Dislaimer: just a random thought stream of conciousness kind of story. R/r

Chapter 1

The day that we met was just like any other. The clouds swirled overhead and the darkness was a pressing reminder that the sun was once again gone for another year. I mourned the sun. At least with the sun out, it wasn't so completely fucking depressing. But whatever. And who was I kidding anyway, Im a depressed person. I revel in the darkness and the stories of vampires drinking blood that gushed from the throats of their victims. I call them the messy vampires. The ones that play with their food.

But I digress. Or something.

Anywho… once again, the day we met was a depressing, cloudy, rain threatening reminder of messy vampires.

I was outside behind my house, totally obscured by a copse of pine trees, melancholy as usual and thinking about razor blades that glowed red in candlelight and the sickly sweet, metallic taste of blood when all of a sudden he was there.

Just magically appeared in front of me like some recently returned angel of darkness. And man, was he the sexiest thing I had ever seen. His dark eyes glowed and his smirk told me that sarcasm was the usual tone of his voice. His hair was a dark, dirty blond and the shortness of it spoke volumes as to the fact. that his hair rarely if ever glimpsed his ears before being whacked off haphazardly.

He wore a pair of denim shorts that hit him about the knees, a pair of white shoes and a button down dark blue t shirt. I don't think these were his normal clothes though because he swept into a bow that desperately needed a top hat and said in a sultry voice, "Miss Muffit."

I was thinking WTF? When all of a sudden he was gone. And not a leaf or a blade of grass disturbed by his presence.

I sat there in shock and once again thought wtf. Didn't know who he was, where he came from or anything and then he calls me Miss Muffit and just up and disappears on me. Fucking bastard. Who in the hell did he think he was. Popping in here like that and scaring little ol' me into a nervous breakdown.

And then didn't even have the common decency god gave a termite to tell me his name. Psssht. But whatever. Just try and forget about him. There was no significance to the fact that Satan just popped up outta nowhere and disturbed my boredom.

And then it decided to start raining. Woo hoo. Absolutely perfect day now. What in the hell could make this better?

My mom started hollering then. She never lets me stay out past sprinkle this time of year, anyway, so I was expecting that. Maybe that's why I walked ever-so-slowly back to the house. My sluggish pace had nothing to do with Satan. Or at least, I didn't think it did. But I could be wrong. Im not entirely sure where the back of my mind is anyway. It could be in Russia for all I know, drinking vodka and carousing with the natives.

But anywho, I went into the house and did what I was supposed to. Didn't say anything to my mom about the mysterious asshole in the woods. She wouldn't believe me anyway so why waste my breath.

Should've though. Maybe if I had wasted my breath I might still have breath to waste.