Oh, flying fudgemonkeys of doom. I am grounded for the rest of my life. If I even manage to get back home in the first place.

Now, you might be wondering: what did you do, woman?

And I tell you, all I did was try to be nice to my annoying little cousins.

And you might be saying: yes, but why did you fail?

Well, I wouldn't use the term fail, exactly, but yes, my consent to play the Candy Land board game with them ended in a total disaster.

How, you ask? Well…Good question. All I know is, one moment I'm at my uncle's house, trying to break up an argument between Theresa and Megan (who are fighting over who they think is going to get to Queen Frostine's Ice Cream Floats first), when suddenly, John, Theresa, Megan, Robert, and I are lying in a sour straw field with little cotton candy clouds floating above us.

Don't ask me if I've lost my mind, because truthfully, I don't know either.

But it doesn't end there. A furry little green guy carrying a basket of plums comes along and says that we have to find the king and "save him from the evil, sticky clutches of Lord Licorice." I kid you not.

Let me tell you how it all began…