The TRUTH About Humpty Dumpty

We all know the story of Humpty Dumpty. He sat on a wall and had a great fall and all that load of horse shit. I tell you it's all fuckin' wrong. I know the truth, and it will amaze you. Here is the REAL poem about that poor, misguided egg.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Gravity grabbed him by the ass,

Pulled him down into the grass.

Kicked him square,

In the crotch,

I couldn't help but watch.

I was outside,

In the yard,

But I couldn't call for help.

Why?

Because I was laughing to fucking hard.