"In The Shell"

Everywhere I am, I am incomplete.

I am fragments—of other times,

of other people, in a shell.

I love living but regret being thankful

because of everything I keep losing.

My sorrow was instilled in me from earlier days,

when I cried at everything.

Imagination and impulse carry me

with a sick motion I'd rather be rid of.

I am still a child

who disregards responsibility and

loses her heart to impossible magic.

My soul is far away

playing with mist, swamps, and galaxies.

I am not at peace with good weather

and spirituality. But I worry.

My dark dreams spit truth out at me.

They remind me of the executioner I will always be

and of all those that have gone away.

I pretend to forget. I forget

I will be lonely. I don't deserve

Howl and Sophie's love.

I stood many times with nature, prayed,

when I thought it could keep me alive,

but it let me die.

Your whiteness reminded me that I am human.