Prologue
"Wait!" I scream, even though my voice is hoarse and it hurts. He looks at me, and I scream again as the pain erupts inside of me. His smile is so alluringly beautiful, and I find that I can't resist it, even though I know what he is doing, and what he is planning to do. He is so beautiful, even more than the standard beauty that belongs to every successful person in my country. His mind beckons to me. Should I go? Why not? The world is going to end all over again anyways, so what does it matter? I wish I could just sink into his soft, warm arms and stay there forever.
Love is unconditional, people say. But is it really always true? Is it really right for me to let my selfishness take over and stand back instead of becoming what I know I can be? I wonder if I have the strength to break my heart. I love him so much, but what am I to do? I even know that he does not love me back. I know all of this, but should I really sacrifice that much for everyone else? Can I not just let things be and let myself come first for once?
I feel myself walking toward him, as the magnetic pull of his body pulls me to him. If this is to be the end of the world, why not die together with the one I love? It would be so much easier. And who knows? Maybe I will survive, as long as I'm in the arms of my beloved. The pull grows stronger yet, and I feel myself give into it. Only a few more steps and I will be there. Closer, closer, closer…
Chapter One
I sit up in bed, panting and panicking. Looking around me, I stifle a scream when I see my familiar surroundings. I make sure that I am still lying in my round bed, floating about a meter off the ground. I can see the comforting circular shape of my large room when I look around, my bed spinning in slow circles. I see the door to my walk-in closet, and the door to my bathroom. Straight ahead is my desk, and hanging above it, some of my best sketches and paintings. I sigh in relief, knowing that I'm not in that horrible place that was my dream. Looking out my giant windows, I can see the pink and orange sunrise, and I groan, annoyed. I then look up to the ceiling, where the time is being projected for me. Ugh, it's only 3 am. How will I ever fall asleep again after this stupid dream? Yet, it is the same exact dream that has been reoccurring for the past week or so. I always wake up, panicked, sweating and out of breath, a painful longing in my chest. Why was I feeling that? I didn't love anyone. Not even my family. Because even though they were my family, they didn't treat me like their daughter, their sister. No, I was an outcast, because of my… ability.
Sighing once again, I press a button, and my bed lowers itself to the ground, and I can go to the bathroom. I make sure to avoid the shining mirror in front of me, and look around the counter for my sleeping pills. They didn't help so much, as they kept me paralyzed in my dream, unable to wake up, but after dreaming it once tonight; I think that it should be okay to risk it. I fill a small glass with water, place the pills on my tongue, and gulp down the water. Feeling the pills taking their effect on me immediately, I hurry back to my bed, not wanting to collapse on the floor. I don't even have time to make my bed hover again before the pills drag me under, and I finally fall into a restless, fitful sleep.
A few hours later…
"Crap! Crapcrapcrap!"
I am shouting and running around, desperately trying to gather all of my things before the bus leaves. Once again, I am late. I really didn't expect the sleeping pills to take that long to wear off, and I must have missed my alarm. Which is strange, really, because the noise is deafening. But that is the only way I can normally wake up. It's so typical that I wake up late. I swear, someone up there really has it out for me. But what did I do? I think to myself.
The only time I stop is when I come face to face with my reflection. I shudder, and through my misery, try to feel even the slightest bit of hope. Today's the day, I think. That will change everything. Staring back at me, is a hairy beast, fur covering every inch of skin on my face, arms, legs, you name it. I try to stop the tears from falling, but I'm just so ugly. Of course, everyone else is too, but they aren't hated every day of their life. They didn't get bullied when they were younger, because they would answer questions nobody had asked. At least not aloud. They weren't thought of as crazy. It was just so horrible. My face, I mean. Soon, it would all get better, though. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. I turned 15 three days ago. I would be fine, I would be fine. Repeating that to myself, I realized what the time was, and cursing and muttering under my breath, I sprinted down the stairs and out the door.
"Please, wait for me! Waaaaiiit!" I plead, but to no avail. The bus has already closed its doors, and shrugging and frowning at me, the driver floats on down the street. Crap. I would have to run to school now. And I hated running. Really badly. Why me? Oh god, I was going to be late, and then the teacher was going to be pissed, and then everyone else would laugh, and I would die of embarrassment, and I would never live through the Challenge, and then I would fail it, and then I would have to work and work and work for the rest of my life. My thoughts kept spiraling down a never ending spiral of dread, and wailing, I started to jog to the school, a few kilometers away.
When I finally get to the school around an hour later, I know that I am really late, and in even bigger trouble than ever before. I walk straight to the reception, head hanging down, hoping that somehow, they wouldn't notice me. But I am tall for my age, and as luck would have it, it seems as if the attendant is waiting for me. I frown, but quickly replace the expression with one of shame.
"I'm really, really sorry I'm late, but the bus left without me, even though I was there, and –"
The attendant cuts me off with a cruel glare, and I avert my eyes. It's rude to stare, after all.
"You're late. And you will be receiving three hours of after school service and detention, which you will serve today, right after school," She says, in a harsh and unpleasant voice.
"But, but, but –"
"No buts! Now get off to class before you earn yourself another hour!"
I hurry on, making sure not to dawdle or make eye contact. When I get to the class, the teacher shoots me a disapproving glance, but says nothing. At least, not aloud.
"Oh, not Lily again. I don't see why she hasn't been suspended, or better even, expelled, yet," She grumbles to herself, never thinking that I would hear her.
All around me, the other students are passing notes, and I know that they are about me, and laughing and shooting me snide glances.
"Ew, she's so ugly – ugly even for a beast!" Most of the girls think.
"Haha, I still can't believe what a freak she is!" The guys all think, as if their thoughts were all one collective one.
I look down at my desk and start taking notes, sighing. This was going to be a long day.
A/N: Hey!
To OLD READERS: So this is a re-write of the first chapter, since I felt the old one was really crappy… ): I'm going to write chapter seven soon, so bear with me! It was just, I wanted to make this better, since the old chapter was total crap, in my opinion ;)
TO NEW READERS: Hello, everyone! I hope that you enjoy my story, but be warned – I am very bad at updating! (Because of school work, and all that crap. Besides, I do want to have a social life as well ;) Feel free to review, after all, it doesn't take very long to write a sentence or two… or even less, if you want (:
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL MY AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY READERS that bear with me even though I almost never update! God, I feel so bad about it… ):
Hugs and Kisses,
And all my love,
-Emsy144/Emma
P.S. I am seriously contemplating changing my nick, but I don't know to what, so if anyone has any recommendations, click the little green button below and let me know! ;)