I looked at myself in the mirror. Spiky hair, eyes slathered in dark eye shadow and eyeliner, dark lipstick and an expression that said 'go to hell'. Annoyed by what I saw – yet not knowing why – I flicked out my penknife and played with the blade for awhile. Not being perfect, the blade nicked me a couple of times, and I watched in vague interest as little drops of blood gathered here and there before streaming down my skin.
One of the few small pleasures in life – just another innocent obsession.
I looked away from the mirror to face a room that similarly reflected my attire of clothing – dark, black, depressing, rebellious… comforting. Of course, my parents were far from happy when I turned Goth about a year back, but there was nothing they could do. I was an adult now – I was already seventeen. I was old enough to drive! – I could make my own decisions. They no longer had any right to hold me back from the nothing that life had to offer me.
I walked out of my room, down the stairs. As I walked down the stairs, I saw my little brother and sisters with their friends watching some football match or the other. For a moment I wondered if I should tell them I was going out – but decided against it. I was a rebel. I do not tell anyone anything. I simply walked out the door and slammed it behind me, not looking back.
I continued down the pathway, glaring at anybody who even dared to come within five feet of my presence. The neighbour's kid, the other neighbour's grandparents, the next neighbour's old cook, the neighour's neighbour and the mongrel that begged from the children of our street. The post guy and policeman were not spared from the hatred I radiated to the rest of the world, either. They all deserve to suffer from my wrath for all the pain they must have indirectly caused me. All the faults that were in the world were due to everyone. We should all just die.
An image of a mountain of bodies swimming in a pool of blood like some sort of fine dining soup came to mind. I shivered, not from disgust, but a sort of hidden desire that was a little sick – even I had to admit that. But there were worse people out there than me. Nobody was perfect, and neither was I. But I was not as defective as the rest.
'Holy crap, what happened to you Alison?'
'My name is no longer Alison. I am now Crypto.'
My expression darkened even more as I thought about the little meeting I had with that person. It had been ages since we met – sure we were close a long time ago, but that was in the past. That was when I was ignorant and stupid, and knew not of the grief of this world. That we were all doomed.
'…Okay. Fine. Crypto. What the hell happened?'
'I was enlightened, Liana. I am no longer the person I used to be.'
'I can see that. What have you been doing to yourself? What'd your parents think about this… thing?'
'I no longer call them parents. They are separate entities and beings who have served their purpose in creating my existence and making me survive long enough to be miserable. They are very cruel people.'
'Crypto. My name is Crypto.'
'Fine! Whatever – Creepo, what happened to the old you?'
'I made a decision a long time ago, fellow homo sapien of mine. We were comrades once but that is in the past. I now walk along my own path. I was given the ultimatum and this is what I choose.'
Yes. I was given the ultimatum, and this is the path I chose to take. I could no longer bear the idiocy that was going on around in my whole world, and knew that I could not face it the way I was. I had to make a choice – to stay as the person I was, or leave that ignorant little girl behind and create a whole new book in my life.
I chose the latter.
I never looked back.