117Author's Note: I didn't mean to start writing this yet, but since I'm nearly done with "Imagine Me And You," it just sort of came out one night. If you'd rather wait to read about Jill's early romantic escapades until after I've completed the other story, please feel free to do so. It did feel a little weird to me to be finishing up this semi-saga about Jill and Emily and then turn around and write about a completely different girl in Jill's life, so to a reader that might seem even more erratic.
On the off chance that you've clicked to this page without having read "Imagine Me and You," hello. I don't think it's necessary for you to have read that to enjoy this. However, all the chapters of this piece are going to be about characters from that other story- these are just throwaways: little pieces of their lives that I didn't find necessary to enclose in that story.
Jill Shovet had never been a fan of Health class. Perhaps it was because none of her friends had it the same period she did, so she was stuck in a room with a bunch of brainless, sex-crazed jocks and their girlfriends who always seemed too busy making out in the back to notice the quiet girl sitting in the front row. It was an ideal spot for Jill, because that meant that not only did she avoid the awkwardness of the PDA around her, but also, it meant that usually her teacher was the only one to notice her blushing at the subject material.
Take today, for instance. Sex ed must have been a health teacher's nightmare to have to go through, but Mr. O'Reilly seemed perfectly at ease as he began detailing the history of birth control pills. He had just opened up the class for discussion on the subject of safe sex when he was surprised to see kids actually listening and eager to weigh in on their opinions. A hockey player in the back of the room raised his hand.
"God knows I'd kill myself if I was a faggot," he said. "But that must be one nice thing about being a queer or a lesbo—you don't have to worry about getting pregnant when you're screwing somebody!"
"Yeah, they only have to worry about getting certain 'social' diseases," cackled his girlfriend.
Mr. O'Reilly hurriedly shut them up, but the rest of the class was already laughing loudly. At least, most of them were. Jill, sitting alone on the far right, just blushed deeper and tried harder not to be noticed. Over the last couple of weeks, Jill had been struggling with a long-overdue realization: she was gay, not into boys in the slightest degree. Every moment that she let herself think about it, she was overcome with fear—fear about what it meant, and who she could tell.
Still trembling from the comments that had been made in class, Jill got up after the bell rang and headed for her locker. I could never tell Rachel, she thought, not even wanting to imagine what her twin's reaction might be if Jill were to come out to her. Mom would be horrified, dad wouldn't know what to do, and Zack… She managed a small smile as she thought of her innocent little brother. Zack wouldn't know what it meant, anyway. But the smile soon disappeared as she thought of her best friends: Tiffany, Sally, Olivia …I couldn't ever tell them. They'd spaz.
Pulling herself together, Jill went over to her locker and opened it, exchanging her morning text books for the ones she'd need in the afternoon. But… what was this? Jill had been about to close her locker when she noticed a small, folded piece of paper lying on the bottom. Curiously, she picked it up and opened it. There was a phone number written in blue ink, but that wasn't the first thing that had caught Jill's eye—the small note was almost entirely covered by a deep red kiss mark, the lipstick so fresh that it smudged when Jill touched it with a trembling finger.
Suddenly, the bell rang. Jill stuffed the note into her pocket and started to walk down the hallway, feeling a bit disoriented. Physics. She was supposed to be in Physics, which was on the other side of the school. Knowing that she ought to be running, Jill could not force her legs to move any faster than a leisurely stroll as she thought about the wad of paper in her pocket. Who had left it there? Did they do it on purpose, did they know whose locker it was? If so, did that mean someone had figured out her secret? She wound up being twenty minutes late for class, which meant she had to pass the staring eyes of her classmates as she went to the back row to the only available seat. Something of an avid student, Jill nearly always sat in the front of the room, the better to hear her teacher and participate. Punks and freaks were in the back.
"Hey," muttered the bulky boy sitting next to Jill, as their teacher prattled on about jet propulsion. "Nice to have ya here in the back of the classroom for good old last period. Don't believe we've properly met—my name's Frank Rogers." He had piercing blue eyes, thick red hair, and a wide smile that so disarmed Jill, it took her a moment to realize that he was holding out a pudgy hand.
"I'm Jill," she whispered back, shaking his hand. Not very subtly, she returned her gaze to the blackboard, opening her notebook to some blank paper.
A new voice spoke up: "Jill Shovet?"
Immediately, Jill leaned over a bit to see who had just spoken: the girl sitting on Frank's other side, who had her head cocked slightly and was grinning toothily. Such perfect, white, straight, teeth; Jill had never seen anything like them outside of a Crest commercial. This girl's dark brown eyes were glinting with some sort of secret, even half-hidden behind thin, jet black hair. All of this distracted Jill from wondering how the stranger knew her full name. She wanted very badly to just say something, something intelligent or at least inquisitive, but no words were coming out.
"McKenzie Conner," the girl whispered. She glanced up as their teacher began to hand out heavy packets of physics problems. "I just sort of joined your class today."
They were interrupted when their teacher announced, "Your homework tonight is to finish the first three pages of this packet. You have a little less than ten minutes remaining in the period, so if you like, you may start work on it in groups."
Right away, the class began to chatter, kids turning their desks loudly to put their heads together over the homework. Frank and McKenzie revolved their seats slowly so that they were both facing Jill, who said to the girl, "Are you new in school?"
"No," Frank answered before McKenzie could. "No, Kenzie's in here because she's sort of an idiot." This earned him a slap on the head from his friend, but he just grinned and went on anyway: "She's a senior, but has recently been relegated to our physics class thanks to her innate inability to…uh, how did your counselor put it, again?"
Smirking, McKenzie lazily opened her packet to the first page. "I didn't take this class last year, and my counselor says that this year, my course load is too light for colleges to take seriously. So here I am, stuck in a physics classroom with a bunch of juniors who are sweating balls."
"At least we're not in danger of, you know, failing the course," Frank snickered.
"Shut up, you queer!" McKenzie chuckled, hitting him with the packet. Jill sat up a bit straighter at the word, and both kids noticed. They stopped laughing, but Frank still had the shadow of a smile on his face. "Don't pay any attention to my friend, here," McKenzie told Jill in a low voice. "But he's right. I probably will fail this class. I don't understand physics at all."
Jill tried to discern the look that McKenzie was giving her. Crap …am I blushing again?! Clearing her throat awkwardly, Jill pushed some brown hair out of her eyes and pulled some notes out of her folder. "Well …um… it's not too bad, really. You just have to memorize the formulas."
"I don't like formulas," McKenzie pouted. Indeed, she seemed much more interested in doodling on the corner of her homework packet than trying to even read the first problem.
"What do you like?" Jill asked. She didn't notice Frank stifle a laugh.
Appearing to give the question a lot of thought, McKenzie leaned back in her chair, staring upwards. "Hm… what do I like?" she wondered, tapping her pencil against her strong chin. Her eyes seemed to be mesmerized by the cracks in the ceiling, as if searching them for answers. "I like English," she finally said. "I like to draw, I like to collect things. I like rivers, and wind chimes, and The Bangles, and rainy days, and…" The bell rang shrilly just then, and McKenzie barely seemed to have heard it as she began to pick up her things. Standing up, she winked at Jill and said, "I like brunettes."
Sniggering a little at Jill's startled expression, Frank followed McKenzie out of the classroom like a dog walking proudly behind a respected master. The other students were beginning to exit the room as well, leaving Jill still in the back. She slowly picked at a strand of her dark brown hair, pulling it in front of her eyes. Brunette.
Lately, walking to school had become Jill's least favorite part of day. This was largely thanks to her sister, Rachel, who had recently gotten a very serious boyfriend, Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben. He was all she could talk about, and as Jill didn't want to be rude by asking her twin to shut up, Rachel just kept going on and on about him: his stats as a baseball player, how popular he was, what kind of clothes he wore, what movies he liked, which bands he listened to, how pretty he said she was… geez, what did we ever talk about before Ben came into her life?!
"What about you, Jill?" Rachel suddenly asked excitedly. Her hazel eyes sparkled with intrigue, and she tried to control her light brown, curled hair as it was tossed violently by the wind. "We haven't talked about who you like in ages. How about Nick—Nick DeAngelo? Do you still like him?"
"Rachel!" Jill laughed embarrassedly. "Are you kidding? That was nothing. It was just Seven stupid Minutes in Heaven at Gordon's party. It was nothing. And there are no guys here that I currently like."
Frowning, Rachel remarked, "That's too bad… but fixable, I'm sure! I'll ask Ben if he knows anyone."
Jill sighed heavily in annoyance. "Rachel—"
But they had just arrived at the high school, and Rachel had caught sight of her beloved Ben. Ignoring Jill, she waved wildly at her boyfriend and took off to go meet him in a hug. Her departure was so sudden and dramatic that she accidentally knocked Jill's bag off her shoulder, spilling its contents onto the blacktop. Jill quickly got down to pick up her books, but several loose pages were now being thrown about by an uncaring wind. Oh, great. Well, they were just some notes, anyway, I guess…
Once collecting all of her books, Jill realized she couldn't find her pen. At the bottom of the bag lay a handful of old-fashioned ones, nice for sketching, but rather inconvenient for taking notes. Then she spotted the pen, rolling down the blacktop. She half stood up to go follow it, when suddenly a black, high-heeled shoe gently came down on it, effectively stopping its movement. Still crouching, Jill slowly lifted her gaze past the shoe and up one unbelievably nice leg before laying eyes on the unmistakable smirk of McKenzie Conner. Looking down at Jill as if she were a piece of small, easy prey, she lifted her shoe and Jill quickly grabbed the pen.
"Um…thanks," Jill mumbled, getting clumsily to her feet.
"No problem," McKenzie said with a shrug. "Just doing my part to help the underclassmen, you know."
Not sure if being a junior counted as being an underclassman, Jill decided it was best not to press the issue. Instead, she remembered something that she had been wondering about since yesterday afternoon. "Hey, I meant to ask you… how did you know my name? My last name?"
With a short laugh, McKenzie turned and headed for the school, knowing Jill would be right behind her. "See that birdbrain Ben over there?" she asked, nodding towards Rachel and her boyfriend. "He's in my band class, and I always hear him boasting to his buddies about your sister. He mentioned one time that she had a twin, a twin named Jill." With an air of utmost indifference, McKenzie pulled her short, black hair into a tiny ponytail with a rubber band, relishing in the snapping noise that the material made. "So I just thought maybe it was you."
"Oh." Jill wasn't sure why she suddenly felt a little disappointed.
"I mean, Jill just isn't really a very common name here."
"Well, neither is McKenzie."
"Ha. Right."
"Did, um…did Ben say anything about me?"
They were now caught in the rushing throng of students all trying to get into different classrooms at once. Jill pushed her way forward, only turning slightly when McKenzie gently took her arm. Through all the babbling and hurrying of other kids, Jill heard her say, "He mentioned that Rachel said you didn't have a boyfriend."
And so that made for the second time that Jill was left feeling confused and somewhat more than embarrassed by McKenzie Conner. She couldn't concentrate on anything for the entire morning, taking down notes without any thought to what she was writing, and having to ask her friends to repeat what they said to her because her mind had been elsewhere when they'd first spoken up. Giggling to each other, the girls assumed that she must have been daydreaming about some boy—and Jill was too far gone to correct them.
At lunch, Jill met up with her sister at the Deli across the street. Walking back, they stopped outside the gymnasium part of the school, where Jill could only assume they were waiting for Ben, and then her presence would no longer be required. Standing by the worn-down gate next to the gym, the Shovet girls had a good view at an underpass that connected the two sides of the school. There was a group of four or five kids there, one of whom was definitely Frank Rogers (recognizable by his hair), and was that…?
"Hey, Rachel," Jill whispered. "You see those kids over there? No, sh—don't look so obviously! You see the red-headed guy? And the girl with the black hair and the, the uh…I guess that's a snood. Do you know who she is?"
Rachel suddenly gasped, her eyes widening. "Oh my gosh! She is smoking!"
"What?" Jill asked, terribly confused.
"No," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "She's smoking, like smoking a cigarette. Ugh." She wrinkled her nose. "Just asking for cancer, that's all. Come on, let's go wait for Ben inside."
They did, and about five minutes later, he showed up, sweaty and smelly and altogether rather gross. The grossest part of it to Jill, though, was that Rachel had no qualms about making out with him when he was in such a state. Figuring that she wouldn't be missed if she were to leave, Jill took off down a nearby hallway to find her own friends. But still, all she really wanted was for last period to arrive …wait, why? To see McKenzie?
Was it possible to become so infatuated so quickly? Apparently, yes. Jill had only ever seen the girl twice (well, three times, if you counted the back of her head at lunch), and already it wasn't enough. There was something mysterious and exciting about McKenzie that Jill couldn't quite place; but also there was the fact that she could not recall ever seeing a more uniquely pretty girl at their school. All she knew for sure was that she just wanted to lay eyes on McKenzie again.
This time when the bell rang for final period, Jill ran to class—but she slowed to a walk upon seeing a note taped to the door, and the lights in the room all switched off. Upon closer inspection, Jill saw that the sign read, "All of Mrs. Jennings' classes are cancelled today." What, that was it? No reason, no sub? A few other classmates passed her by, whooping and high-fiving each other, thrilled to be going home early. Deep down, Jill felt like she ought to be glad about it too, but there was no denying that she was really pretty disappointed.
She needn't have been. Turning around, Jill nearly dropped her books when she saw Frank and McKenzie standing right behind her, reading the note. "Nice," McKenzie snorted, smiling and elbowing Frank's massive gut. "This means I'll get a second shot at that homework, now." Opening her backpack, McKenzie pulled out a few papers that looked as if they had been abused quite a bit; she smoothed them out best she could and handed them to Jill. "These might be able to help me, anyway."
Jill's eyebrows raised as she glanced at the papers. "These are the notes I lost this morning, I thought they blew away!"
"They did," Frank laughed. "But they came back, whirling around our way at lunchtime. Ha! You should have seen Kenzie here, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to catch them all."
"Shut up, Frank," McKenzie growled, elbowing him again (but unable to wipe the grin off his face). "It was no big deal," she said brusquely to Jill, who was too surprised to see McKenzie looking embarrassed to say anything. "Look, I was wondering if maybe you could, um… well, I mean, those notes made it look as if you really get this physics stuff. I'm already behind, and so I just thought maybe I—I mean, maybe you could help me out with it. With the homework."
"Y…you want my help?" Jill stammered nervously. "I don't know if I could do that much, I mean, I'm not that great with physics. I just write down everything she has on the board, and I-I can do it, but if you want a tutor, I'm not—"
"She doesn't want a tutor," Frank cut in. "She wants somebody to—"
"FRANK!" McKenzie half-shouted. "Don't you have that thing you have to go to? That doctor's thing? It was really important, you were saying how you wanted me to remind you to go. Now we don't have class, so you can get there early." She glared him down until Frank, still chuckling to himself, obliged and walked away. "Don't mind him," McKenzie laughed, rubbing one of her arms. "It's just been too long since he's had a dick in his mouth, and when that happens, he can start being a creep. Because he's bored, the poor frigging queer."
Such frank talk was not something Jill was accustomed to, but she tried to act cool. "Oh, right," she said. She rubbed her nose and idly brushed some hair behind her ears, before remembering that McKenzie was still sort of waiting for an answer. "Oh! Sorry, um… I guess if you just wanted help with that packet, I could probably, uh… do that. Help you with it, I mean. I did the assignment last night."
Instantly, Jill's words were rewarded with another of McKenzie's dazzlingly bright grins. "Great! Where to, then?"
"Uh…I guess we could go back to my place, if that's all right. It's only two blocks away from here, so… it's not like a long walk or anything." McKenzie told her to lead the way, and so she did, feeling supremely uncomfortable. As they walked, Jill tried to think of something interesting to talk about, but only the most inane questions were coming out of her mouth: what college did McKenzie want to go to, what were her other teachers like, did she have any siblings… dull, dull, dull. And stupid. Dull and stupid. But McKenzie, bless her heart, seemed not to care as she answered each mind-numbing question, imbuing her voice each time with as much enthusiasm as if she were talking to a celebrity.
After a few minutes, they had reached the Shovets' modestly sized house, which sat precariously on the end of Seton Street—precariously because it appeared as if the land developers had shoved it onto the end of the row at the last minute, hoping to squeeze just one more family onto the street. Jill was a little embarrassed by its ramshackle appearance, but if one were to study McKenzie's expression as she studied the little house, one might think she was appreciating a great work of art.
As soon as they had stepped inside, Mrs. Shovet appeared from the kitchen, frowning in confusion. "Jill? What are you doing home so early?"
"Physics was cancelled," she said, kicking off her shoes.
"I can vouch for that," McKenzie added. "There was a note and everything."
Noting her mother's curious look, Jill said, "Oh, mom—this is McKenzie Conner. McKenzie, this is my mom. We're just going to go over some physics in my room."
"Your daughter's really sharp, Mrs. S," McKenzie said.
Blushing lightly, Jill unthinkingly took McKenzie's wrist and led her in the direction of the stairs. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Miss." With her back to McKenzie, Jill didn't notice the little frown of disappointment on her face, but Mrs. Shovet did. Watching the two girls go up the stairs until they had disappeared from sight, the woman narrowed her eyes and almost followed them up, but after a moment, was able to resist the urge to do so.
"Right now I share a room with my sister, and we don't exactly keep it all that clean," Jill apologized upfront. "But she's actually in the process of getting her own room, now that my mother's starting to work outside the house again and doesn't really need her office here."
"Holy crap," McKenzie said the moment that Jill had opened the door to her room. She had been hit all at once with an array of colors: bright, nearly life-sized posters of various teen idols on Rachel's side of the room, and then Jill Shovet originals on the other. The walls on her side had, in fact, been painted by Jill, who had been going through an Impressionism stage at the time. "Wow," McKenzie breathed, touching part of the wall by the window. "This is… Derby Park! You captured it exactly!"
"Thanks," Jill said, feeling her cheeks tinge pink once again. "That's one of my favorite places to go, just to, you know, relax."
"I love that place, too," McKenzie said, turning slowly about the room and admiring various other paintings and drawings that Jill had haphazardly put up. "It's so beautiful, especially if you go at dusk. Nothing but the sound of crickets—"
"—and mist coming off the water!"
"And it feels like no one's around for miles and miles," McKenzie finished. "Well, unless of course you and I were ever there at the same time and we just didn't know it." She surveyed Jill with an oddly knowing stare, still smiling. Her dimples were deep-set in her face, and her eyes squinted slightly, as if she were looking into the sun. As she pulled her physics notebook out of her bag, she seemed to have absolutely no idea that Jill was watching her every move with attentive eyes, her heart beating loudly in her ears.
To Jill's surprise, they actually got quite a bit of work done. Nearly three hours had flown by when suddenly McKenzie realized the time (in addition to the homework assignment, Jill had also assisted her in completing some old labs and other work). Jill hadn't be able to stop herself from working; she'd just been filled with an overwhelming desire to impress McKenzie, to teach her, to make her laugh. The latter turned out to be unexpectedly easy, for which Jill was undyingly grateful: McKenzie had a bit of a hoarse laugh, but it came from deep within her, sounding each time as though she was stunned that Jill had so amused her.
So pleased with how the afternoon had gone, Jill had a very hard time keeping a smile off her face for the rest of the day. In the middle of dinner that night, her father finally got around to asking her what it was about.
"Something good happen at school today?" he guessed.
Jill tried to act casual. "Hm? Oh…why?"
Mr. Shovet smiled curiously. "Ever since I've got home, you've just had the biggest smile on your face! It's nice. I was just wondering if there was a particular reason as to why it was there."
"Oh." Jill bashfully said, "It's nothing. Just in a good mood today, I guess. Would you pass the beans, Rach?"
"You're forgetting something, honey," Mrs. Shovet said to Jill, though it grabbed both twins' attention. "You seemed to have made a new friend today."
"Well how nice!" Mr. Shovet said. "What's her name?"
"She just wanted some help with her physics homework, we're not really friends," Jill said, sounding annoyed at her mother's choice of words. "She's a senior who joined our class recently. Er… McKenzie Conner."
Rachel nearly spat out a mouth full of water; her few seconds of gagging caused their little brother Zack to go into a fit of hysterical laughter. "Gross, Jill, you've got to be joking!" Rachel finally sputtered, adopting an expression that might've been appropriate if she had just swallowed cat vomit. "McKenzie Conner?! She's such a… a freak! Don't you know those weirdos she hangs out with all the time?"
"Don't talk that way about your sister's friend," Mr. Shovet cut in.
"No, dad, seriously! She's a fag hag!"
"What's a fag hag?" Zack asked curiously.
"About as close as you can get to being a lesbian without actually being gay," Rachel snidely answered.
"No, it's a phrase you're never to use again," Mr. Shovet said sharply. "And that goes for you, too, Rachel Ann! Heaven knows why those kinds of people act the way they do, but I will not tolerate such language under this roof!"
Jill sat quietly next to Rachel, wondering if she should say anything else. She wanted to know what her dad had meant exactly. How would he react if he knew there was a gay person under his roof? Maybe not as badly as Jill had originally thought. This was not going to be easy. Just hearing Zack say the word "fag" without even knowing what it meant had cut Jill like a knife. While she was agonizing over this, the conversation about McKenzie still went on.
"I'm pretty sure I smelled smoke on her breath," Mrs. Shovet said quietly.
Rachel had gotten her second wind: "Oh, yeah! She's just bad news, mom! She dresses like a—a… I don't know, a groupie for The Cure, and it's just creepy! Jill, that's who you were staring at during lunch today, wasn't it?!"
"I wasn't staring at anyone!" Jill said quickly, stealing a glance at her mother. "Geez, relax! McKenzie's really nice, and she just needed my help!" After a moment, Jill added in a grumble under her breath, "And she likes the Bangles, not the Cure…"
"Just don't get too attached," Rachel muttered.
Partly now to spite her sister, Jill continued to sit in the back of her physics class, chatting with Frank and McKenzie. To Rachel's annoyance, McKenzie now came to the Shovets' house nearly every other day, causing Rachel to spend most afternoons at her boyfriend's. Jill's other friends were starting to feel ignored and ditched, but Jill couldn't help it—they were just so… humdrum compared to McKenzie Conner.
First and perhaps most shallowly of all, there was fashion. This was only Jill's second year at a public school; prior to tenth grade, she and her siblings had attended a Catholic school that had a very strict dress code. It hadn't been easy for Jill to make friends in their new place (at least, not as easy as it had been for Rachel), but eventually she'd found a group to hang out with: Tiffany, Sally, and Olivia all wore the scrunchies and bangles and bright clothes (especially leggings) that were popular for the time, and spent many a vain hour trying to convince Jill to get a perm with them. What drew the four of them all together was an innate interest in art and their ability to actually have semi-intelligent conversations, a skill that was apparently lost on the sort of drones who Rachel hung out with.
But McKenzie was an entirely different story. Although she too was prone to wearing leggings, they were nearly always black, accentuating her slim legs. Jill sometimes thought she looked like a flapper who had been thrown into the '80s: McKenzie had a fondness for long necklaces, low necklines, flashy skirts, and intense lipstick. She also was relatively flat-chested, another trait common with flappers. Instead of using a scrunchie or a perm to accessorize or style her hair, McKenzie usually just let it hang down in all its stick-straightness, stopping about half an inch before her shoulders. It was not unusual for her to don hats, leaning mostly towards berets, sometimes a fedora, and occasionally a white-knit snood that stood out brilliantly in contrast to her black hair. She also appeared to be infatuated with rings and bracelets; Jill didn't ever think she had seen McKenzie wear the same ones in any given week.
But what really differentiated them was entertainment preference. When Jill's other friends got bored, they might flip on the TV or try painting their nails a new color, while McKenzie played the "See What They Do" game.
It was something McKenzie and Frank had sort of made up, where they tried to do the most random thing they could think of, just to see what kind of reaction they would get. Once in English class, Frank's teacher handed him a test, and the second she let go, he rolled it into a ball and popped it into his mouth—just to see what she would do. Another time, McKenzie had faked an orgasm in the back corner of a classroom while a flustered substitute teacher tried to talk to them about the reproduction system. She just wanted to see how he'd react. Probably Frank and McKenzie's favorite story to relate was the time they were sitting next to each other during a statewide exam, and they got into a fist fight during the last ten minutes.
"What happened?!" Jill gasped. "Could you finish the test?"
"We were already done with it at that point," McKenzie chuckled, smiling at the memory. "But they did tell us we had to leave, yes. The other kids had no idea how to react, though. It was hilarious. And, well, our parents were kind of ticked, but that's their problem. That's the wisdom I impart to you today, young Jill: you gotta do your best to live for yourself. Not what they tell you to do."
Jill looked as though she had never heard anything so profound. "I'll remember that one," she said, glancing at her watch. "Ah, shoot—I have to go; I need to meet my sister to help her study for an English test." She rolled her eyes. "Procrastinating again. See you guys later!"
"Bye," McKenzie said, watching Jill skip away. She couldn't help smiling to herself as she did so, keeping her eye on the girl until she had disappeared from sight. Oh man… she is so adorable. Her thoughts were disrupted by Frank, who began "hoo-hoo"-ing a bit loudly for McKenzie's comfort. "Shut up!" she snarled, whacking him with a heavy notebook and giving him a sour look.
"Awww, you loooove her!" Frank teased in a sing-song voice, loud as he dared since they were now the only ones in the hallway. "You sooo want to DO her!"
McKenzie now used the same notebook to smack herself in the face. "Ugh, I can't believe this is happening to me!"
"You do, you so want her," Frank tittered, unable to contain his nearly malicious glee. "Naked and in bed, so you can screw her brains out! You want her pussy so bad—you wanna lick it 'til you make her eyes roll back in her head, you crazy dyke!" As McKenzie got more and more red in the face, Frank could not contain another peal of loud, obnoxious laughter. "You've got it so bad, I can tell you've been fantasizing about it, little Jill Shovet screaming your name to the skies in the throes of passion!"
"I swear to God, Frank, if you don't shut up…!"
"Whatcha gonna do, Kenzie?" He laughed loudly again as McKenzie sighed in frustration and ran a hand through her hair. "I can't believe this! You! You, of all people, falling head-over-heels for an underage straight girl! I mean granted, she's pretty cute, but still …it's just a waste of time and energy!"
"Frank, if—for some reason—you like your face the way it is, you'll shut up now." McKenzie frowned and bit one of her nails, wondering why she was getting so red-faced. Frank's jokes never used to get to her so much. "I don't feel like she's straight. I think she likes me …I dunno, there's just something there."
Now it was Frank's turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, sure. She probably has noticed that you can't keep yourself from staring at those amazing jugs of hers."
Using the most dangerously low voice she could muster, McKenzie jabbed Frank in the chest and said, "First of all, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop speaking so crudely about her like that. And second of all, if you say anything so much as a word of this to her, I will personally see to it that you become a eunuch. Got me?" That finally seemed to have gotten Frank to shut up, but he was still wearing that obnoxious smile, which McKenzie tried her best to ignore as she went on. "I think if we just keep going on like this, it'll be okay. Going over to her house all the time… maybe her sister will eventually warm up to me, and then… well, maybe something will come of it."
But every day that McKenzie came over after school, Rachel had found a new facet of her personality to criticize, and to go running to her mother about. Accruing all these facts had led to Mrs. Shovet stopping by Jill's room while McKenzie was there, allegedly just to say to hello. But she always consciously left the door open after she'd moved along, as if she thought her daughter and McKenzie were doing something illegal in there. There was just one day, though, that Jill was waiting for. One day.
Friday, February the twenty-sixth. Mrs. Shovet would be gone on a business retreat; Zack had a play-date; it was Ben's birthday, so Rachel was off to prepare a party for him the second that school ended; and Mr. Shovet would not be home until at least six. This would leave the house alone to Jill and to McKenzie—finally, no intruding mother, no disparaging remarks from the sister, and no constantly being interrupted by the cute but intrusive Zack. At last, just some time alone…!
Which is why Jill felt her heart sink horribly when McKenzie apologized, "I can't come over today, little buddy! My grandparents just got into town, and if I'm not home to be with them, my mom will flip out."
Attempting miserably to hide her disappointment, Jill said, "Oh, well, that's fine. It's really nice of you to be doing that, actually."
She ought to have learned by now to never say things in front of Frank, because he had just started to guffaw loudly. "Aw, look at little Jill!" he snickered. "She's so heartbroken! Awww, Kenzie, how could you be so mean?!"
"Frank, don't be a jerk!" McKenzie scowled, slapping his shoulder. "Honestly, you're creeping her out!" She herself tried to assess Jill's countenance, searching for any clues of a letdown—and didn't have to look very hard. "Okay," she said. "You know what, they could last a little while without me. There's a phone by my locker, I'll just go and call them to say I got a little hung up on something." Thoughtful pause. "I'll tell them I got detention. They'll believe that."
"Oh, McKenzie, you don't have to do that—"
"Please! I'd way rather hang out with you than get stuck with them."
Jill couldn't believe her luck as she walked into her empty house with McKenzie right behind her—a bit later than she'd expected, because McKenzie had stopped on the way over to stare at the remains of a squirrel that had been run over in the street. She could be a little macabre like that sometimes, but Jill loved that about her. McKenzie saw art in everything, even though she claimed not to be able to create it herself.
"Hey, what's this?" McKenzie asked once they had gone into Jill's room. She picked up a book that Jill tried to kick under her bed. "Aha, a sketchbook! Interesting." Lifting the book out of Jill's desperate, swinging reach, McKenzie opened it to the first page. "Whoa," she muttered. "You drew this?"
"Yes, but please, give it back!" Jill said, as McKenzie continued to flip through the pages. "Stop!"
"Oh, you know you don't want me to," McKenzie teased her, taking off her beret and tossing it at Jill to distract her. "Geez, Jill, you—AWW!" She burst out into delighted laughter as Jill winced, knowing what drawing she must have came upon. "It's me and Frank! You old softie, when did you do this?!"
Trying to keep herself from going red, Jill replied, "I dunno, just the other day, I guess. I usually bring that book with me to school, and I just got really bored in English class, so I was just, I dunno, sketching. I liked your outfit that day."
"Yeah? What else do you like, little Jill?"
"What? Oh, I don't know…"
"Yes you do! Come on, that's one of the first things I ever talked to you about. You asked me what I liked and I told you. Now it's your turn."
Jill took a deep breath and finally sat down on the bed next to McKenzie. "Okay, well, I like to draw, I guess. I really like painting. I like movies, and the park, and dogs. I like thinking about what I'll do when I grow up." Noticing that McKenzie had now slackened her grip on the sketchbook, Jill quickly snatched it up, laughing, "A-ha! I like swiping my own stuff back from my friends!"
But just then, she noticed a small slip of paper that had fluttered out of the sketchbook as she'd closed it. Recognizing it immediately, she reached out for it, but McKenzie's slender fingers reached it first. She opened up the note to find the phone number and kiss mark Jill had discovered a few weeks previously. With no consideration for Jill's embarrassment, McKenzie let out a whooping laugh.
"That was your locker?!" she cried out.
"Wait…" Jill's dark blue eyes widened. "Did you put it there?"
Laughing so hard she couldn't speak, McKenzie nodded weakly. Eventually she got a hold of herself, but she seemed to have trouble breathing as she explained, "It was part of the game! 'See What They Do!' Frank dared me to slip this into someone's locker and see if they would call me!" She finally seemed to have calmed down, but was still chuckling weakly. "Man, I can't believe that was your locker!"
There was very little Jill felt like she could say to this. How horribly mortifying! McKenzie would soon come to the realization that Jill had pathetically clung onto this scrap of paper, this little footnote of Frank's game that meant nothing to McKenzie whatsoever. She tried to laugh weakly along, but just felt so… so caught, that she was entirely unable of producing a convincing façade.
Finally sobering up, McKenzie's smile faded as she realized how stupid Jill must feel. "It's really cute that you kept it though," she said, trying to lighten the mood. She felt bad that Jill was too self-conscious to look her in the face, so McKenzie bit her cheek and then gently used her index finger to tilt Jill's chin towards her. "I'm not lying to you, either," she said. "I mean, look at my lipstick—it's the same shade." She chuckled lightly when Jill averted her gaze again. "Oh, come on, Jill! I'm not going to bite you! …I mean, unless you're into that sort of thing…"
That caught Jill's attention. She barely had time to even move her head when McKenzie slowly pulled her own legs up onto the bed and placed one hand firmly on the sheets on either side of Jill's body. Too petrified to move, Jill sat frozen in anticipation as McKenzie placed one hand on Jill's back and went in for a kiss. It was very awkward, mostly because Jill did absolutely nothing, far too shocked at what was going on to even fully register it. Is she kissing me? Oh my Lord Jesus Christ in heaven, she is kissing me! Do something! Jill could almost feel herself starting to sweat as McKenzie, after sucking on Jill's upper lip one more time, finally pulled away.
There was a very long, very uncomfortable silence as Jill, trembling, stared back at McKenzie, who was starting to look a little nervous herself. "Wh… what did you do that for?" Jill heard herself ask in a terrified, quivering whisper.
The room was starting to get unbearably hot. "Just wanted to see what you'd do, I guess," McKenzie answered in a hollow voice.
She made to get up, when Jill suddenly grabbed McKenzie by the shoulders and brought her back down, kissing her—hard. It felt as if Atlas was lifting the burden of the world off Jill's back; here was somebody who she could finally be her true self around, finally able to indulge in the repressed desire she had been harboring for so long. Her inexperience was painfully obvious, and perhaps the reason why she could feel McKenzie smiling as she kissed her. But at least McKenzie didn't stop: she was ravenous, pushing Jill up against the wall and nearly straddling her. Jill had never in her life felt so stimulated or excited as McKenzie kissed her jaw line, her neck, her mouth again; gripping her hair, her waist, her thigh. The air felt too thick to breathe in, which is what accounted for the heavy gasp that Jill took in once McKenzie had let up.
"Did you really not know?" McKenzie breathed.
"What do you mean?"
"All my not-so-subtle hinting…?"
"I thought you were just teasing me!"
McKenzie had to chuckle at that one. "Oh, you poor, sweet, naïve kid!" She took Jill's face in her hands and their foreheads touched, but McKenzie was too tickled to kiss her again. Instead, she said, "I really wanted to say something to you that first day, Jill. I'd seen you a couple of times around school, and I thought …I thought you were really cute. And so that one time in physics class, you were asking me what things I liked, and I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from telling you that …I like girls." Pause. "A lot."
Jill smiled nervously. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Why didn't you tell me?" McKenzie shot back. She got an embarrassed silence as an answer. "Yeah. I thought so. Uh, Jill…" She cleared her throat. "Ask me it again."
It took Jill a moment to get what she was supposed to say. Once she got it, a broad, bashful smile covered her face. "Okay, McKenzie Conner. What do you like?"
The answer was almost immediate: "You. I really, really, really like you."
Validation. Jill leaned forward and rested her hand on McKenzie's cheek, going in for another kiss—softer, slower this time. Oh, man. I could really get used to this!