Why

There were all sorts of creatures who lived down in Why—
There were Whosits and Whatsits and Coats—
There were Horses and Thimbles and Whole Loaves of Rye
And a large tribe of Musical Notes—
There was also a Weevil who lived in the sky
And some Razzles who lived in the moat,

But of all of the creatures who called it their home,
There was one who was never content.
He was Seven-And-Six-And-Two-Hund

red-And-Twelve,
And was known, wherever he went,
As a right perfect square, and he certainly was!
He was always the voice of dissent

When the Whosits and Whatsits would want to play How
Or the Notes would aspire to sing.
He would always cry out at the Razzles, "Now, now!
You must stop your absurd razzling!"
And he wouldn't give up until all of them vowed
To keep on with some practical thing.

So one day, when the Horses were playing at chess
And the Number said, "Stop it at once!"
They ran quietly out of the Stables of Why
And returned with a Farmer and Dunce.
"You big oafs," said a Thimble upon their return,
"Did you think that a Farmer and Dunce

Would be able to move the old Number to change?"
"I think not," was the Weevil's reply,
"For I once overheard a disturbing exchange
Between three of the Whole Loaves of Rye
Which suggested that Farmers are practical things—
And, well, Dunces are daft besides."

So the Horses went out in full speed yet again
To deliver the two to their homes.
They returned with a Pen and its very good friend,
A Blank Page, and they saw it—a hope!—
They could use them to do an impossible thing!—
They could finally unsquare the old mope!

So they called out the Notes (who were wizards at math)
And they called out the Coats for their arms
And the summoned the Sum (who was very displeased)
And they brought out the Rye from the Farm—
And they all got to working (and were very soon done)—
They had finished their magical charm,

And when it was all over, the Number was shocked
To see how they had altered his fair.
He was no longer square! And he had a new name,
Which was Seven-And-Eight! And all care
Seemed to suddenly lift from his shoulders at last.
And thus Why had achieved Laissez-faire.

Briefly Revised (5 March 2008)