6Chapter two | Fresh Meat
Monday 6th September
THERE'S A NEW GIRL JOINING THE SCHOOL!
Mrs Jones told us about it in assembly, I poked Lizzy and we both looked at each other and started smiling. And then I had the urge to laugh really, really loud, but I didn't.
Then we had to sing our hymns and say our prayers.
And then Miss Thompson said we'd be doing trust exercises again. I hate her. And Lucy Walters. I had a horrible dream last night where she gave me nits and I had to have the nit-shampoo and then my head fell off.
But I'm more scared about my new pencil.
If she steals it, it will mean war.
Monday 6th September – cloakroom
SHE TRIED TO STEAL MY PENCIL!
I SAW HER!
SHE TRIED TO PUT IT IN HER KNICKERS!
So when we were doing trust exercises and we had to catch each other, I just let her fall to the floor.
She banged her head and has a lump now.
But I don't care. She tried to steal my pencil.
The one with the little pony on it that looks like Tinkerbell (Lizzy's mum's pony, the one I ride – Lizzy rides Benji).
So Miss Thompson asked me to apologise, and I said I wouldn't and then she got all angry, and then Lucy started crying, so now I have to be on cloakroom duty for the rest of the week.
I hope this means I won't have Lucy Walters as my trust exercises partner anymore…
Tuesday 7th September
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
I STILL HAVE LUCY WALTERS AS MY PARTNER!
Wednesday 8th September
I don't have Lucy Walters as my partner anymore.
I tied her shoelaces together and she tripped over and landed on Jenny Greenbank.
I have detention now.
But I don't care.
I AM FREE!
Tuesday 7th September – playtime
Me and Liz are in our secret place, and I told her how Lucy Walters had started crying, and how now she and Jenny Greenbank are partners and we laughed a lot, because Lizzy was with Amy in the opposite corner so she saw the whole thing.
That new girl should be here at lunch time, Miss Thompson said.
Lizzy and I have decided that if she looks cool, we'll let her play with us.
Because we can't risk her turning into another Lucy Walters, or another Jenny Greenbank…
Tuesday 7th September – lunchtime
OH NO!
LUCY WALTERS AND JENNY GREENBANKS ARE BEST FRIENDS NOW!
THAT'S NOT RIGHT!
Tuesday 7th September – Science
The new girl is here! Her name is Sophie, and she's really nice and has red hair and Lizzy and I have adopted her.
Miss Thompson tried to get her to sit with Lucy Walters and Jenny Greenbank, but when Miss turned around to deal with whatever Gregory wanted, me and Lizzy grabbed her out of her chair and sat her next to us.
Then Miss Thompson asked what she was doing next to us, and Sophie said she wanted to sit here – to see the board better!
She's going to fit right in with us.
Tuesday 7th September – in my den
I told daddy all about Sophie and daddy said we should invite her around for tea. I am going to ask her tomorrow.
I told him about Lucy Walters and the trust exercises as well, and he LAUGHED and said he'd "defuse" mum. But I don't know what that means.
I'll ask Lizzy.
Wednesday 8th September – cloakroom
I asked Lizzy what "defuse" meant, and she didn't know – BUT SOPHIE DID!
She's so smart, she definitely belongs with us. She said she travels a lot because her daddy is in the navy! I wish my daddy was in the navy.
My daddy just works in… well, actually, I don't really know where daddy works. Mummy works in the hospital though, that's why she comes home late on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and sometimes she has to go to work on Saturdays as well.
I haven't talked to her since she locked me in my room. So she's still being nice to me.
I think I love daddy more than mummy now.
Wednesday 8th September – playtime
In our secret place, Lizzy and I decided to show Sophie and she loves it. I have to get her telephone number to give to daddy, because he wants to bring her mummy and daddy around to our house as well, for tea.
I'm really excited.
Lizzy will be coming, of course, and daddy said he'd see if he could get Lizzy's mummy and daddy to come round, but that would mean we'd have to play with Lizzy's little sister; Mary, and she's a bit annoying.
Wednesday 8th September – lunchtime
Miss Thompson says she needs to talk to me and Sophie and a few other people from our class before class starts.
I hope she hasn't found out about the vase…
Wednesday 8th September – toilet
Miss Thompson doesn't know about the vase, so I'll have to remember to tell Lizzy that's we're ok.
She assigned us new partners.
And you will NOT believe what has happened here.
Because it's not right.
I have to be partners with ANDREW DONAHUE.
Andrew is a bully. And I hate him. Because he said my story was rubbish. And he was partnered with Christina, but apparently he kept pulling her hair and making her cry, so now Christina is with SOPHIE, and I have to go with ANDREW.
I hate him.
And Miss Thompson.
We have trust exercises tomorrow first thing, and what's worse is the fact that me, Lizzy, and Sophie were in the cloakroom after we'd finished our lunch – because I'm still on stupid cloakroom duty and Miss Thompson says I'll be on cloakroom duty from now until we break up from school for Halloween. But I don't care. I like cloakroom duty, actually. I like it when it's nice and tidy.
But yeah, we were in the cloakroom, and we heard Miss Thompson, Mrs Jones, and Miss Brown all talking, and it's only a small school, because it's a village school, so those are our only three teachers, and they were AGREEING that we should now have trust exercises EVERY MORNING.
FOREVER!
So, tomorrow, I am going to kill Andrew Donahue.
Thursday 9th September –cloakroom
I'm hiding in the cloakroom because I don't want to go to assembly, because then I won't get the chance to hide again before trust exercises.
Because Miss Thompson will be watching me.
I don't want to go to trust exercises.
I hate Andrew Donahue.
Thursday 9th September – playtime
I love Andrew Donahue.
I'm going to ask Lizzy and Sophie when they get here if we can let him play with us.
Even though he's a boy.
Because he hates Lucy Walters and Jenny Greenbank as well!
We're going to meet up by the big tree after lunch to talk about what we could do about them.
Thursday 9th September – Art
We were outside today drawing sheep and I got together with Lizzy and Sophie and we were talking about it, and we've all agreed that we will have to give it some time before we let Andrew play with us, because he's a boy, and Lizzy said she thought Andrew was a bit mean, and Sophie nodded, and I said ok, and now I'm going on a mission at lunch – not just to plan things to do about Lucy Walters, but also to see if he's mean or not.
Thursday 9th September – lunchtime
Just finished my bangers and mash and now I have to go to see Andrew Donahue by the big tree. Lizzy and Sophie both hissed at me to make sure I was 'stealth.'
I like the word 'stealth.'
I'll ask Sophie what it means when I get back from seeing Andrew Donahue.
Thursday 9th September – literacy
Since I finished my story and all my words before everybody else, I'm writing in my diary. I like Andrew Donahue, I think he's really funny, but he did try to pull my hair – so I kicked him in the shins and pushed him into the big tree.
But now we're friends.
He said that he likes me and we're going to be mates, but he said he doesn't know Lizzy or Sophie and that he doesn't know if he could be mates with a girl.
And I said I was a girl, and he said he knew I was a girl, but he said that I was a bit like a boy because I beat him up and wouldn't let him beat me up.
I'm going to tell Lizzy and Sophie when they come to my house tomorrow, I have my detention tonight, and daddy said he'll pick me up and not tell mummy.
This is why I love daddy more than mummy.
Thursday 9th September – detention
Everybody has gone. I only have to write, 'I will not tie other people's laces' a hundred and fifty times, and I've already nearly finished because I did it in columns of, ' I' 'Will will will will will will will' etc. but if I say I'm finished she'll give me MORE lines, so now I'm writing both slowly, and in my diary.
I have another fifteen minutes before daddy comes and gets me.
I'm so bored.
I wish I was at home in my den.
Thursday is my favourite day, like Tuesday. Because it's just me and daddy and we go to the chippy and then on a Tuesday I go to gymnastics, and on a Thursday me and daddy go and play Frisbee on the rugby pitch.
I hate Lucy Walters.
If she wasn't so annoying and snotty then I never would have had to tie her laces together and watch her fall over. And if she hadn't tried to steal my pencil then I could have caught her.
Or atleast not moved the mat.
Friday 9th September – cloakroom
Tonight Lizzy and Sophie are coming to my house for tea, Lizzy's sister can't come, either! She's going for a sleepover!
I'm going to see if Lizzy and Sophie can have a sleepover at mine tonight.
I have to go to assembly soon, but I don't want to. I don't know if I like God anymore.
Why would he let someone so annoying as Lucy Walters exist if he was so nice?
She's a THIEF!
Friday 9th September – assembly
We're supposed to be praying, but I'm writing, me and Andrew have a plan.
It's going to be funny.
Friday 9th September – French
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAARH!
Will write in after French.
J'adore la francais!
Friday 9th September – arithmetic
So, it's become part of our timetable now that we'll have half an hour of trust exercises and group chatter every morning. Which is a bit annoying, because it means we have to cut down on quiet-reading time. But that's ok, because me and Andrew are an unstoppable team.
Today when everyone was in a circle, thinking about their worst moment of their lives, me and Andrew moved Lucy and Jenny's chairs out from behind them.
THEY JUST FELL STRAIGHT ON THE FLOOR!
AND THEN WHEN LUCY WALTERS STOOD UP, ALEX'S NEW PENCIL FELL OUT FROM HER KNICKERS AND ALEX THREW A BOOK AT HER HEAD!
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
How could anybody be so STUPID !?
You do not STEAL from Alex Shimmin. She's scary! And violent!
Friday 9th September – playtime
Me, Sophie, and Lizzy are all in our secret place laughing really, really hard. It was just so funny, nobody paid attention in French OR arithmetic, because it was so funny. We have literacy next, so I hope I can pay more attention then – I love literacy, it's my favourite lesson. And French.
Oh SUGAR!
It looks like Andrew and his friends are heading over here!
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?
Friday 9th September – still playtime
Ok, hiding behind the bins. I think they've given up trying to find us now, but they've been to nearly all of our hiding places now because they kept chasing us.
I can't BELIEVE Andrew found our secret place!
I'm not talking to him anymore.
Friday 9th September – literacy
Andrew keeps trying to talk to me, but I just kicked him in the shins and went to the other side of the classroom.
I think he knows I'm mad at him now.
Friday 9th September – lunchtime
We're having to be behind the bins now, because our secret place was stolen and it's not fair.
The step was our secret place.
I hate the bins.
Friday 9th September – lunchtime
In the toilets, the boys found us behind the bin!
But atleast they won't come in here.
I'm so mad.
Friday 9th September – lunchtime
Still in the loos. In shock. ANDREW just came in here! And asked Lizzy and Sophie to leave – AND THEY DID. And then he came and sat by me under the sink and talked to me and said he was sorry for trying to go to our secret place without an invitation.
I forgave him, because he stole me an extra doughnut from lunch – the ones with the chocolate in them.
He said he won't come to our secret place again unless he has an invitation.
Which he's NEVER going to get, because all three of us have to decide when we can invite someone new into our secret place, and I'm certainly not letting him come.
I think he's funny and he's a good mate. But he's not allowed.
Friday 9th September – cloakroom
THE FUNNIEST THING EVER JUST HAPPENED!
ANDREW AND SEB AND DON ALL JUST SCARED LUCY SO MUCH SHE STARTED CRYING!
I'm supposed to be in Art now, but I'm in the cloakroom because I said I forgot my new pencil with the pony on it in my coat – but I didn't, I just had to write in.
It was so funny, I was laughing so much.
Andrew, Seb, and Don all have detention now, and Lucy was STILL crying when I left the room.
What happened was, all the boys were hiding in the big cupboard where you keep the painting shirts and when she went to open it, they were all in the shirts with a scary face painted over a shirt and had put the shirts over their heads, so she screamed and then they grabbed her, dragged her into the cupboard, then took off their shirts really fast, jumped out of the cupboard and locked her in there for like, FIVE minutes until Miss Thompson came in!
Everybody was laughing so hard! Because everybody hates Lucy Walters because she's an annoying spoilt brat who steals everything.
Friday 9th September – in my den
Me, Sophie and Lizzy are all in my den – we've stolen a packet of jaffa cakes.
I'm not really allowed jaffa cakes, because they make me crazy, but I don't care, because they taste really nice.
We're laughing about Lucy in the cupboard so hard that Lizzy nearly choked and died. But still, it's so funny.
If Lucy wasn't so snobby and snotty and 'know-it-all' and annoying and weird and if she didn't steal everything then maybe I would be her friend.
Friday 9th September – in my den
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
I HATE MUMMY!
ALL THE OTHER MUMMYS' SAID THEY'D LET THEM STAY OVER!
BUT MY MUMMY SAID NO!
I hate her.
Daddy said I shouldn't, and that if I wanted to go and play in the woods behind the house he would come with me, but I'm not leaving my den anymore. I hate mummy. I don't want to see her ever again.
I told daddy that and he said what about him? And I said that I would miss him, but until I knew mummy was out of the house, I wasn't going to leave my den.
Ever.
Friday 9th September – in my den
Just got back from going to the loo. I'm a bit bored in here really. But I can't say that now, because I said I liked it in here and mummy will never let it go if I come out.
Just finished all the jaffa cakes.
Oooh, daddy's just said that mummy has gone out to see Margaret, her friend!
Friday 9th September – in the woods
In the woods with daddy. We're looking for badger holes and fox trails. It's exciting! I hope we have a badger and a fox – we don't have any pets…
Friday 9th September – in my den
There are no badgers or foxes.
Daddy lied.
Mummy came home early and when I proudly told her we'd just stopped for a juice break she LAUGHED and said there were no badgers or foxes around here.
I'm not talking to either of my parents ever again.
Saturday 10th September – in my room
I woke up in my room.
I can't believe daddy broke through the barricade in my den.
Sunday 11th September – in the kitchen
Am talking to my parents again, but not really properly, because I don't want to talk to them. Mummy just suggested we start going to church on a Sunday.
It's like living with Mr Smith, the school Vicar.