The First Facedown

We beat the police. We crushed the Mounties. And we smashed the Canadian Yetis. But I think we've met our match.

Standing somewhere in Canada, looking bravely forward, staring at the 3,000 troops of the Canadian Rogue Army Powers (CRAP). Yes, it seems unbelievable. But it's true. Canada actually has an army. And they really want to kill us. Apparently Canadian Yetis are an endangered species and it's illegal to kill them. (Or in my case, turn them into chocolate.)

We are finding it difficult not to laugh right now. You see, they have this battle cry that is supposed to intimidate enemies. It doesn't work so well. It is: "EH! WE ARE CRAP! EH WE CRAP! CRAP KILLS CRAP KILLS EH WE ARE CRAP!"

See what I mean? Oh, someone just shot at us. But Uber deflected it. LET'S FIGHT! WHOO HOO!

Zoom! Boom! Whap! Uber picks them up, them slams 'em down hard! Awesome's over there blowing them to pieces with lasers. And I have cleverly piled up some rocks to hide myself from view. That's because I don't want them to get mad at me because I'm not doing anything. Which is actually not true. I've taken down a lot of guys. But I'm eating them. Now don't get mad at me for being cannibalistic, because once I turn them into chocolate they're technically not human. So I'm chowing down on chocolate soldiers.

Wow, that was fast. In five minutes we took out an army. And I feel really sick. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll let Awesome take over the story while I'm gone. BRB homeys!

Whew, he's gone! He's such an idiot! Uber and I did all the work while he went all cannibalistic! Sicko. Now he's getting what he deserves. He's puking his guts out over there while me and Uber are happily waiting for him. Ah, man he's back. Maybe I'll convince him to let me write this sometime…

So I'm back. Just in time to say bye until next chapter. BYE!

End of Chapter, uh, I need to get a calculator real quick…

SNUGGLES! IT'S FOUR!

Oh, right. Hee hee.

End of Chapter Four