I thought he was there,
but he wasn't.
He never was,
and he never would be.
It replays:
He won't want you.
He won't miss you.
He won't look back.
I fought.
I fought for all we were,
all we could be,
and all we couldn't be.
He enabled me,
knowing too well my hopeless love.
I enabled him,
and he reaped the rewards.
I wait patiently,
knowing my time is gone.
A word from him would cure everything,
make me forget my sorrows,
but he remains mute.
Yet I hold out,
like he knew I would.
I drown myself,
refusing to come up for air,
because then I would have to move.
I can never cut this love.
I want to.
I beg to.
As much as I sing his curses,
I cannot quit,
because quitting means forgetting,
and in forgetting,
I am alone.
I won't forget,
but simply hold him near.
I hate and I love,
Nothing more,
Nothing less.
Never more,
Never less.