Park Bench

It was getting late. The crescent moon was partly hid behind purple clouds, but the sky was relatively clear besides. There were a few stars in the sky, forming several constellations. There was a slight breeze and it was on the humid side, it being a natural thing for summer.

The two were walking side by side down the suburban sidewalks, lit up by the neon signs of restaurants and shops that were to be open for at least another hour or so. They were both caught up in many unexpressed thoughts, feelings, and words.

He tried to get a glimpse of her eyes and that smile he had grown to so naturally cherish. They were so familiar to him; he felt like he had known her forever. He felt – no, he knew – deep within him that she would be his wife someday. Yet, every time he asked her out, she refused him. Yet something drew him closer to her, something which caused him to persevere and pursue her, despite the setbacks. He was afraid, though, that she perhaps had other plans; he tried not to be, but he often got jealous when she saw her talking to another man, or talking about another man. Why should he be jealous? He had no claim to her – she was free to choose for herself.

It had been several months since the last time he asked her. As the day was coming to a close, he became more and more nervous. Should he do it now? She was his best friend; he could tell her anything, anything – she knew him, good, bad, ugly, indifferent. Everything – he had given her everything. And he knew her equally as well. Why shouldn't he try? He already knew what the worst could be.

"How about here?" she asked suddenly. She was pointing to a restaurant – ah yes, that's right, they had decided to get dinner. He had gotten so caught up in his thoughts he forgot what they were doing.

"Sure," he said, attempting to overcome his nerves. "Anywhere you like."

"Ok," she said with a smile, looking at him with her blue eyes. Such endless eyes! They were all warmth and kindness and reminded him of everything beautiful and pure in the world.

They were seated in the restaurant. He looked over the menu but already knew he was going to get pizza, so it didn't matter. He couldn't read it anyway. Should he ask now? No, no, he'll wait until after they order. Or maybe he should wait until after they leave, then she could say yes or no privately. But who was he kidding? The restaurant had only three waitresses, and there was an elderly couple eating breadsticks on the other side of the restaurant. There was practically no one here.

The waitress came and took their order and collected the menus. Now he had nothing to look forward to except she whom he loved across from him.

"I haven't been here in a while," she said. "We used to come here when I was a kid. I forget why we stopped coming; I think there was an incident with the food. Ok, so I guess I do remember after all," she said with a laugh. He laughed slightly, his mind still seeking out the perfect opportunity to ask. Now? No, not yet.

"Your town is really nice," he said casually. "It's really pretty."

"Thanks, but I didn't do the decorating – I just live here," she said with a smile. He couldn't help but smile. "My favorite time to go for a walk in it, though, is at sunset, just when the light hits all the grass and the leaves and makes them shine like gold. It's so colorful, it makes me so happy."

"I'm glad I got to see that with you today," he said. Perhaps now?

"Yeah, me too," she said, looking down, but smiling. She was shy; it attracted him more. Maybe now? Yes, now, he'd ask – but just then, the waitress came with their food. Ok, so it'd be later.

After they ate, he insisted on paying the bill.

"You're my guest – you can't pay for me every time!"

"But I insist."

"How about I get tip then? Let me pay something!"

"Fine, you can get tip, but that means I get to pay next time as well."

"You're ridiculous," she said, putting out money for the tip. "You don't have to pay, you know."

"But I want to."

She didn't look up, but turned a slight shade of red.

After they left, he knew he was running out of time. Would he ask her tonight? Or would he wait?

"The stars look so pretty," she said, looking up.

"Yeah, they do," he said, briefly looking up, but stealing a side glance at her.

"I wish they looked like this every night."

"Me too."

She sighed. They walked in silence for a short time. His heart was racing, begging him to ask her.

"Are you ok?" she asked, looking at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Better than fine, actually," he said, looking in her eyes for a second. She noticed in them something, and looked away. His heart pounded in his chest.

They found themselves passing through the park. It was a shortcut to her house.

"I'm really glad I got to spend today with you," he said.

"Me too," she said with a smile.

Should he ask? He was running out of time to ask. His mouth was dry and he was nervous.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"You're unusually quiet."

"Am I?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. I didn't notice."

"Well, as long as you're ok…"

"Yeah."

He could ask now! He should! They were getting past a park bench.

"Do you want to sit down?" he asked.

"No. Why? Do you?"

"No, I'm just asking."

"Oh. Well, no, I don't. But… actually, it looks kind of pretty there. Maybe. Yeah. But only for a little bit."

He was going crazy. He loved her, so much – that was all he wanted to tell her. She inspired the best in him.

They sat down at the bench, overlooking a still pond. The moon was reflected on the water.

"This is just like a movie," she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I know," he said. Now? Yes, ask now!

"Speaking of movies," he said lamely, "uhh… well, I might as well say it…yeah."

She sat very still, looking straight ahead. She was paralyzed.

"You know I like you, and I've liked you a while."

"Yup."

This was going smoothly. Not.

"And well, I've asked you before, but you've always said no, and I'll understand if you don't want to this time, either. But I have to tell you…"

His sympathetic nervous system was in overdrive – his mouth was dry, his heart was pounding, and his adrenaline was racing. He gathered up the courage to look at her. He fought the impulse to grab her hands…but he decided it would be better if he did. He tentatively reached for them, and gently took them in his own.

"I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable, but I think it's better I tell you this looking straight in your eyes."

She looked away, across the pond, but slowly looked over to him. She saw his eyes and was terrified and at once intrigued. He gathered his courage.

"I love you. You are the only person I've ever loved in my life. You inspire so much good in me – I can't describe what you've done for my life. What I was before you is only a shadow of what I am now. I can't tell you what you mean to me – you're everything. Just… everything. And…" he took a breath in. "I thought it would be worth a try to ask again, even if you say no – I understand why you'd say no. I know I'm not the best guy around, but I love you nonetheless, and you know me. Would you…?"

He couldn't say anything else. He sat in anticipation. *(to alternate ending)

She sat frozen. What would she say? No one had ever loved her so completely, nor stood by her in everything, good or bad. He wasn't perfect, but she knew him realistically – she supposed she might love him.

"Well," she said. "I think I love you, too, but… I have so many fears. I'm afraid I'll be wrong again – I'm afraid I'll be deceived, hurt, let down, left behind, left alone. I'm afraid you're insincere, but I know you're not – every relationship has its risks. I have to learn to trust. I think you could be the one to teach me. I see so much – you expand my view. I see I can't expect to go through life unhurt, or perfectly undeceived. If I am hurt or deceived, it is better than hurting others and deceiving others or myself to prevent heartache. I see so much now, like I said – I think, maybe, we could make a good team. I'm willing to give it a shot; and if we're wrong, we're wrong, and it'll be ok."

"So that's a yes?" he said, feeling a surge of joy.

"Yeah," she said, laughing and looking away.

He smiled and couldn't say anything.

"Ah, you – come here," he said, giving her a hug. She laughed. They sat there together for a while, then walked home, talking in their excitement and joy.

*And there he would remain, forever, because the grandpa from the pizza place jumped out of the bushes and said, "BREADSTICKS!" and threw one at his head and killed him.
The end.