(From the second guy's POV)
Tonight Decide
To rise against yourself.
Last chance, Your choice
To rise against yourself.
Everyone always loved my boyfriend, Everyone always thought he had it all, A strong mind, A happy mood, a perfect body, even a great family. That was until I found out his Dad hurts him really badly. He rapes him. I saw it with my own eyes. I saw that bastard rape my poor baby. I saw him be brutalized, I heard him his whining crying sounds he made as that...that...That fucking rapist brutalized him and tortured him and broke him in very way.
Not long after his Dad started abusing him, he started starving himself. He would go days without eating and he still hates his reflection.
Right now, I just walked into the bedroom to see him staring into the mirror, in only his boxers. His inner thighs, upper arms and wrists still have bruises on them and he just has his hands against the glass. Staring in hatred at himself. I didn't notice the small knife in his hand until he put it to his wrist.
"Baby don't!" I yell.
He jumps nearly a foot in the air and turns and looks at me.
I whisper his name. "Why are you about to do that beautiful?" I ask.
"Because...Because I'm fat." He says.
You're going out again,
You're acting out again,
You're passing out again.
I groan. "You are not fat." I say.
"Easy for you to say, You're already skinny!" He yells.
"And so are you babe, you need to stop..." I say, coming up to him and pulling the knife out of his hands.
He whispers my name.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Can...Can I...Can I please have that back?" He asks.
"What? No! I'm not gonna let you fucking kill yourself." I say.
"Fine," He says, with that he storms into the bathroom with some clothes. I sigh when I hear the sounds of him throwing up. Why the fuck is he throwing up? He just ate a carrot and some apple for dinner, why is he throwing up?
"Babe, why are you throwing up?" I ask, knocking on the door.
"Go away!" He yells.
"No, You're in there throwing up, you're gonna die if you keep doing this, remember what happened to me, I ended up in the hospital because of that kind of stuff. You can't just sit on that floor and throw up without a good reason." I say.
"I WANT TO BE THIN!" He screams. "I just want to be thin..." He whispers then I hear him choke again and puke.
"Oh god, babe." I try to turn the door. Locked.
"I just want to be thin...Thats all I want." He says quietly.
Don't waste your time on me,
I'm in control
And doing fine!
(But, I'm fining out you're going down)
"Don't bother with me! I'm in control, I'm fine!" He yells.
I sigh and walk away. Nothing I can do here. He just wants some help and I can't help him when he's acting like that. I want him just to come out and we can talk this out but, he won't. Why won't he just listen to me!? I know what I'm talking about here.
I turn when I hear him come out and walk into the other room and sit down and start to cry, loudly. I quickly get over to him and try to hug him but, he pushes me away.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He yells. "I fuck everything up! I deserve to die! I'm a horrible son! I'm a horrible boyfriend! I'm horrible in bed! I should just die and get it over with! I don't have a reason here other then to get fucked!" He yells.
"Don't talk like that! You're not a bad son, you're a amazing boyfriend and you're just fine in bed! Trust me. Just because your Dad said stuff about you doesn't make it true!" I yell.
"Yes! It is true! All I do during sex is cry and whine! I'm such a little bitch!" He yells, grabbing handfulls of his black hair in his fingers.
"Stop it gorgeous, You're not a bitch, not at all." I say, I pull him into my chest and he starts to cry onto me.
"It is true! I'm nothing! I'm worthless!" He cries.
"Stop, shh, shh, stop it. You're scaring me." I say.
"I'm sorry! I just hate myself!" He yells.
Don't waste your time on me.
This is my choice.
This is my life.
(But, I'm finding out you're going down)
The next day I come home from shopping at the store. I look around, I don't see my boyfriend anywhere. I quickly run into the bedroom hoping I'll find him there, he's not there. I start panicing, thinking he went back to his Dad or something like that.
"Bathroom!" I yell in my head, running over. "Babe, Babe are you in there?!" I ask pounding on the door.
No reply. I quickly open the door and find...Him on the floor, on his knees, leaning againt the wall, shaking and sweating, blood on his hands and slits across his wrists. He's also bleeding from the mouth a bit.
I run over to him. "Baby, Oh god, No, Beautiful, are you okay?" I ask.
He looks up weakly at me. "I can't...I can't breathe." He says, I lift his chin and see a big cut across his neck.
"What happened? Who did this?"
"I...I did." He whispers. "I did it." Then...He goes limp.
I quickly take him into my arms and start screaming his name! "Baby wake up! Wake up!" I scream.
He doesn't move. What do I do? What do I do? I don't have a phone and I can't get up and leave him here like this. I have to get help. "HELP! SOMEONE HELP! HELP!" I scream.
Finally someone comes in through the door, its the guy that lives next door, he quickly calls 911 as I hold my baby praying to God he'll make it through.
I'm sad but, not surpised your eyes...
cry panic!
Please decide, to reside
In this promise.
"I'm so cold..." He whispers, his eyes now open wide and staring blankly at the ceiling, only he's shaking again. badly. And his eyes...they cry panic.
"Its okay, I'm gonna help you." I say, quickly talking off my black hoodie and putting it around him. "Its okay, just breathe."
He struggles to catch his breath. "I...I can't." He whispers. "I have to...Leave..."
"Stop it! You're not going to die!" I yell.
"Yes...I am." He whispers, his panicing eyes still staring up.
"STOP! You aren't gonna die! You're not! YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE NOT!" I scream and start crying. I notice he's not moving anymore. "Breathe..." I say, shaking him a bit. "com'on babe, breathe..." he just stares. "JUST BREATHE! FUCKING BREATHE! BREATHE!" I scream as the EMT's come in...
"No...God no..." I cry.
The EMT's start giving my baby CPR, yelling "com'on Kid, Breathe!" Over and over.
I just sit there and cry. Somewhere through my tears, one of the EMT's come over and hugged me and held me as I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
"I can't lose him! I can't! I...I...No!" I scream.
You're sitting right across the room
I wish you only knew
how beautiful, you are!
You're sitting right across the room
I wish you knew
how beautiful you are!
I don't know how long I sat there fucking crying my eyes out on the floor. The EMT's drove me over to the hospital because I was such a mess I couldn't drive.
Now, I'm sitting in the hospital room with my beautiful baby, wishing he could see how beautiful he really is. So thin and gorgeous. I admit, sometimes I'm jealous of him. I miss him...The him I knew when he was happy...Although I clearing remember him saying "I was never happy." It makes me wonder if he ever really was.
He's just lying there, pale, ghostly. The soft slow beeping sound echoing in the room...Beep...beep...beep...beep... It hurts to see him such a mess. He's just so beautiful. He doesn't deserve this.
"Babe?" I ask, moving the hair off his face, there's a big banage on his neck from where he slit his own throat. "Please wake up beautiful. You're so beautiful." I tell him.
His eyes flitter open and he looks up at me, then around the room. "Where am I?" He questions.
"The hospital..." I say.
"WHAT!?" He yells, sitting up, then letting out a cry of pain.
"Babe, Babe, lie down, you're okay." I say, lying him down on the bed.
"But, but, but...They'll find..." He starts whisper. "They'll find the marks." He says quietly.
"You mean the marks your Dad gave you?" I ask.
"Yeah..." He replies.
"Hun, you should tell them. You're Dad can't keep doing this to you..." I tell him calmly.
"NO! Do you know how embarassing that is? To admit to someone that your own Father FUCKED you!?" He yells.
"No sweety I don't, but, you have to be strong. I don't...I don't want him to hurt you anymore." I say, sniffing.
"I'm sorry..." He says.
Tnoight decide to rise against yourself
I'm sad but, not surpised your eyes,
cry panic!
Please decide, to reside,
In this promise!
His eyes, again, they have that panic look and those tears in the edges, he looks so sad. He looks so hurt. Why does he allow himself to be tortured like this? He allows himself to be hurt over and over again?
"Sweetheart, its not your fault at all. You've got to stop throwing him and cutting yourself. Telll me what happened babe, what happened?" I ask.
"I...I got scared, I thought I heard someone in the house, and I...I locked myself in the bathroom, and I started thinking that my Dad was there, and he had his hands around my neck and he was schoking me. It was so real, but, I realised the hands around my neck was not his...they...they were mine. I started throwing up then. I was scared, I couldn't stop...and soon, I started seeing a little bit of blood. Then a little more, then a lot. Then next thing I knew, I was puking up all blood. I was so scared. I still felt so fat and ugly. so...I cut myself." He sniffs, tears runing down his beautiful pale cheeks. "I should have died." He cried.
"No...baby, no...You shouldn't have."I say pulling him into a hug. "I love you babe." I say.
"No, you don't." He says.
"Babe..." I whisper his name softly, and look at him. "I do, you mean so much to me." I say, I give him a soft kiss on the lips. He kisses me back, and wraps him arm around my shoulder and neck. As our kisses become more and more passionate.
"Please never let anyone hurt me again." He says, against my lips.
"I won't let one person hurt you ever again." I say, pulling back and staring into his eyes. "I love you too much to let anyone hurt you. You're too beautiful." I say, kissing him again, he starts to kiss my neck, the feeling of it sends a tingling feeling down my back.
"I love you." He says. "I love you so so much." He whispers against my neck.
You're not alone...
I promise...
"I promise, I'll always be here for you, you'll never be alone." I say, now climbing on his hospital bed and gently, pulling off his hospital gown over his head and start lying kisses from his lips down to his bellybutton, where my tounge gently slides out and around his naval. Then back up to his collar bones where I gently kiss the sharp bones in his chest that jult out.
He undoes my belt and pulls it off and then slides down my pants as I push off my shoes and pull off my band shirt. as his hands run up and down my chest. feeling every bone.
"You're so beautiful." He says.
"You're the beautiful one, I promise." I tell him.
You're not alone...
You're so beautiful!
I promise.
He looks away and blushes. "I wish I could-" He starts but I cut him off.
"Believe me, you are. You're so damn beautiful." I say, kissing him again. My eyes try not to trail to the bruises and rips in his thighs. I feel tears start up in my eyes.
"Its okay baby, I'm okay." He says.
"Does it...Does it hurt?" I ask.
"Yes." He says. "It hurts a lot." He whispers.
"Then we shouldn't do this." I say he grabs my hand.
"No! I want to, Please! It doesn't hurt so badly." he says, he pulls me back on top of him and wraps his legs around my waist, as I slowly, gently, carefuly come inside of him.
"Ow...Ow..." He whispers softly.
I quickly get out. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" I ask panicily. "I'm so sorry!" I say.
"Its fine, I'm fine." he replies. "It just hurt a little." He says.
You're not alone...
Never forget
I promise
"You can go back in, it doesn't hurt too bad." He says, I slowly slide back in. I really don't want to hurt him. I want to make sure he's okay.
His legs tighten around my waist. "I love you." He says softly.
"I love you too beautiful." I say. "Never forget...
You're not alone
What its like
I promise
...What its like...
I promise
To be loved!
I promise...
...to be loved..." I tell him softly.
FIN (for now, I might come up with another one)
how beautiful.
Comment/review please!
No homophobs! You don't like it don't read it!