3Sunday, May 03, 2009
I wrote this partly coz the mood took me but also because of my feelings towards my dad. And I got a computer for the first time in about 4 years. Sadly it doesn't have internet so I will upload this at school. He left when I was 10 and the only thing he said as to why was the fact that 'no longer loved my mother'. I'm also discovering some things about myself so I thought I ought to get all this off my chest and 'start afresh'. I don't hate my dad as much as when he left. I've slowly forgiven him, but I still don't feel close. He hasn't called us for a while Haha he said he would call tonight well it's 8:52 as I write this, so nearly 7 pm in Aussie. Will he call ... I bet NO! 10 bucks on that! This is really just my feelings about him. A lot of these are past feelings but I think they are still relevant in some way or another. So 6 years later I'm typing about him, to make myself feel better. Miserable Sod. Im listening to Enrique Iglesias at the moment and as this line passes. I will survive and My Asshole of a Father can piss off. He makes no effort, so I won't bother. Hehe. Crazy Mini Rant Over. Oh look at that 9:01 pm well that makes things easy. EJ out.
-Update the sod didn't call. Haha
I hope you like my poem. It is heartfelt and I've felt a lot of these things over these 6 years.
Plus reviewers will get cookies hehe. Chocolate chip? Plain? Any type you want.
Do you know what it feels like?
Do you know what it feels like?
To not have you with me
Do you know what it feels like?
To not have your guidance when I need it most
Do you know what it feels like?
To suffer alone
Do you know what it feels like?
To not know if you love me
Do you know what it feels like?
To be left in the dark and the cold
Do you know what it feels like?
To have you miles away
Do you know what it feels like?
To have to do everything myself
Do you know what it feels like?
To grow up quicker than most 10 year olds to look after mum
Do you know what it feels like?
To wonder at 10 what I don't love you means
Do you know what it feels like?
To have another woman hit my sister
Do you know what it feels like?
To have another woman act like our mother
Do you know what it feels like?
To be a dad
Do you know what it feels like?
To be a father
Do you know what it feels like?
To wonder if you love us
Do you know what it feels like?
To wonder when you're next going to call
Do you know what it feels like?
When you don't take an interest in us
Do you know what it feels like?
To be the last one to realise that you moved away from me
Do you know what it feels like?
To know that the chances of you calling on our birthday is slim to none
Do you know what it feels like?
To wonder if you know when our birthdays are
Do you know what it feels like?
To know disappointment from a parent
Do you know what it feels like?
To feel like you ran away
Do you know what it feels like?
To take on so much responsibility
Do you know what it feels like?
To not know what matters
Do you know what it feels like?
To do more than is expected of you
Do you know what it feels like?
To hear your mother scream when you told her about Mary
Do you know what it feels like?
I used to think the world of you
Do you know what it feels like?
To have the world crash down around you
Do you know what it feels like?
To see your mother break down in tears
Do you know what it feels like?
To be left alone
Do you know what it feels like?