A recent discovery concludes that piñatas are ALIVE. Therefore, we can conclude that they don't like it when they are thumped, smacked, pummeled, smashed, beat, mashed, etc. by snot nosed brats with sticks (no offense if you happen to be one of those snot nosed brats).

The Sad Piñata

(WARNING! GRAPHIC)

The piñata named P was sad. Another one of his cousins had been beat until his many organs spilled out and were swallowed by the carnivorous devils. Life hanging off a ceiling in Wal-mart was very dangerous. A person could suddenly walk in and purchase your mother. Speaking of which...

"I'll get that one," a man said pointing next to P.

"OK, I'll get it down for you," replied the employee.

P looked up in terror. The outrageously fat man was pointing at his mother. The mother piñata was taken down. P could already see his mother being hit with bats by snotty 5 year olds until her candy insides fall out and are eaten by the evil yet happy birthday boy/girl/it. A tootsie roll tear dropped from P's purple eye.

He decided right there that he would not be beat by toddlers and then just mercilessly thrown away after half of him had been eaten. He had lost too many brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents and everything in between for this to happen to him to. He was done having his heart crushed until all that remained was a crusty little layer surrounded by candy. He was no longer sad P. He is Mad P. And he needs REVENGE! (That may not sound scary but angry pinatas can be pretty brutal.)

End of Chapter 1