I've had a few boys since you

inside me and messy. Spit on my skin,

smearing—

I hardly remember in the morning. Since you,

I've stripped down to absolutely nothing

and still, I hardly felt, even as they sweated,

sought after release. I got nothing.

You make me want faith but my hands can't hold what isn't here.

My prayers fall on empty ears

and all these boys are so

angry. I've waited so long and you just

aren't here. So I spread my legs

or bend over, or get on my bruised knees

and whisper words to high heaven.