I've had a few boys since you
inside me and messy. Spit on my skin,
smearing—
I hardly remember in the morning. Since you,
I've stripped down to absolutely nothing
and still, I hardly felt, even as they sweated,
sought after release. I got nothing.
You make me want faith but my hands can't hold what isn't here.
My prayers fall on empty ears
and all these boys are so
angry. I've waited so long and you just
aren't here. So I spread my legs
or bend over, or get on my bruised knees
and whisper words to high heaven.