CHAPTER ONE

I took my seat on the airplane in the back, my face composed and my eyes dry. Because I was one of the last people on the plane, I only had to wait 10 minutes before the pilot spoke to the passengers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for flying with Delta Airlines. We will be taking off shortly, so we would appreciate it if you all could take your seats and watch our video on the plane's safety guidelines. We hope you enjoy your flight to Cincinnati, Ohio. It will take nearly 3 hours to arrive at the Cincinnati airport, so we will land at 9 am. No turbulence is expected today."

I breathed easier when he said that the ride was going to go smoothly. It's not like I was afraid of flying, but there had been stories about a plane that had crashed with no survivors not long ago. Queasiness settled in around me, so I looked around at the few people who had stayed standing, hurrying to get their bags into the overhead compartments.

A male steward who looked to be my age was going around to help the stragglers, but one man was not in the mood for his help.

With a warm and chipper voice, the steward said to the man, "Sir, would you like some help with your bag? If you like, I could check it and it would arrive safely to your destination."

The man took one look at the young man, and then turned away, grumbling something that I could not hear. The steward remained standing next to the man, thinking about what to say so that he wouldn't upset the man. I decided to intervene, hoping it would help. I stood up and walked down the narrow aisle until I was next to the steward, who hadn't noticed me. The upset man caught sight of me, and I took the chance of speaking to him.

"I think that there are emptier compartments closer back, sir. These are stuffed to their limit by other people's luggage." My voice had startled the steward, and when he heard what I said, he shot me a gracious look.

It took a few seconds, but the man, considering my advice, nodded slowly and handed his bag to the steward, who smiled. In order to put the bag in the back, where I was, the steward had to get around me, so I went back to my seat and let him pass, a warm smile on his face Not the kind of smile that he had to wear on the job, but one that shone in his eyes. Which were nice. A light brown, and his hair was short and blonde, longer in the front, and styled.

A few moments later, the steward came and sat in the empty seat next to me. "Hi. My name's Joel. Thanks for helping me with that guy. I'm new at this job and I didn't know what to do." He smiled once again.

"It's no problem. I'm Claire."

"It's nice to meet you. This is my first commercial flight, and it's nice to find someone my age. Well, how old are you, anyway?"

"Seventeen."

"Eighteen, but close enough." Another smile that reached his eyes. I could tell that he was relaxing for the first time that day. "So where are you going?"

"A town near Cincinnati called West Chester. I have family there."

"Visiting?" he guessed. I nodded. "That's always fun."

I laughed weakly, pushing my ash blonde hair behind my ear. "Fun isn't the right word. Responsible is a better word. Much better."

"What's there that is so responsible?" Joel seemed genuinely curious.

"Well, family and a life, really. New Hampshire is where I have lived my whole life, and something happened recently that is making me move to Ohio."

"Should I ask what happened?" he asked carefully. I shook my head and said,

"Probably not."

"Gotcha. Can I get you anything?" When I questioned him regarding playing cards and a game of war, he happily obliged.

"I will have to occasionally work…" he reminded me while I shuffled the cards. I agreed and began to deal the deck in half. Most of the other stewards were kind, taking most of the work so that he could play with me. Throughout the entire game, we asked questions and told jokes. Joel was a really nice guy, and he helped lighten my newly acquired bitterness towards anyone who was happy while I wasn't. But, he helped me realize that being happy balanced being down.

I couldn't tell him about The Accident. The day that my parents looked away from the road, and the day my brother insisted on sitting on the left side on the car. The day a semi driver felt the need to rely only on his mirror. It happened not even a month ago, yet the paperwork had been completed less then a week ago, and I had decided to go to my aunt and uncles house once the lawyer had stopped calling.

My Aunt Mary Beth and my Uncle Lewis had been more than willing to have me move in with them, seeing as how close we were, even though they were far away distance-wise. They had two children, Katelyn, who was two years older than myself, and Calvin, who was one year younger. My cousins and I had always been friends, and since we were the oldest kids in the family, we always stayed together at family reunions.

When over 2 hours had passed on the plane, Joel had to return to work, which was fine with me. At least now I could stop and think since I had nowhere I had to go. It had seemed like I never sat down since my family was killed in The Accident, and since I was healed from the battering crash. Nothing serious had happened to me, but a few scrapes and bruises had appeared. My mind still hadn't had a chance to stop thinking and start relaxing.

My eyes glazed over, my eyelids felt heavy, and I was listening to a soft song on my iPod. Wish You Well by Thousand Foot Krutch resounded my inner feelings, sad and torn. Not halfway through the song, I drifted asleep.

I started dreaming, and I stood in a totally white space, but it was unfamiliar territory. The white began hurting my eyes and I twisted and turned, trying to find a way out of this too-white hole. I could not find my voice, nor could I hear any sound, not even my own footsteps as I ran towards nowhere I knew.

When I blinked and tried to catch my breath, the white room was gone and in it's place was a room of black, darkness, and every second, I felt as though I would fall through the invisible floor and never stop falling.

I awoke with a start when Joel shook my shoulder and told me that I looked dead. His worried face made me blush, and I apologized as I sat up. He silently sat beside me once again.

"I just came over to tell you that we are going to be landing in about 15, so you might want to be awake, unless you want to be on the next flight to Florida." That made me laugh, and I was grateful that he was making an effort to lift my spirits.

"OK, thanks." I glanced at the headboard in front of me. Seeing that the passengers were still allowed to walk freely, I took the chance to use the lavatory. "If you'll excuse me," I mumbled quietly, still stressed from my disturbing nightmare.

Once I returned to my seat, Joel had disappeared, no doubt to make sure the passengers were strapped into their seats. I buckled in and started cramming my belongings back into my carry-on bag. When Joel passed by, I stopped him and handed him his deck of cards. He smiled and walked back to where his bag probably was. He came back and sat down next to me, just in time, for the plane began descending, not immediately, but slowly and surely.

"I'm sad to see you leave, Claire. I wish I could take you on every flight." Joel whimpered lightly, not looking me in the eye. I smiled and tried to catch his eye.

"Hey, if I am ever flying, I will request you every time. And if you're ever in Ohio," I paused as I wrote my number on his hand, "Or if you ever need someone to talk to, give me a call." The wheels of the plane touched the ground and we glided up to the platform. I waited with Joel until everyone was off the plane, and he was able to leave.

"Joel, I want to thank you for hanging out with me. I'm going through a lot of crap right now, and you really brightened my day. It's been a while since I laughed as much as I have in the past 3 hours." I smiled with all my heart, something I didn't fully trust myself doing.

"You're going to be fine, Claire. And you'll get through whatever is bugging you," he said with a returning grin, clearly sad to see me go, and I could see it in his eyes. I gave him a short, one-armed hug, and then walked toward the east exit, where my new family would be waiting.

The thing about airports is the confusion, and the signs that usually end up being wrong. Which is exactly what happened to me. So, after retracing my steps and backtracking, I found myself asking an indie looking guy at Starbucks for directions, which he kindly gave me, taking longer then necessary, flirting hopelessly. Trying to be polite, I thanked him for his help, and made my way towards the parking lot for the second time.

After being pushed about by many rushing people, I was glad to be outside, even if the air wasn't exactly fresh. It was obvious that this was a city. The sky was a mixture of clouds and the sun. I was shielded from the wind by the surrounding walls, but it was obvious above me where the sky was open.

I searched for the silver Suburban, which I was told would pick me up. I began pacing. Suddenly, the described car pulled up alongside the curb, and in the driver and passenger's seats, I saw my aunt and her daughter, Katelyn, both of them smiling brightly at me, and jumping out of the car. I was first thrown into a hug from Katelyn, then Mary Beth, sending my bags to the ground. We all laughed.

"Oh, Claire! We've missed you so much! You've really grown up!" my aunt squealed, then remembered why I was even staying with them. "And you know how sorry I am about your loss." I was nodding before she had even finished.

"Please, don't worry about me, I'm doing better. How's Uncle Lewis?" He was my father's brother. Distress filled Mary Beth's eyes.

"He's been better before. Right now, he is pretty quiet. I think he is taking it all in." Her answer was so honest that it startled me. I looked at Katelyn, whose eyes seemed somewhere else when they met mine. She smiled weakly, then grabbed my suitcase, and threw it in the trunk, doing the same with my other bag, but I kept my backpack with me. She linked her arm with mine and hopped into the back seat, followed by me.

The momentary silence was broken when they were questioning me left and right, and telling me all the latest news. Apparently, Mary Beth was dropping Katelyn and I off at Calvin's concert. He belonged to an undiscovered band called Golden Revenge. He played the bass and had found an outlet with the music. I always knew that Calvin was on another level than his family, and I was glad that he had uncovered something that he loved. Katelyn went for support and because she was dating the singer. It was an on again/ off again story.

Mary Beth, who ran a cooking class every other day, was expanding her business and was thinking about making DVDs for her customers, with the help of their neighbor, who was a wizard with a video camera. Lewis was the vice president of Ohio's Verizon State Company. In other words, he made a lot of dough.

I was well aware that I probably looked awful from the flight, and if I was going to a concert, I did my best to clean up. Katelyn kindly helped me with my hair as I retrieved some jewelry from my bag. I wore a lime green tank top over a plain black shirt that's sleeves ended just below my elbows. I had on dark jeans and my black converse. The jewelry that I had gathered were a large beaded green bracelet, the same color as my tank, and I plugged in my stud nose ring. Katelyn stared at in enviously, wishing that she were allowed to have one. I winked at her and showed her a fake nose hoop and mouthed the words, "For you." Then I put my finger to my lips. She took it greedily, but luckily stayed silent.

I looked at my reflection in a small mirror from my bag and approved of the high, messy ponytail now placed on my head. My side bangs came down over one eye as usual, and I was pleased that I didn't look like I had just gotten off of a plane. I never wore makeup unless it was for special occasions, so I left my face unpainted, grateful that my eyelashes were so thick and dark around my blue eyes.

Adrenaline began flowing through my body as we began slowing down and pulling up to the curb in front of a warehouse where music could be heard even with the door closed. I was excited to go to a concert and to see Calvin, who was one of my best friends, even though he lived far away.

"By the way, you can just call me Kate. Katelyn works, too, but Kate is a lot easier." Kate said as we piled out of the car. I took note of that, and nodded.

She held the door open for me, and the music pounded against me before I could even look inside. When I did, the lights shone purple and a long hallway. Before closing the door, Kate waved her mom off. Immediately, she tried putting on the fake nose ring, having trouble. I took it from her hand and helped her.

"Thanks," she practically yelled at me, and even then, it was hard to hear her over the blast of music. She handed me a pass and hung her own from her neck, so I did the same. "Stick with me." I nodded, and we entered the main room, where a crowd was jumping and screaming to some music.

Already, I was scanning the stage for Calvin, but only got a glimpse of him before Kate pulled me backstage, pointing out our passes to a security guard, who waved us in.

Now that I knew that it was Calvin's band, I listened to the music and the lyrics more carefully. Their sound was heavy, but the lyrics were deep, and reached into my soul. I wanted to close my eyes and just listen, but Kate kept leading me farther and farther backstage, until we were able to see the stage from the side. I got a better look at Calvin, and recognized his mop of brown hair, the same color as Kate's. Yet she had green eyes, and his were gray. Although she was older than me, Kate stood only two or three inches above my 5' 7".

It seemed like Calvin had grown, and I already knew that he was taller than me. The singer was talking after that song, saying that they were done. Kate started fixing her red t-shirt and short jean skirt that showed off her flawless legs, and smiled at the singer when he started towards them, followed by the rest of the band members.