You know what? I'm playful right now, so I'll ignore the fact that the reason you didn't get that I understood was because you didn't read my poem. That's okay, that's okay. You're busy. You have your own poems. I didn't read those either, not that you showed me. And I'm happy anyway because I see myself in you. I see my potential. But I also see something I can beat. You became something I want to beat. I do, in fact, believe I will one day overcome you. Become a force greater than yourself. But I also see the potential you don't use. And that's amazing how you still have strength.

I'm going to put this in a place where I know you could see it. But I'm not worried. It's not like you will. I'm okay with that, because as I said, I'm in a playful mood. I want to have fun. I want to become big. Large. Worthy. Even if you don't see. You do, but you don't. You'd understand. You're that kind of guy. But you won't see this, so there's no point in pretending. I'm strong. I fight. I admire you. I also pity you. It disgusts me that I have that emotion. No one wants pity. The only people who want pity don't deserve it anyway. I don't want pity. You don't pity me, which is part of the reason I like you so much. Still, I must keep my darker emotions in tact. Not destroy. I don't want to get rid of emotions, even if they're destructive. Besides, who ever succeeded in destroying emotion? No one. You'd tell me to keep those poisonous thoughts anyway. They're healthy, in a sense. They keep the balance of the mind. That's my line, mind you.

You also admire parts of me. You like some of my wording. Other times you'll fight me on it. You make me think. That's amazing. I feel so alive! My mind buzzes, thinking of new responses and quick retorts. I get to defend my position on an intellectual level. You don't treat me like some dumb kid. You see my potential and test it. You treat me like an adult. That's wonderful. Sometimes, it's annoying. Sometimes I just want to scream. Sometimes you make me feel like a complete idiot. That's sometimes okay. I need to be knocked off my pedestal. Other times I want to knock you off a cliff. Those dark feelings again.

You are very blunt, candid, and honest. I'd go to you to ask if an idea of mine would work. I don't always, however, because I must learn to live on my own. I can't become a force stronger than you if I still ask you to solve my problems. I will still ask your opinion. You still ask for mine, after all. That's a test all on its own.

I'm still in the mood for some fun. I want some witty banter, some playful shoves and smirks in small victories. You are not giving that to me, so I have to amuse my mind in other forms. I like to wish I could find someone who I could love, who will test me like you, but who isn't as big of a jerk. You aren't a big jerk, we just aren't compatible. You would understand that, too. But you're not here, so I don't worry.

I say these things directed towards you, who will not read this. All other readers might be hopelessly lost. If you read this, and it wasn't written by myself, and it wasn't written for you, you would send this file to me and ask me for my thoughts on it. What do I think? What is the author feeling? Why? Well, I'd tell you something close, but not quite the correct answer. Then you'd tell me what you think, but what is most likely the truth. Maybe you'd try to over explain this. I understand things. You don't need to elaborate. Even if I do love the sound of your voice.

I'm tricky, aren't I? I'm saying vague things that may or may not be true. I may even sound like a condescending buttwipe. That would not be the first time. You know that, I know that, and they know that. You know the "they," correct? I thought so. I also think that you go to sleep too early. We've been through this before, but my position still stands. That was one of the few discussions where you didn't convince me otherwise of my original intention. You are really quite smooth.

Thinking of smooth, I still haven't met your girlfriend. Bummer, I think to myself, sometimes. I wish I knew the girl that potentially might capture your heart. You're afraid of that though, aren't you? Don't think I don't see that. You're afraid of losing you. Don't worry. I'm afraid of that, too. I don't want to have something so precious carried with someone who is not me. However, you still date. I wonder how close you and that girl really are. I find some enjoyment that I will always be in your life. I take pleasure that she is not the first girl you've dated. It makes me feel superior. Oh, but I'm sure she's a nice girl. She is with you. She must be responsible. That's what I believe. I think I'd like her.

You are the closest thing I've ever had to an older brother. You are intolerable at times, and you know how to induce my ire. Yet, you silly person, you make me feel protected. I feel stupid- no, naïve- for saying this, but I have a silly fantasy of you being the big brother who'd protect me. I fantasize that would ruin any guy who is inappropriate with me. I knew it was illogical.

I wrote that last part in confidence that you would forget you had to read my other story. You said you'd read it. If you do, you might see the little link to this story as well. Then you'd see my thoughts. That wouldn't be the first time I've opened the door to my mind. Come in, come in. I trust that you wouldn't do something so horrible as to remember my silly little story. Come on, come on.