Shilling Paste

I know that step-siblings are supposed to be evil, but mine are disgustingly evil. It's scary. They're scary. My step sister, with her cute little pout and her adorable eyebrows- it's just too much. Evilness is all she's made of.

And my step brother. James. He's not got a single kind bone in his body. When he smiles at me as I wake him up and says "Good morning Andy" in that unbelievably contented voice- how is that not evil? When he sings as he mops the floor and swings his hips back and forth in time with the mop- you mean to say there's no malice there? Or when he gives me those enormous puppy dog eyes? They are a thin veil for all of his dastardly planning. James isn't a good person.

Me- I'm a good person. I don't pretend to be what I'm not around people. If I don't like you, I won't pretend to be your friend. You'll never see me again. I help out other people when I know that they need the help. None of this phony "Give money to our charity and once we've finished buying Porsches and heated pools for the entire board of directors some of it might actually make its way to the starving children we just showed you in this video." I check my charities. And I respect my parents - well, just my mom now that my dad's skipped town - and I guess my new step dad - as long as they're acting respectable (you try to respect a woman half your size when she's drunk out of her mind and singing about condoms).