"You know what?"


"I'm gonna eat your grandma."


"I'm gonna eat your-"

"No, I heard you…just…what?"

"Also, I'm going to feed you a poison apple."


"And, I'm going to have your mother cut your hair."

"I just got it cut last week…"

"I'm going to have your step-mom steal one of your shoes."

"Okay, really, this has gone far enough! Why in the hell are you trying to kill me, my beloved granny, and ruin my life? You know I only have one pair of shoes. And I don't have a step-mother!"



"Don't all those lead to the guy saving the girl and them passionately making out?"

"…eating my grandmother has nothing to do with that. In little Red Riding Hood the wolf was hacked to bits."

"Oh…not in the anime. The wolf is part boy and super cute and little red riding hood falls madly in love with him. And it just so happens that her g-ma was evil."

"Did you just call a guy super cute?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So…you want me to fall in love with you."

"Well that would make me eating Nana a whole lot more explainable."

"Yeah? OK."

"And besides, if you did fall in….did you just say OK?"

"No, I said I'm going to break you out of prison."

"Are you now?"


"Why am I in prison?"

"Well, you did eat my grandmother. That's murder."

"So you're gonna bust me out?"

"Yeah. It's kinda hard to love a jailed criminal. The neighbors would talk."