My love, my creation, my singular hope for disordered survival, please don't disappear.
You came to me as a reminder;
Of the striking duality of my personality, of the fine balance between crippling weakness and incredible strength.
You were there from the beginning of this enormous mess, keeping me company when I was suffocating, trapped in my own personal bell jar. As soon as I began to think of myself as clean, you served as a violent jolt back to reality.
I deplore everything that you are, everything that you have made me, but you see, I can't live without you. Every time you get a strange glance or a hostile question I go back to our first day. I was young and laughably innocent, but you made changing that your first priority didn't you? But I was never truly myself until there was you. They tried to keep us apart but it was meant to be.
I'm nearly trying hard enough to get you out of my life, but the wounds were too deep and the scars are here for good.