She isn't left in peace for very long. Having decided to ignore the dinner bell in favor of reading Animal Farm and trying to distract herself from her own thoughts, she was looking forward to spending the rest of the evening alone. A loud knock a little less than thirty pages in ruins that idea.

She sighs and tucks the book under her pillow before getting up and opening the door. It was, of course, Bean, looking surprisingly apologetic. "Can we talk?"

Katherine rolls her eyes and opens the door all the way for Bean to come in. Which she does, and plops herself on the bed. "How's class?" She even sounds genuinely interested. I know it's fake, I know it is, and yet Katherine softens.

"It's good, I guess. I like it, anyways. How're the days?"

"You know, alright. I wish I could have something to distract me too."

Katherine just shrugs, the question of Bean attending Mr. Toulsie's class is one that has caused tension between them for quite some time. "Do you think I would like it?"

"I don't know. It's a lot of work, math and science and stuff. And Dr. Hedge has to give his approval." This, she feels, is her fail-safe. Even if Bean was determined to join she's counting on Dr. Hedge's caution about the girl's attachment to herself to keep Bean out. It's selfish, she supposes, but she usually spends so much time with Bean she just wants this one thing to herself, this one part of her new life where she doesn't have to hear Bean's opinions on everything.

"Ick, I don't even get why you're doing it."

Katherine manages a small chuckle, "I like math."

"You must be insane. No one likes math."

"Then I guess I belong here, because I really do."

They laugh after a moment of awkward silence and I'm disappointed to realize the relationship is once again fixed. There's nothing to do about it, I promised myself I wouldn't interfere again but it's such a temptation. Almost everyone she should trust has warned her against the girl, but Katherine is completely obstinate. There's no convincing her, and I'm at a lost for what I would actually do even if I did force myself on her again.

"So there's this girl in my class who absolutely hates me and I haven't even spoken a single word to her."

"What a charmer, I wonder what that's a symptom of?"

"It's a symptom of being a bitch, is what it is."

And they're back into their old groove of criticizing everything around them and feeling superior. It's different this time, though. Katherine goes through the motions but they lack the conviction they'd once had. Behind it all are the voices of Dr. Hedge, Mr. Toulsie and Nurse Dawson.

"Don't you hate how they use being crazy to excuse their crappy behavior?" She's saying this in defense against her own reproachful thoughts. She doesn't want to feel bad or question the easiest way to deal with this place. Which is to blame everyone else and wait for some miracle to get her out instead of accepting that she needs help and actually working at getting released. I think she's hoping that eventually, the guilt will consume her parents and she can use it to get them to check her out. It's not like she's ordered here by the state, she's not a menace to society or anything.

Maybe not Katherine, but you're certainly not helping it either. You destroyed a family and you spend all your life that shouldn't be yours wallowing in self-pity. It's ridiculous.

"Yeah, they can be the shittiest people on earth and you can't get mad at them because they're mentally infirm."

Despite Bean's wishes, she can't convince Katherine to come down for dinner, and even though there friendship is mended, Katherine has begun to appreciate her time alone again. This time, at the very least, she doesn't sleep constantly and ignore the world around her. She reads and does math problems, for the most part, but it's still more interesting than the person she was before. I almost always tune out when she's talking to Bean, referring page to the pages of Shakespeare I've seen so far. I'm excited because it seems Mr. Toulsie is going to have them read Romeo and Juliet, I have no idea what it's about and I'm sorry I haven't been able to get to the end of Midsummer's Night Dream, but I'm still looking forward to it.

Unfortunately, the sessions with Dr. Hedge pick up on frequency and it interrupts the tutoring more often than not. Never for very long, they seem to be planned around Katherine's supposed lunch hour and it's not as if she's the only one in the class that occasionally has to ditch for appointments with their respective Doctors, but for some reason Katherine feels embarrassed that she should have to be called out by a nurse to attend a session.

She's still rather convinced that she doesn't have anything anyone can help her with and that she isn't mentally ill. So being called out for appointments with Dr. Hedge contradicts the view of herself she wants to put forward, especially to Mr. Toulsie. She likes and respects him and hates the idea that he thinks she's crazy.

But she attends them, and slowly she opens up more and more around the doctor. If not because she believes she can be cured but because she wants to prove to him that he's wrong, and that she needs to be sent home.

When she's returning to class she always sneaks in like she's been off doing something horrible and doesn't want anyone to know. It's not as though anyone is fooled by her, or that they all aren't in the same boat. I can't quite understand Katherine's aversion to being like everyone else except that she's still under the impression she deserves to be this miserable. And maybe she does, I don't know. I can't pretend to be an expert on any ethical matters. She killed someone, she didn't do it on purpose, it has clearly destroyed her, but it doesn't change the fact that someone is dead.

What Mr. Toulsie says makes sense to me, but how much can she base her life around owing someone else? I really don't know the answer and it seems to be a difficult situation for anyone to approach. Katherine, Dr. Hedge, Mr. Toulsie and even, I have to admit, Bean have valid points. The latter is the worst for me to acknowledge because I hate the girl, but I don't think Katherine's crazy either, not per say. I think Katherine has just given up on herself so completely I'm surprised she hasn't tried to off herself. Although I think I would have to break my promise and intervene if it came to that. Perhaps the only reason she hasn't tried to jump off the roof is because some small part of her believes she should be allowed to live. It's that part of her that desperately needs to grow larger, I just don't know how it's going to happen when she's so unbelievably stubborn.

Her days fall into a routine again - she seems to be unnaturally fond of the things. Mr. Toulsie's class are my highlights, and especially when we switch to Shakespeare. I still have no clue how long she's been here, but Dr. Hedge mentions something during one of their sessions of it being a 'little over a month'. Oddly, I've had no concept of that time passing by. I would not have been surprised if he had told her one year, or one week. Although I do recognize that a little over one month is a long time for her parents to have not come visiting again. I know Katherine wonders about it, although she pretends it doesn't bother her in the least. She's developed an amazing talent at lying to herself and almost believing it. They do come, eventually, but at I'm at a loss to say how much after 'a little over a month' it is.

The visit is awkward and stiff, but some of Katherine's anger seems to have been left behind and there's no screaming. I doubt this place is going to return to them a sunny, grateful daughter like they're hoping for and I doubt their relationship will ever really get over this, but anything would be better than what they had before she came to this place, in which the relationship consisted them trying to hold conversations with someone who was as close to a zombie as anyone was ever going to come outside of movies.

"Do you want anything from home? We're planning on coming more often now, it was Dr. Hedge that suggested we stay away for a while, or we would've come sooner. We miss you, Kath."

I think her mother must be lying or otherwise a parent's emotions are completely irrational because no one could miss the lump Katherine used to be. I think they must mean, like everyone seems to, the girl Katherine used to be. That girl in the photo that she doesn't even recognize.

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure, honey?" Her father implores, looking a little too hopeful. They must feel kind of useless, I think they want to be needed, for once, by their daughter. And she seems to sense this, although that look on her father's face isn't exactly hard to read. I'm pleasantly surprised, but not completely shocked, when she actually reaches out to them.

"I could use my quilt."

Her quilt is something I became very familiar with in the mass amounts of time I spent in her room. It's a beautifully stitched thing that her late grandmother made for her, and it hung on her wall, above her bed. I never got that long a look at it because of that, but the glimpses I did get assured me a lot of work went into making that thing.

The father nods and smiles and rubs his hands on his jeans, looking more pleased than he should. "Alright, alright, your quilt, of course. Anything else?"

"I, uhh, really hate the shampoo here."

Her mother smiles too now and sinks down into the couch. This is a conversation she can tread into safely. "I bet they're making you use no name crap, huhn?"

"Yeah, it smells just like the hand soap. Lily and I are convinced it's the same thing."

"Who's Lily?"

"Oh, just a friend."

Her parents exchange overtly delighted looks at that little phrase, just a friend, how long has it been since Katherine's had an actual, honest-to-goodness friend?

"So you don't hate it here?"

"No, I guess not. Mr. Toulsie's classes are especially fun…"

They actually spend the rest of their visit in pleasant, if somewhat halted and careful conversation and Katherine leaves the visitor's lounge feeling warm. Unsurprisingly, with nothing better to do, she goes in search of Bean. But the girl who is omnipresent and who I was half expecting to be lying in wait right outside is nowhere to be found. She's not in the cafeteria, not in Katherine's room, not in the library, not in any of the activity rooms which briefly reminded her that Nurse Dawson still hadn't gotten back to her about how much trouble she was in for accidentally skipping those things. Finally, she sees one of the girls she seats with at lunch and asks her where Bean's room is. The girl points Katherine in the right direction and shrugs.

"At least I think it's that one, anyways. She never lets anyone in there."

Katherine follows the directions and knocks on the door hesitantly, but no need because a second later Bean's voice comes through the door.

"Who is it?"

"Katherine."

"Oh, uhh, hold on."

There's a lot of clattering and shuffling that comes from behind the door, like Bean is hurrying to clean up before she lets Katherine in. Maybe she's a slob, and that's why she won't let anyone come see her room. It wouldn't surprise me. It takes an ungodly amount of time before Bean opens the door. Katherine probably would've left earlier except her friend kept calling 'one more second!'

It was never, ever, one more second.

When Bean opens the door she looks red-faced and sheepish. "Sorry about that, come on in."

The room is odd. All her walls are covered with sheets she's stuck to the wall with corkboard tacks, her dresser drawers look about ready to explode with clothing that she's obviously wrapped around objects of varying shapes and then shoved in.

Katherine looks around, confused. "Nice décor?"

"Oh, heh, yeah. I, uhh, what did you want?"

"Just wondering where you'd gotten to…" Katherine trails off, she hasn't stopped looking around the hurriedly covered room and her eyes have been caught by a scribble of writing on the wall not completely covered by one of the sheets. She goes over to the wall and tugs the sheet until it comes away. Like a dramatic red velvet stage-curtain it ripples down the wall.

THEY ARE COMING. THEY ARE COMING. THEY ARE COMING.

Written over and over again on the walls, intertwined with complex mathematical equations that can't possibly make sense, interjected with pictures and symbols as they are.

"No!" Bean cries, seemingly haven been frozen for a moment as she reacts much too late. She stops, gathering the sheet in her hands and cradling it to her chest, rocking back and forth on her heels and looking upset. "You weren't supposed to see yet. Not yet. You weren't ready. You weren't supposed to see yet."

Katherine, a cold calm having come over her, ignores Bean and goes to pull the other sheets off the wall, revealing more incoherent and frightening scribbling, along with newspaper clippings that depict various stories of kidnappings, disappearances, and murders.

"What is all this, Lily? Who's They?"

Bean looks incredibly distressed. She's red in the face and tears are streaming down her cheeks, yet she doesn't make any sobbing noises. "You weren't ready! You weren't supposed to see yet, you can't understand yet. You can't! You'll think I'm crazy if I explain. You weren't ready to see! WHY DID YOU LOOK! You weren't ready."

I'm kind of wishing Katherine hadn't backed herself into the room, with Bean standing between her and the door as the girl gets increasingly agitated. "Lily, what are you talking about?"

"They, them, of course! You know, or you would've, if you had, had just…waited."

Katherine drops the sheets in her hands and doesn't even bother going to unwrap the things in the dresser. She doesn't really want to know and besides that, Bean looks upset enough as it is. I remember now that Bean has mentioned 'they' before, but I had always assumed she'd been talking about the doctors. Now, I'm not so sure.

"The doctors?"

"No, nonono, not the doctors, but what's under the doctors. They, them. The ones keeping us here, we're not crazy Katherine, they're just keeping us out of the way, because I know too much and I was going to share it all for you, when you were ready, when you were ready."

Katherine nodded, although there was no doubt for either of us that yes, in fact, Bean was quite insane. "Alright. Well, I'm just going to go to the bathroom and I'll be right back, okay?"

Bean, who was still crying and rocking looked at Katherine with such desperation that she literally took a step back. Coming forward, Bean grabbed Katherine's elbow. "Promise you'll come back, promise."

Looking into Bean's pleading, hopeful eyes Katherine gave a shaky smile and lied, "Of course I'll come back."

The girl wipes her running nose on the back of her sleeve and nods despondently. "Okay, okay, just hurry, hurry."

Katherine edges passed Bean and the moment she's out of the room, she takes off at a run, the first nurse she runs into is one she doesn't recognize, but she pulls him aside anyways.

"You need to check on Lily, she's very upset, freaking out, you need to go see her."

She doesn't wait for the nurse to respond, despite his demands that she 'wait'. Instead, she runs right to Dr. Hedge's office and barges in unannounced. Of course, there's another patient there and they both look at her, utterly bewildered.

"Katherine, is everything alright? We already had our session today."

"I know, I know, but I need to talk to you, really badly."

Dr. Hedge looks surprised and I don't blame him. Katherine hasn't admitted to needing anything in all the time she's been here. He glances to his current patient and sighs. "Give me a moment Katherine, just wait outside and try to calm down."

Katherine nods and leaves, taking a seat in the yellow waiting room. She taps out a nervous rhythm on her knees and can't stop fidgeting and looking around. Not that it doesn't bother me, but it doesn't completely surprise me. Bean has always seemed a little unstable to me, the way she attached herself to Katherine, the way she sometimes acted frightened me a little. But Katherine, for whatever reason, was by and large blind to Bean's faults and so the girl's slight psychotic episode, carried out right in front of her has completely shocked Katherine.

Of course, it's also forcing her to rethink some thinks. She had become convinced that she didn't belong here by a girl who was completely insane. She had thought herself just like Bean, misunderstood and wrongfully imprisoned. But what now? The doctors had made no mistakes when it came to Bean, the girl definitely needed to be here, and who knows if the girl is even capable of integrating into society.

Katherine goes through a lot of self questioning before Dr. Hedge ushers out his patient and calls her in. She's still fidgety and anxious and can't quite bring herself to sit down.

"What's happened Katherine?"

"It's Lily."

A flash of comprehension moves across his face and he leans forward, propping his elbows on his desk. "Ah."

"She—she's…."

"A paranoid schizophrenic, Katherine."

"Why didn't anyone tell me? Warn me?"

"She's not a wild animal, she's sick. We tried to…caution you, she has a tendency to form unhealthy connections. Occasionally she thinks she can 'enlighten' a new patient. The danger here is that sometimes, she can. We weren't all that concerned about you because we figured you wouldn't be swayed by her stories of conspiracies and alien infestation if she even ever brought it up to you."

"But she seemed so normal!"

"They aren't always suffering from their delusions, and therapy, combined with medication has brought Lily a long way, but she still has a lot of work to do. It seems she may have slipped a bit?"

"She's written all over her walls, this crazy shit that doesn't make any sense. And she was so upset that I saw before I was supposed to. She was looking to convert me."

Dr. Hedge sighed and smiled a little sadly. "That's not how she sees it, Katherine. In her mind, she was preparing to save you from the evils she sees in her mind. She was doing a good thing, by her standards."

A lot of things make more sense now, how possessive she was, why she kept Katherine from the daily activities, why she degraded the doctors and other patients so much, why she claimed to have a roommate she couldn't stand, so on and so forth. Katherine has a choice to make. Knowing the truth about her friend, will she now leave the girl alone, avoid her at all costs as if schizophrenia were contagious. Or she could be a big girl and continue to keep Bean company, perhaps in a more constructive way than pandering to her critical ways, knowing now they feed her paranoid delusions.

Again, if I had money and someone else to bet with, I would say that Katherine is going to be a coward and try to pretend like the close friendship between her and Bean never existed. She'll be embarrassed that she ever hung out so much with such a crazy girl, and try to put it all behind her.

"Do you want to talk about it anymore?"

"No, no. I guess not."

The episode with Bean has reaped one positive reward. The shock of seeing Bean in that condition has jostled the determined belief that she is fine and doesn't need to be here. If someone as normal seeming as Bean could need so much help, what about her?

"Are you alright then?"

"No, not really."

"We can talk about it in our session tomorrow, Katherine, but right now I have other people to see."

Katherine nods and smoothes sweaty palms on the leg of her pants before leaving his office. She feels odd, slightly displaced as she wanders back to her room and even her schoolwork can't distract her for very long. Soon she gives up on trying to decipher Shakespeare and moves on to advanced algebra, but her answers keep coming up wrong and in utter frustration she throws the pencil against the wall.

Her room is too stifling to bear much longer so she huffs out and goes for a walk, heading in any direction with the simple intent to avoid people and especially Bean. She's hoping that nurse pulled Bean into some kind of room to calm her down and maybe sedated her so that at least Katherine won't have to worry about grabbing dinner tonight. Although how she imagines she's going to handle the rest of the meals in the cafeteria when she's avoiding Bean is beyond me. I have a feeling that Bean isn't going to allow herself to be avoided so easily, either. If anything, this will be motivation for Katherine to actually work on improving herself. If it's only to get away from this place and these people at first, at least she'll still be making progress.

Katherine finds herself at the main entrance to the Sellwyn house without even knowing it. The receptionist looks up when Katherine comes in and raises an eyebrow.

"I just want to go for a walk outside, if you don't mind."

The receptionist takes out a small beeper-sized device and hands it to Katherine. "If you go off grounds, we'll know." She warns, but only half-heartedly. Katherine doesn't look like she's about to run off into the distance. She puts the dev ice in her pocket and nods before pushing open the door and stepping outside.

The air is lovely. It's just finished raining and everything is wet and surreal and clean. A deep breath of this air is more refreshing than anything I've experienced as of yet and I love it. Katherine seems to be enjoying it too; she smiles and simply stands there for the longest time. We go outside more often, getting to Mr. Toulsie's class, but she hardly ever pauses to luxuriate like this. I have never felt more connected to Katherine then I do at this moment. So often we're at odds, polar opposites and I contradict her own thoughts and feelings and choices with everything I am. The rare times we do agree, it's never completely and never for long. This is different.

There's a slight breeze and it's chilly, making her flesh pickle but it doesn't bother her, she enjoys it, in fact. It seems like it gets very warm inside, but that could've just been how absolutely frustrated she was. Still is, but the outdoors is distracting her like reading and math couldn't. I'm not sure (like I never am) how long we're standing there before Nurse Dawson comes out and greets us.

"Katherine? What're you doing?"

"Just getting some fresh air. I, uhh, know. About Bean, I mean."

Nurse Dawson's pretty face falls a little as she regards us sadly. I can tell she feels badly for Katherine, but it's metered by a small amount of an 'I-told-you-so' expression lurking at the corners of her mouth. "How're you feeling?"

"Not too great."

Nurse Dawson comes closer to stand beside us and links arms. "Let's walk."

So we all walk, along the gravel path that connects the buildings and Katherine and Dawson talk about everything but Bean.

"What do they do in the winter? Or when it's raining?"

"Oh don't worry, there's underground tunnels connecting all the buildings, but they can be confusing for people who aren't used to them. Be sure to ask for a guide your first few times getting to Mr. Toulsie's class."

It's fall now, I know that much about how much time has passed. The trees around us are slowly turning colors and dropping their leaves, as though now that they've become rubies and gold gilt, they're too heavy for the branches. The thought of being here in the winter, however, suddenly frightens Katherine. Just how long will she have to be here with people she's all but alienated and been alienated by before she can go? Getting comfortable here seems to have been her biggest mistake, because as long as Katherine is comfortable she feels no need to change anything. With Bean for good off the friendship list and the girls in her class still oddly hostile, Katherine is finally feeling awkward again. It sounds horrible, but if that's what it takes to motivate her, then so be it.

"Do you think I'll still be here at Christmas?"

That thought even depresses me.

"I couldn't say, Katherine. It's really up to you."

Katherine sighs and we continue walking in silence. It's not awkward though. Nurse Dawson points out inane things along the way, 'look at that fat squirrel', or 'doesn't that pile of leaves look like a hobbit?' and so on and so forth. Katherine doesn't respond much, but she's grateful for the chatter and when they make their round a bout way back to the Sellwyn house, Katherine is feeling a lot calmer and relaxed. Nurse Dawson smiles at her and they part ways at the reception area.

Her sense of calm and quiet fly quickly away when she realizes she's hungry and has to go into the cafeteria. If Bean is back, this is going to be a little awkward. But to her intense relief, when she opens the door it's just the other girls, she's a little ashamed to realize she never bothered to learn their names because they were of the 'crazy' rift-raft of which she and Bean had floated above. Now she seems a little humbled as she approaches the table and takes her usual seat.

"Hey guys."

"Hi Katherine!"

She's somewhat surprised by her enthused greeting, and the chatter flows as easily as it did before. No one even asks where Bean might be, although every time the conversation gets even kind of close to the subject of Katherine's 'best friend' she flinches. Firstly, she doesn't want to explain what she saw, or where Bean is or why. Secondly, she doesn't want to be reminded of the somewhat shameful way in which she has already decided to behave, even if she technically hasn't put it into practice yet.

She stills takes part in the conversation, as much as she normally does, anyways. I'm worried for a moment she'll simply sink into comfort again being with them, making friends with these girls. But even as they talk and chatter quite normally Katherine is suspicious of them. I don't think she'll ever let herself get close to anyone in here again, there's too much you can't tell just from eating lunch with someone every day.

Honestly, I think she's being a little ridiculous. These girls are here for a reason and many of them have a severe mental illness, but that doesn't necessarily impede on who they are as people. She and Bean got along very well before she figured out that she was completely insane. While I understand her discomfort and I'm looking forward to no Bean, I wonder if she realizes everyone has their own personal defects. Here they might be more exaggerated, but that's no reason to ignore anyone.

Meals don't continue in the cafeteria as normal the next day; Bean has returned. She seems timid and shy now that Katherine has experienced one of her episodes with her and she doesn't bother Katherine at her room or wait for her anywhere. When Katherine comes in for breakfast, she first looks to her usual table. A pale and shaky looking Bean smiles tentatively at her, she's obviously been watching the door, waiting for Katherine to come in. This is the moment where she will put her cowardly plan into action or not, and for a moment she's frozen. What to do, what to do? She stares at Bean for a while, there's no pretending she hasn't seen the girl now, but she doesn't return the timid smile or tentative wave, instead going to get her breakfast and leaving the moment the oatmeal's on her tray. She takes it to her room and eats there.

This is what she does with her breakfast and diners for over a week, her lunches she takes in Mr. Toulsie's class when she can. That continues to go well, and continues to be her only source of enjoyment in this place, but as snow starts to fall and her sessions with Dr. Hedge continue to seem fruitless, her thoughts turn to Christmas. From what I can glean from her memories Christmas used to be something she looked forward to. Her family used to get together and exchange gifts, there would be time off school and the house always smelled of baking and gingerbread. Here they'll put up some dismal Christmas decorations, have them make gifts in the activities section like they're kindergarteners and make them book maximum an hour with visitors because the demand for the visitors lounge is so high. They're be some kind of pathetic attemp Christmas feast in the cafeteria and it's all going to be trying so hard to be cheerful and festive, it's going to be thoroughly depressing.

Some girls will probably eat it up, the ones who have been here for a while or those who aren't as cynical at the lovely Katherine, but honestly I agree with her. When she compares the image of what Christmas should be to the probably accurate idea of what it's going to be here, it seems desperately lacking in actual joy. The problem is she doesn't know how to make progress. She doesn't know how to change and although she's expressed a wish to Dr. Hedge to do just that, she still doesn't seem to take him seriously. She scoffs at his suggestions more than she takes them under actual consideration, even if they apply to her almost exactly.

She wants to get out, but she doesn't necessarily want to get better, she's still pretty convinced she's perfectly justified in being the way she is and that she doesn't deserve much of a life, or to be happy. It's hard to argue with her when her reasoning is that she killed a little boy. The only reason I know what I would do in her situation is because I am beyond jealous of her freedom and the way she's wasting it. I wouldn't wallow or mope, I might regret, but beyond that I would be selfish and move on with my life. I wouldn't pity myself for something that mostly happened to someone else. The family of that little boy suffered more than Katherine can even imagine, and I think that's part of what's holding her back. How can she deserve to be happy when they probably never will completely get over their own sorrow?

She explains this all to Dr. Hedge when he starts getting a little annoyed with the way she mocks his suggestions in one of their sessions.

"Katherine, you realize you've argued down every single suggestion I've made for how you could possibly improve your attitude about life?"

"That's because they're all stupid."

"Katherine."

"Look, I'm sorry, it's just you expect me to what? Do some deep breathing and 'positive thinking' and be cured? I killed someone, a little boy. I don't think there's any getting over that. Why should I be happy, or better, or whatever? Look at his family, they're probably still miserable."

"You think so? It's been two years Katherine, and they never did press charges. You might be surprised by what people can handle."

"People can't handle careless girls killing their children. If I had just been paying attention it never would've happened."

"That's true. Looking into the past can lead to a lot of regrets, and it's completely understandable that you should be burdened with a large amount of it. But you shoulder that and move on, you keep it with you and let it be part of you who are and let it affect your choices and actions in the future, but you let a future happen. Destroying your own life by your unwillingness to live it is not the answer."

There's a lot of back and forth like this. Katherine continually arguing the only card she has in her hand; the death of a boy. Dr. Hedge struggles to get her to see that yes, it's awful, and yes, she's to blame, but there's ways to cope and move on and be a better person for it, instead of a worse one.

She leaves the session with, once again, a feeling of absolutely no progress made. Dr. Hedge must feel equally frustrated with her, but it seems impossible to get through to her. I'm losing hope again. When she separated herself from the others girls I took that as a step in the right direction, but it seems it only serves to make her more lonely and depressed now, instead of motivating her forward. I think on some level she's even come to terms with Bean and the others, but now that she's made herself into a hermit she can't bring herself to branch out again.

Murderers don't deserve friends, even crazy ones.