255A/N: So welcome to the epilogue made possible by a lot of particularly strong reviews. I certainly want to continue this story, but that will only happen through a sequel; in which it would probably be set a bit in the future and have its own story line. For now, I give you the epilogue. I apologize in advance for its length, but I've actually been working on it for a long time to get it just right.
The "sequel" to this story will be uploaded on my FictionPress account as a NEW story. So if you want to be the first to be notified when it is uploaded I recommend putting me on your Author Alerts list (or Favourite Author's list if you really love me.)
Epilogue
Liz was angry. Definitely very angry, and it didn't take a genius to notice that. She made it perfectly clear when Jack had rung her doorbell the day after Evan stole him away that she didn't want to talk to him. She was hurt in a way that she didn't understand and when she slammed the door in his face she didn't feel any better. In fact, it felt like the hurt had grown in a considerable size.
Normally she was very happy. And she had a lot to be happy about; it was the middle of spring break, and her birthday was approaching on the weekend. A lot of people were invited in her circle and it was guaranteed to be a fun and memorable evening.
But she wasn't happy.
The part she looked forward to most of her sweet sixteen was Jack laying on her bed with her and handing her a present. He'd always gotten her the best gifts, and they were the best because they were always from his heart.
Jack was hers. She was the only person he was himself with; she was the only person lucky and worthy enough to be in his presence. She was the only one that understood him in and out, and she loved him.
Not in any sort of romantic way, but in the kind of way where you know you'd be nothing without that person. The kind of love that is deep, but never mentioned.
And somehow, someway, Evan had stolen him. Had ruined what Liz had thought was special. Had done something to make Jack upset and then had walked right by her and stole him once more.
He was no longer 'hers'. Evan had claimed a bit of him too.
"She's angry with me. I can't stand it," Jack moaned into his pillow. Liz had shut the door in his face. Her words echoed around in his head and ate away at his soul. He could never just be entirely and completely happy. There was always a price to pay for his happiness and just as he had gained Evan in a confusing and exciting whirlwind, he had lost Liz. Again.
It was one of those, "This town ain't big enough for the both of us" moments.
"Whatever. She's not that special anyway," Evan said nonchalantly.
Jack lifted his head and gave him an incredulous look. "Not that special? She's very special. She's my best friend. I need her!" As he said these words through a knot in his throat, he saw Evan's blue eyes harden in the tiniest of ways.
"You have me," Evan said.
While that was nice, Jack desperately wished for them both.
"Are you jealous of her?" Jack asked carefully, removing himself from his pillow and sitting up. He winced a little at the sharp pain that came from his tailbone and travelled up his spine. It was a day later, and he was still hurting badly.
Evan smirked - presumably at the obvious flash of pain - and then shrugged. "No point denying it," he replied.
In the twenty four hours that had passed since he and Evan had sex, Jack had only left Evan's side once; to visit Liz. Even then Evan had been across the street in his car keeping a careful eye on him.
There had been a lot of emotions that had passed through Jack, and a lot of worried thoughts and concerns. But Evan didn't seem as torn as Jack was. Actually, Evan seemed positively glowing, insisting that everything was wonderful and there was nothing to think about; he had it under control.
"I told you I don't like her in that way," Jack reminded, laying on his back now and staring at his ceiling. There was only so much of Evan's strange new face he could take until he began to worry that the whole thing wasn't real.
He was frequented by short bursts of anxiety with this new, good-looking Evan. The Evan he had technically lost his virginity to, the Evan who now seemed to own him. It was the kind of anxiety that was brief, but harsh. He constantly worried that Evan would change his mind and scamper off, or throw him down some stairs. Even though he'd convinced himself it wouldn't happen and would move on from the anxiety, there was only so much of it Jack could take.
"Doesn't mean she doesn't like you in that way," Evan commented smoothly. Jack frowned.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Evan's tone changed to one that was a little harsher, as if it was suddenly important he be serious and get his point across. "She likes you. I can tell."
Here Jack laughed, because he really had no idea what else he was supposed to do with the conversation. "You have nothing to be jealous about. Liz likes older guys, besides, she's a pushy person. If she liked me that way, I'd know it."
Evan wasn't convinced. He crawled onto Jack and held himself above the younger brother. "I like older girls and I'm a pushy person, yet I still like you."
Jack's breath hitched in his throat at the closeness. He still wasn't used to Evan being so intimate and every time they kissed or touched in the slightest of ways, his heart was sent into wild palpitations.
But he made a good point.
"She doesn't like me," Jack muttered with the true intent to sound confident and firm. He'd failed at that.
"So just forget about her for now."
Yet her birthday was fast approaching and it was impossible for Jack to push Liz to the back of his mind. It seemed all he wanted was to run up to her and curl in her lap like a child, begging for understanding and forgiveness. He wanted to tell her everything from beginning to end but he felt his relationship was a terrible secret she'd never understand.
And rightly so.
Jack battled with thoughts of Liz in his honeymoon-like week with Evan. Never had Jack experienced this sort of love, and it was new and exciting. Every kiss, every touch, every time Evan would just stare at him and proclaim how happy he was; it was a feeling of euphoria and acceptance Jack had never really experienced on that level before. In one day Jack had suddenly understood why love was so all-consuming.
Yet there were still so many questions, so many lingering voices in his subconscious screaming that it was all wrong. It was hard to decide through Jack's insecurities and anxiety, if it was right.
He didn't understand why Evan had seemed to triple in attractiveness and so, in an attempt to find out if this was a popular occurrence, he typed molest into a search engine. Jack quickly exited the screen in a moment of hysteria.
He didn't want to think of it that way. He knew he might have been molested that one night Evan had drunkenly stumbled through his room, and he didn't care how crazy he was for still pursuing whatever it was. For once he was happy in a different kind of way, and he didn't want to see words like "abuse" or "victim". If it was all an elaborate attack, Jack was still going to stay happy in denial until it all folded over on him.
He flinched at the thought of procrastinating on such a topic, but he was too consumed by what was going on. To change the subject, he opened up his browser to search for good gift ideas for Liz.
"Why are you looking at women's clothes?" Evan asked, appearing seemingly out of nowhere behind him.
Jack's heart sky-rocketed into his throat and he was unable to formulate a correct response. Not only was Evan's presence entirely distracting, but it made Jack excited and nervous all at once.
"When I said you were cute I didn't mean you had to cross-dress," he continued, to which Jack blushed furiously.
"I'm not looking at them so I can wear them for you!" he choked with embarrassment. Even the idea had him flustered. There was no way he was going to be dressing in outfits for the older brother, no matter how perverted he was. Still, Evan's presence was giving him goose bumps and Jack closed the browser, mentally storing the need to buy Liz a present on a shelf in his mind. "I was trying to find something nice for Liz. It's her birthday this weekend."
Evan's eyes hardened in the same way they had been hardening all week at any mention of Liz and Jack quickly tried to change the subject.
"What are we going to do about Mom?" Jack asked quietly. The question had been on the edge of all his thoughts for the last couple of days. Their mother, taking the opportunity of a Spring Break, had booked twice as many shifts and was currently in Japan, so the two of them had had plenty of time to themselves.
There was a part of Jack that was absolutely terrified that when she'd come back, everything would end. Just as he was terrified every time he went to sleep, that it'd all be a dream. Just as he was terrified whenever he looked into Evan's face and saw that new person there looking at him.
Evan looked thoughtful. "What do you mean?"
Jack sighed, spinning in the computer chair and facing the older brother. "We can't let her know."
"Obviously," Evan agreed as his eyebrows pulled together and one arched a little. There was a moment of silence as Jack continued to look eagerly for some type of plan. Anything. Finally Evan continued. "No one can know, Jack. Not Liz, not your therapist. Nobody."
The hardness of these words hit Jack in a different way. He'd already sentenced himself to secrecy about the subject, but somehow hearing the words from Evan's mouth brought a whole new weight down onto himself. "Yea, I know," he mumbled.
And then Jack was hit with another harsh reality of the situation. What would happen in the future? Jack was too busy thinking in the present, being terrified Evan would leave him at any moment, that he hadn't even thought about ten years in the future. There was no possible way Evan would still want him after all that time. Where would he be?
The thoughts brought with it a terribly agonizing panic attack.
One day it would end.
And Jack resolved that he'd cherish it as much as he could until then.
"I need to find her a present. Her birthday is tomorrow!" Jack panicked. His fingers were twisted violently around themselves and Evan was holding him close on the couch that morning. Although he wasn't used to the embraces or touches, Jack was quickly becoming dependent on them.
"I don't give a shit," Evan replied with a monotone.
Jack was mortified at his response and he pulled himself away from Evan's body in an attempt to get started on finding her a present. Right. That. Second.
He looked around the room as if an idea would present itself, but his eyes landed back onto Evan's in a matter of seconds and he found the aching need to be pressed right back into him to be unbearable. Evan was like a drug. Everything about him pulled Jack in; even the hairs on Jack's body gravitated in the direction of wherever Evan was in any room.
There was a smirk planted on his lips that sent Jack into another paralysing attack. Evan knew he wouldn't be able to leave him like this!
"Please," Jack begged. "I need to go get her something."
There was a long and calculated silence to where Evan looked almost desperate that Jack stay with him. Until finally, "Then go."
Jack bit his lip and then looked down at his hands. He could go. But it would be the first time he'd left Evan that whole week. Suddenly the all-consuming fear came back.
If he left, what he'd come back to might not be the same.
"Can you drive me?" Jack asked, shoving his fears back down his throat and facing the older brother. If Evan was there to drive him, Jack would feel a little better about everything. It was all going to be okay.
Evan looked at him critically and then nodded. "If it'll stop you from whining about it. Fuck."
But instantly Jack regretted asking. He hadn't meant to whine, or be annoying at all. And with the regret came something surprising. An unparalleled anger.
It was Evan who had caused everything to happen! It was Evan that had made Liz be mad at him, it was Evan who had fucked him so hard that he still couldn't sit down properly. And Evan had the nerve to act like he was whining about something?
"Never mind. I don't need you," Jack said angrily, standing up suddenly and walking from the living room to put on his shoes. "You're the one who caused all of this!"
And before Evan could say anything back to him, Jack had slammed the front door.
He was fuming and livid.
At first being under Evan's control was wonderful. Jack hadn't wanted to ruin anything, terrified that if he were to say something, Evan would have threatened him or ended what they had.
But now, in the heat of his rage and claiming a new independence, Jack couldn't believe what exactly the situation had been.
He had been fucked, hard, by his older brother. And while it had been unbelievably nice, and while there was no point denying a new found cataclysmic attraction to Evan, it was still easy to be upset by Evan's behaviour. It was as if his life was doing a big, "What did you expect? He made you eat mud."
Halfway down the block Jack rounded the corner and spotted a bus heading towards the mall. After he had raced towards it and had waved it down, he jumped on and took a seat near the back.
He was consumed by this anger and it felt good. Really good. He didn't know where it had come from, and he didn't even know it had been bottled like it had been. But then Jack went over the emotions from the last few weeks and he decided he was bound to have an outburst like that.
From what he remembered, he had gone from being a shut-down emotional wreck, to experiencing several different emotions at once. All in the span of a week. No human could endure it, he said to himself; partly in an attempt to make himself feel better.
And about five minutes into the bus ride his anger had ebbed away and regret and need followed closely. He had screamed at Evan!
He had said he didn't need him.
Well that was just crazy. He did need him! Very much!
Jack was about to stand up from his seat, about to follow through on a vision of him getting off the bus and running back to Evan all tears and apologies, when there was a sharp tap at his shoulder.
He jumped. Literally jumped out of his seat and turned around as his heart protested violently against his rib cage.
Smiling back at him was Kelsey, the friend of Liz's from the movies. "I saw you from the back," she explained with a perfect smile. "Can I sit here with you?"
Jack nodded, and although he didn't know Kelsey that well he was extremely thankful for her presence. He was too busy with his visions about Evan and his anxiety about Liz's present that he couldn't spare any part of himself to care about her sitting beside him.
"How are you?" she asked, and Jack suddenly felt very sorry for her. Very sorry that she had picked to sit next to the one person on the bus that could be deemed the craziest of them all.
He was overcome by an urge, fuelled by how good it had felt to shout at Evan, to tell her exactly how he felt. He felt violated, loved, hurt, afraid, confused, regretful, sad, anxious, happy, nervous, and needy.
"Fine."
"You going to the mall?" Kelsey asked with another smile. It was blatantly obvious she was aware of his condition, at least to Jack it was. Why else would she be smiling encouragingly at him?
"Yes," he said. A part of him was surprised at the one-word responses. There had been a night he had talked a lot more to this girl.
But she didn't seem to be upset by his short answers. "Me too! With a bunch of my friends, and I didn't really want to come. But then I saw you and wondered if maybe I could tag along."
She pointed to the back of the bus and Jack turned his head slowly in the direction. It was like a scene from a movie, when someone opens the door and in their peripheral vision they see a dead body. But their eyes take so long to trail down in horror to the actual body that it builds the suspense.
That was what Jack felt like. He was horrified at the group of girls sitting at the back of the bus that were eyeing the two of them with clear interest.
They were watching him.
Just when his body didn't think it could take any more emotions at that moment, he felt his heart going into a wild panic. His throat closed and he turned to stare directly in front of him.
"If that's okay of course. I don't want to invite myself along. I have to buy Liz a present and I have no idea what to get her..."
Jack snapped to attention at the mention of Liz. While his heart raced it was no longer being fuelled by the embarrassment of the situation and all his thoughts were on his present to Liz. He could do this. He could go by himself and get her something, because she was very important to him.
"I've got to get her something too," Jack managed to say in response.
Kelsey perked at his words. "We could look together! You can help me and I can help you!"
Jack liked the word help. He figured he needed a lot of it.
"Sure," he agreed. He felt a little better at the fact that at least he wasn't alone.
When they got off the bus, Jack was beginning to get nervous at the prospect of shopping with any girl other than Liz. For Liz.
He cringed as Kelsey launched into a story about how she had been camping all Spring Break in the mountains and had put off buying the present until then, only to find that she had no idea what to get her. "Apart from the obvious," she added as they wound through the busy parking lot of the mall and up towards the entrance. "I could get her some clothes, but you know Liz. She wouldn't like something that wasn't all edgy and retro."
Jack nodded. He did know this. "I don't really have a clue what to get her either," he admitted as they stepped through the automatic doors. Kelsey turned at him in wonder.
"But you always get her the best stuff!" she said as if this were common knowledge.
Suddenly Jack felt a big weight of pressure building in his stomach. Kelsey must have seen this in his face because she quickly apologized. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make it worse!"
Managing a smile, Jack took his first right into a music store. He didn't know what he expected to find, maybe a good CD that Liz had been dying to have for ages, or information on upcoming concerts of bands she'd like. But there was nothing there.
Kelsey continued to be optimistic, pulling CD's at random and checking them over. Sometimes, when she wasn't talking about school, or her friends, she would ask him if he'd think Liz would like them.
"She already has that one," Jack replied, looking up from the section he was browsing in to see the CD that Kelsey had presented for him.
"Damn, she's hard to shop for. What do you get the girl that has everything?" Kelsey asked, just loud enough to be heard by him.
Jack was struggling with that question as well.
An hour later their search hadn't made any progress. They had been distracted by a shop that had sold pillows with sand in it, and a booth that let Kelsey straighten her hair. After managing to get away from the pushy hair-straightener salesman, they browsed a few clothing shops and found nothing.
Kelsey, laden with bags from her own purchases, collapsed on a bench and threw her head back. "Look at us! We're pathetic," she exclaimed with a little bit of manic hilarity.
Jack took a seat next to her, glad to be off his feet for a few minutes. It was getting incredibly hot in the mall and he wondered whether it was just him, or if they had jacked up the temperature in the last hour.
"We need to save our energy and think about things before we go into the shops," Kelsey said, wiping at her forehead. Apparently it wasn't just Jack. "It's hot in here."
As she took off her sweater, Jack eyed her neck where something shiny had caught his attention. "What's that?" Jack asked suddenly, lifting himself into a position where he could get a better look at it.
Kelsey was confused at first and then she pulled at the chain. "This necklace?" she asked.
"Yea," Jack said. "What's it say?"
It seemed to be half a heart, but that couldn't be. It didn't make sense.
"It's half of my best friend's necklace," she said as if that were obvious. When Jack stared at her cluelessly she continued to explain. "Best friend necklaces? My friend April gave me this one eight years ago and she moved away. I still wear it though. They are usually two parts of a heart and you give one part to your best friend and the other part goes to you and-"
But the two of them looked up at each other.
"It's perfect for Liz," Jack said suddenly.
Kelsey nodded vigorously. "But you're a guy!" she said suddenly, slumping back into her bench.
Jack frowned in confusion. "What's wrong with a guy wearing one?"
She turned at him and smiled sympathetically. "It's a very girlish thing to do," she said. "You might be made fun of."
Jack shrugged. "I'd wear it under my shirts if I had to. I'm her best friend. She needs one." Especially given the current events, Jack thought. Sure, Evan had become important to him, but Liz was his best friend. Forever, no matter what. No matter if he was ruined or changed. They'd grow old together. They'd already made the pact. It was too perfect to let the idea slip by. It wasn't fair that Liz would never be able to have her own half of a necklace because her best friend was a guy.
Kelsey sat back up happily. "You are so sweet," she said, and then jumped to her feet. "Come on! I know the best shop for that stuff."
She grabbed him by the hand and led him towards the opposite end of the mall. Jack was too busy congratulating himself at the idea that he didn't care about her touch. He liked Kelsey. She was nothing but nice, and if she hadn't been so insistent to shop for Liz with him, he would've never had the idea.
Once in the small jewellery shop, Kelsey led him to a section of wall that was dedicated to the whole "Best Friends" thing. There were anklets, bracelets, earrings, rings, necklaces all split into two or three that said things like, "Best Friends Forever" or "Friends Always".
"I can't believe you've never heard of them," Kelsey said excitedly, pulling off a few and shoving them into his hand to look at.
"Almost all of them are hearts," Jack noted as he scanned the section over a few times.
"Of course. Girls like hearts," Kelsey said absently.
Suddenly she gasped and pulled another set of necklaces down. The chain was thick and made of sterling silver and instead of a heart it was two parts of a yin yang. One black, one white. No words.
Jack got excited. "This is perfect," he said, shoving the other necklaces onto a random hook and staring intently at the symbol. She was his other half in a lot of ways, and already he was imagining the speech he'd give to her with the necklace.
As soon as it was paid for, Jack felt guilty.
"We haven't found anything you can get her yet," Jack said. He'd been extremely thankful for her help and for picking out the necklace; he didn't know how he'd repay her. It was at that moment he decided he would help Kelsey with 100% of his entire being.
"You're right," Kelsey said with a thoughtful frown.
"There are a million things she likes," Jack said, listing off all the ideas he'd had but shrugged off because they weren't right, for him anyway. "Glasses, purple eye shadow, water massages, concerts," he started and was surprised by how outgoing he was at that moment.
Kelsey looked at him in awe. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" she asked with a teasing glance. "Let's go get something."
Kelsey had grabbed the perfect pair of designer glasses for Liz in a color that Jack assured she didn't already have. "It's nowhere near as good as your gift," she said with a sigh as they walked out of the mall. "But it's still really awesome."
"You'll definitely come in second," Jack said.
She laughed.
And then their excited conversation came to an abrupt halt. Jack had been so caught up in his excitement that he had forgotten about Evan waiting at home for him. The shock was a little much to handle and Kelsey gave him a concerned look.
They made their way to the bus stop in silence and Jack took a seat on the empty bench, trying to remain composed. His heart was beating wildly again. Evan was sure to be angry with him. Sure to be distant.
"I had fun, Jack," Kelsey said almost out of nowhere. Jack looked up at her in a daze.
"Hm? Oh. Yes I had fun too," Jack said honestly. He had been surprised that he could have let go so much with someone he didn't know, but Kelsey had always been nice to him. Deep down he trusted she wasn't going to laugh at him, considering she'd already seen him get punched out and in a panic attack and was still sticking around.
"We should do it again," she suggested lightly.
Jack considered her words, and was surprised at himself that he wouldn't actually mind it. "Definitely," he said. "Thanks."
He was thanking her for a lot of things. First for being so kind to him, second for saving him from his panic attack, third for not judging him, fourth for helping him with the necklace, and fifth for offering friendship.
It was the first time in a long time that Jack had made a friend.
Before Jack got off the bus, Kelsey wrote her number on his arm and told him to text her whenever he wanted. He had left his cell phone at home, but he gave her his number in return, nervously, and then hopped off the bus.
Each step that took him away from Kelsey and towards his house was harder than the last. His legs felt like dead weights by the time he had arrived at the front door. With an uneasy glance towards the living room window, he pushed the door open.
The house was eerily silent and it took Jack a few moments before he stepped over the threshold. It was familiar in the sense that he'd been nervous to enter his house so many times in the months before. But this time was entirely different. He wasn't facing an Evan who hated him just for the sake of hating him. He was facing an Evan who was going to hate him for a reason, having shared affection with Jack previously. It was worse, in Jack's opinion.
Way worse.
He took off his shoes and set his bag on the little bench in the hallway and then peered uneasily around the corner. Before he could register there was no sign of Evan in the living room, he felt two hands slipping around his body. He tried to turn abruptly and face Evan, but was forced up against the wall uncomfortably.
Jack's whole body rippled with excitement at his touch, but more importantly, his head began to reel with anxiety and his heart began to pound wildly. What was Evan going to do to him? Punch him in the throat? Knee him in the spine? How angry was he?
Jack was so terrified, he couldn't even muster up a weak voice to ask Evan exactly what was going on. So he remained pressed against the wall as he waited for his courage and voice to come back to him. He had been so nervous and he was on edge; for a reason of course.
But then something changed in the atmosphere. Jack could feel it as a sharp bolt hitting him from his spine to his crotch. He wondered briefly what had caused the spark, but then began to feel the deep breathing in his ear from Evan. The hot breathe blowing into his surprisingly sensitive ear sent waves upon waves of shivers and goose bumps all the way down Jack's body. His breathing, which had become a little laboured in anxiety, now hitched in his throat and he could feel the butterflies in his stomach flying around full speed.
"Sorry, can't help it," Evan mumbled into his ear, which sent another few waves of ticklish pleasure to collect in his groin. He tried to stir against the wall and away from Evan's grasp, but Evan just pushed his body right against Jack's and pinned him in place. It was hot and confusing.
"What are you doing?" Jack finally choked, although he knew exactly what Evan was doing. What he had meant to ask was why.
Evan didn't respond anyway; instead, he took the hem of Jack's shirt and lifted it off with a quick and smooth movement. Jack bristled at the change in temperature. He was instantly cold and frigid pressed up against the wall, and it wasn't until Evan pressed his body back against his that he sighed in content.
"I thought you were mad at me," Jack managed, his voice echoing off the wall and sounding twice as panicked and confused as it probably should have. Or maybe that was just how others heard him to begin with.
"I'm saying sorry," Evan muttered against Jack's bare shoulder blades. He could feel the small hairs on his arm prickling in anticipation. Certainly Evan couldn't mean that this was his way of apologizing?
Suddenly Jack was anxious, eager, and of course scared. It had hurt so much last time that there had been moments he had wondered if the sex had even been worth it. To his surprise, though, his body never concentrated too much on the pain, and instead it would recall how wonderful it felt.
Evan pressed him further against the wall and Jack was able to feel the bulge in Evan's pants up against his own aching tailbone. His knees seemed to buckle at the prospect of it all. Jack was glad, for a brief moment, that Evan was pinning him to place and made a mental note to stop his knees from giving out, then he turned his amazement to how much it seemed Evan wanted him.
The older brother's hips moved in the slightest fashion as Jack, facing the other direction and not entirely sure what exactly Evan was doing, closed his eyes into the wall and tried to concentrate. He felt the faintest of grazing along his shoulder bone and then a few soft clamps turned into painful and playful bites.
His stomach folded over - in the best of ways - and the bites caused him to shudder; a fresh wave of goose bumps appearing on his arms to replace the ones that were already gone.
It seemed not being able to see what Evan was doing was only adding to the excitement.
Then suddenly everything went from deliriously slow, to confusingly fast. Jack had slipped into his mind for what seemed like seconds and snapped alert at the sensation of cool air hitting his groin without any clue as to how long Evan's delightfully warm hands had been roaming his body.
He was aware of his slightly altered position; cheek and hands pressed against the wall while his body was bent at a slight angle away from it. He was aware of Evan; as urgent as ever before, whisking his pants down around his ankles.
It was freezing, and somewhere amongst the millions of thoughts Jack was skipping among, he had guessed why. Evan was no longer pressed against his back. How long had that been for? Jack couldn't remember, but the cold air was beginning to sting and he muttered Evan's name in hopes that maybe he wasn't too far away.
And he wasn't. Evan was back up against him in an instant. Naked, Jack realized with another flop of his stomach. Suddenly the temperature wasn't so important.
His stomach fought off the butterflies, while deep breathes tried to get his heart beat under control. Jack realized, with a bit of a start, that his body wasn't responding this way because he was nervous or anxious - it was in anticipation of the pleasure to come. It was an odd sort of thing, when all Jack ever concentrated on was the worst of any situation.
"You ready?" Evan asked. The words tore into Jack's cycle of anticipation. Of course he was ready! He was there, waiting and willing, wasn't he? He was happy and excited for reasons he didn't understand. He should've been terrified that maybe Evan really was still a little bit mad at him. He should have been anxious about the pain that he knew would come.
He should've been a lot of things; but he was ready.
"Uh-huh," Jack managed through a deep breath. But then instantly he wanted to take it back. Looking at the peeling wallpaper in front of him, Jack was suddenly unsure about being fucked in the entrance of his home.
Too late. With a startling amount of pain Evan was already pushing into him, and Jack's head swung downwards, his eyes shut tight. He wanted to tell Evan to wait, but he was afraid if he opened his mouth, he was going to scream.
It hadn't possibly hurt this much before! Jack muffled a cry as Evan pulled out, only to force his way back in again, causing Jack's hands to fold into fists. It was hurting too much – way too much. Like Evan had ripped off a scab and caused Jack to relive the pain ten times over.
There was the sound of spit and Jack's already rigid body froze. "Jack, you need to relax," Evan said sternly and next thing Jack knew two lubed fingers were forcing their way into his backside.
He cried out, hands clenched still clenched into fists to take the uncomfortable pressure like a true champion. There was no way he could relax! Not with his head spinning, and the confusing excitement of Evan's love-making making him hot and panicked.
Was this how he was going to die?
But then, after what seemed like an eternity of this question being repeated, Jack suddenly noticed that the fingers were hardly there at all. Actually, it seemed like they were moving quite smoothly now – still uncomfortable but compared to the pain from before, nice.
His toes were aching from being tippied on for so long, and Jack rested himself on the balls of his feet instead, allowing deep yet shallow breathes to calm and soothe him. Soon, it would feel great, like last time. Right?
Abruptly, Evan's fingers pulled out, and both hands curled on Jack's hips – to obviously keep him steady for what was coming, again. The laboured breathing came back as Jack tried desperately to calm himself down. This was definitely not a time for a panic-attack.
"Damn you are so fucking intoxicating," Evan mumbled, causing Jack to whimper in surprise to the voice pressed right against his ear. A thousand tiny electric sparks ran the length of his body as Evan buried his face into the crook of Jack's shoulder and pressed himself back against his entrance for a second try. "I'm sorry."
For what, Jack didn't know. Or at least, at that moment he didn't have time to think about. Perhaps he was apologizing for what he was going to do, but maybe he was also apologizing for causing Jack to snap earlier. Either way, the words were lost as soon as they were spoken because Jack was being torn in two almost immediately.
He must've screamed. The will to keep his mouth closed any longer was gone as the sensation of a thousand hot butcher knives being pressed into the bottom of his spine came back a thousand times worse. It seemed like the spit and the fingers had done absolutely nothing but lure Jack into a false sense of security, making the ripping pain almost unbearable.
Jack did not register one of Evan's hands leaving his hip, but he did notice when it was being placed roughly over his mouth to stifle whatever sounds he was making. "Ssh," Evan said, face still buried into his shoulder and close to Jack's ears.
That's right, he was supposed to be taking this way better. After all, Evan was trying to be intimate with him, front doorway or not. Yet he still couldn't help meeting each of Evan's thrusts with a cry of pain and it was truly embarrassing how out of control of himself Jack really was.
Because Evan's hand was placed over his mouth, it was getting really hard for Jack to breathe. He had to take deep, steadying breathes through his nose to supply himself with enough oxygen to stay conscious, and soon enough an odd type of rhythm had formed.
Understanding that when Evan pulled out, the pain was bearable enough to breathe, Jack soon came to take advantage of the split second break between thrusts. Jack was not aware that he was panting, and in fact he was so busy concentrating on breathing and blocking out the pain that he hadn't even realized it was beginning to seep away until Evan's hand had removed itself from his mouth.
And instead of being placed back onto his hip, it was sweeping his sensitive body leaving a tingling warm sensation in its trail. God it was just so hot with Evan on his back, and because he was breathing like he'd run a marathon, Jack was sweating even more. The unbearable warmth was dizzying, and his whole body – from his head to his toes – felt like it was on fire.
"Evan," he choked – literally because his throat felt like it was a desert. What he'd said Evan's name for, he didn't really know. Perhaps it was to remind himself who was doing these things to him, because with his face pressed against the wall as it had been for so long, he was completely unable to see the good looking sexy-eyed brother.
Either way, the name caused Evan to give a tiny moan – which wasn't really a moan at all as far as Jack was concerned, but a kind of way to communicate the exertion it was taking his brother to hold back. It was a plea that Jack be quiet or else he really was going to lose it.
And with the moan came a small taste of the lost control because for the second time in his life Jack saw stars when his brother ripped into him that hard. It had been sudden and surprising, causing Jack to give a sharp whimper as the sweet aching pleasure gave him a moment of solace from the near-constant pain he was living through.
If anybody was surprised at his next words, it was Jack. "More, Evan," he said, his voice sounding oddly slutty through his panting breathes he took to regain himself. Where they'd come from was a question Jack didn't even bother asking himself because he didn't regret saying them at all; he had truly meant it. More. He wanted less pain and more of the swirling exciting sensation collecting in his groin causing his whole body to vibrate with the force of pleasure sweeping through it. "Please."
The air cracked as Evan tore himself from Jack's back and all but pushed Jack to the ground – ass up and on his knees with his face now buried into the hardwood floor. Finally, Jack thought. Finally he didn't have to stay standing. His heart was beating fast and hard, but this was something Jack was used to. It wasn't panicked and irregular – but excited and buzzing.
Even though Jack was trembling, Evan wasn't going to stop. Actually, even if Jack said 'No', Evan wasn't going to stop; it just wasn't in the stars. He hadn't been lying when he said Jack was intoxicating. The younger brother was always, always, bringing out the worst in him. And the way he was saying Evan's name, and asking for more... what the hell was he supposed to do?
How could anyone expect Evan to let him go or to be gentle and control himself because clearly, Jack was having attack after attack – and – what sort of monster did this?
But no. He'd waited and waited and waited for so long. It was never enough for Evan, who had fed his monstrous appetite with a revolving door of women. Maybe, it would never be enough. Yea, he was greedy, but with Jack bent slovenly before him, it wasn't like he'd ever be resisted. And just what the hell was that phone number scrawled across his arm? Don't think Evan had forgotten about Jack running away from him a few hours ago either.
So, feeling possessive, vengeful and begging Jack for forgiveness using whatever telekinetic means necessary, Evan obeyed Jack's wish.
More? Yea, Evan could give him more.
Jack moaned insensibly as Evan thrust into him roughly, and was it just Evan or had it sounded almost – happy. Really? Was this really what his otherwise innocently troubled younger brother wanted? Evan's heart skipped a beat in his excitement.
He loved Jack. Really. So much it hurt. Maybe Jack understood that.
Maybe.
Jack showed up to Liz's party wearing a sweater she'd picked out for him months ago, and carrying a small bundle of flowers in his hand. Evan had not been impressed when Jack had come out of the store with them. "Why don't you just fucking buy her an engagement ring if you love her so much."
He gulped nervously when the door flung open and Liz set eyes on him.
A moment of silence passed as she studied Jack and then the flowers in his hand. "What do you want, jerkoff?" she asked finally, folding her arms. Behind her, there was some shouting and then loud music began to play. Sighing, she stepped out of her house, closed the door, and wrapped her sweater around herself. "Those for me?"
"Uh, yea. An apology?"
Jack offered them to her and Liz took them slowly, stopping to smell them for a second before suddenly eyeing him suspiciously. "You think these flowers are going to make me forgive you Jack McKinley?"
He knew it would be difficult. There were times when Jack could be his complete self with Liz, and others when he felt like he couldn't manage a single word. And that moment happened to be one of those times. His mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying hard to formulate something to say.
"Like I have a clue what's going on between you and Evan. But it's fucked up, alright? And I don't want to be dragged into it anymore."
Jack's face burned. Could Liz possibly have any clue what was going on?
"It's just childish. You two are like never ending drama queens. Punching each other, making up, getting into more fights. Get over it. I don't want to hear another word about him! No more whining to me about not wanting to go home. Too bad, okay? He's a loser, you were right."
Jack managed to nod vigorously. "Yea. Yea I know it's messed up. I'm sorry for being a jerk – and – and bringing you into the drama."
Was that what she wanted to hear? Jack would've said anything, and he hoped he had made it right again between them.
Liz continued to stare at him, and then she opened her hand expectantly. "Present," she demanded.
Smiling, Jack dug into his pocket and brought out the small box he had wrapped just a few minutes ago. "Here," he said, placing it into her hands.
The corners of her mouth pulled up into an eager sort of smile as she ripped the gift open. As she pulled out the necklace, she couldn't help but laugh. "Oh wow, you are such a dork."
"You have to wear it," Jack insisted, pulling out his own from around his neck.
"Fine," she said, putting it around her neck. Then she hugged Jack hard and tight around the middle. "You know I love it. Now let's get back to the party."
As she tugged his arm and tried steering him into the house, Jack had to resist the urge to vomit all over her threshold.
A/N: I dedicate this epilogue to all of you who have reviewed, favorited, alerted or even just read the whole story through. Without you I never would have even continued the story that I have grown to love. Rest assured I am working on a sequel to Intrusive and Arrogant. For now, enjoy some of my other yaoi stories I've uploaded to Fiction Press.
And please, for the love of God, review!