Habit For a Habit

I took up smoking because of you.

So I would have something to calm me when I realize over and over that you don't love me anymore,

So that I have something to do with my mouth now that you refuse to kiss me,

So that I can hold something as delicately...as I held you,

So I have something to crave like I craved your company,

So I can dream of something besides your voice singing me into a reverie,

So that I have its crackling echoing in my ear rather than your voice whispering "I...love...you..."

So that I can taste something besides your skin and adore something like I adored your laughter.

It's a half-assed replacement but at least it's something.