember.
But we beg him to tell us, and he
always agrees. He really
does like to tell the
story.
"It was a long, long time ago. The year was
1963." Grandfather begins, and we all lean forward,
eager to hear the familiar words, in Grandfather's old, soft voice.
"I was thirteen years old. There was a new girl at school, a girl with
red hair and green eyes. She was friends with me and all of
my friends, and she loved me.
But I didn't love her then." Grandfathers
eyes are cloudy as he looks into the past, seeing
something we cannot see.
"I turned fourteen. The school year ended. That summer I went
to Switzerland.
The girl and I were friends,
we were by then very close. I went to
her birthday party at
a bowling alley.
And I was struck by
how beautiful she suddenly seemed." He sighs. Go
on, we urge. Go on!
"I loved her from that day on.
I was miserable, because I was sure she didn't care for
me anymore. That's what I thought." Grandfather is
almost crying; his memories
are vivid.
"But she said she still loved me!"
he tells us, and we smile for the fourteen-year-old
boy who is our Grandfather.
"We were so happy." Grandfather falls
silent.
What happened? We ask him. We always do.
He always stops here. We ask for more,
but he never tells us.
Today is different. Grandfather
looks at us, but he doesn't see us, and a tear rolls down his wrinkled face.
"It was a dream." he says,
and his brown eyes are
screaming.
"I never told you." He isn't
speaking to us anymore.
"I'm so sorry I never told you." he
whispers.
"Your curls and your
bright eyes." We look at each
other and at Grandfather. He is crying and shaking.
"I'm so sorry I never told
you." Grandfather says,
and closes his eyes.
/
At Grandfathers funeral we told
about his stories.
We told about how he loved to
share his
memories with us.
We saw in the back corner of the room, an old woman
sat alone and cried.
After the funeral she came
up to us.
Did you know our Grandfather? We
asked.
"Yes." she said. "I knew him
when he was a teenager."
She had faded
green eyes, and they were full
of tears.
"I knew him very well." she
told us. We
looked at each other in wonder as a tear rolled down her wrinkled cheek.
We asked, did you have
red hair? "Yes."
she said. "I had red hair."
He talked about you, we told her,
and she cried. She cried when we said
that the day he died
he spoke to her.
"What did he say?" she asked. He said
it was a dream, we said. He was sorry,
we told her. Sorry he never
told you.
"I loved him." she said. "And all my life I waited, waited and
hoped." We looked around, and saw
Grandmother wasn't nearby.
He loved you to, we told her quietly, and her eyes grew wide. He
loved you so much. And
he was so, so sorry he never told you.