12Okay! obviously writing this took longer than usual. My inspiration went missing for a few days since I found out I wont be going to college this fall so Ive just been a little depressed and moping around but I think its back now so hopefully I'll update sooner! Reviews always help a person write faster and better! *hint hint*...I love your comments and those of you who want to read this, it makes me happy, yay! I seriously felt I had no life and was like 'what am i supposed to do till next semester?!' when college went out the door but this gives me something to do so, love to all who read and review! ^^ Its not to long so, enjoy!
He bought it. I cant believe he bought it.
After a minute, or maybe more, of making out, I gave him the dress and went to put my clothes back on. I came out to find him no where in sight. I searched the department store and found him at the cash register... paying for the dress as soon I spotted him! I almost ran over three people as I bolted out the door of the shop. I wouldn't be caught dead with him and that dress in public! Once outside, I waited next to the car, heaving with anger and embarrassment, but I still couldn't help a smile from forming on my face..
If someone from the future went into the past and told me I was going to one day, fall in love with a man named Tommy who would bring me the greatest joy of my life, I probably would have never believed them. Even after I met Tommy for the first time, I still wouldn't have believed it. How on earth would someone like him, ever want to be with some one like me? I also would have laughed it off, saying I wasn't even thinking about dating yet. I was only 9 after all!
The first time I saw Tommy was at Cassedie's 12th birthday party. It was a pool party at our grandparents. I don't know why she invited Tommy or how she knew him, seeing as how he was two years younger than her, but anyways. When it was announced that Cassidie was throwing a pool party, I almost wanted to kill myself. I hated pool parties. Pool parties meant bathing suits, which meant me being half naked in front of, well, everyone that knew my sister.
Even at such a young age, I disliked my body, for obvious reasons. It was a guys body. It was narrow and bony, not curvaceous and lean, like the bikini models in my dads porn- er ladies magazine collection.
I could have just said I didn't want to go. I could have even waited till that very day and told my parents I didn't feel well. They could care less about what I did. I could have just flat out told them the real reason why I disliked pool parties. But Cassedie was my closest sister, she had always been, and I couldnt just turn down her birthday like that.
She wasn't to girly and liked hanging out with guys and watching sports; stuff like that. She would poke fun at Julia and Emily, calling them stuck up preps and then she would come to me, asking if I wanted to play video games or something. I always agreed because she was always nice to me. Before Tommy came along, she was my life line.
"So, which one, red or orange?" she asked me, a few hours before her said party. It was her bathing suit. Everything was ready for the big event except her outfit and she entrusted me in the decision making of that.
"Um..put the red one on again?" I said, curiously. We had done this for quite awhile now. She would stick by my side and let me play with her unwanted dolls and things in exchange for my great fashion out look. It was a great deal if you asked me.
She let out an annoying sigh and went back into the bathroom for the sixth time, changing into the red bikini. She walked out and posed. It looked like any other bikini, cut low at the hips and revealed way too much chest that she had prematurely developed. But the color contrasted her pale skin amazingly and I nodded as she walked out.
"That one" I said. She smiled and turned around to look at herself in the mirror. I watched her, envying her body. Not in a sexual way, just in my messed up 'I wanna look like that..' way. She flipped her short brown hair over her shoulder's and did a few poses in the mirror, each time she would sigh and flip her hair again. Why was she getting so worked up over her looks anyways? She usually never did.
"So whats so special about this party that makes you have to get all worked up over a bathing suit?" I inquired, picking up the orange bathing suit and rubbing it in my hands. It had brown beads as straps and was pretty, but the orange color washed out her skin to much.
"Nothing-
I stopped writing. I couldn't write any more, not with that dress on my mind. We were home now, Tommy watching TV and me writing, or trying to. The dress was hanging up on the door handle of our closet. Just sitting there, taunting me to come and put it on.
"Why did you do that?" I frowned, looking up from my writing to Tommy, who was munching down on popcorn. I had decided to write about my first encounter with Tommy when I got home, but my mind kept drifting to that question. Why did he buy that dress without asking me?
"Do what?" He said, innocently, shoving some popcorn in his mouth. I stared at him, sending him an evil glare. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He laughed and almost choked on some popcorn, making me bust out laughing as well.
"Really, Tommy, why? You could have at least forewarned me so I wouldn't look like a complete fool running out of there." I said, recovering from my attack and taking a handful of popcorn myself.
"I know, I know...I'm sorry" He said solemnly "I just couldn't help it, you looked so pretty, I had to buy it, so I could... see you like that again." he said the last part almost longingly, studying a piece of popcorn in his hand.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Happy" He looked at me, smiling softly. Happy? I looked back at him blankly, until he turned to the TV. Did I really get that excited over a dress? Or rather, was it that obvious that I was?
"And you didn't have to bolt out of there like you did, you know. Its not like anyone knew you, or even knew that we were there together." He snickered.
"Oh, shut up" I snapped, punching him in the shoulder. "You know I can't help it, I'm...to afraid." I said, gazing out the window. It was raining. Great. Winter was on its way..
"I know" he sighed. "I just wish you'd give them a chance" Im watching rain trickle down the window and don't fully process what he's said. A.. what?
"A chance? What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively. He didn't respond.
"What? Do you think everyone's like you and will except me no matter what?" I laughed. I was a little angry now, I don't exactly know why, though.
"Tommy?" But maybe I shouldn't have..
"No, Haden I'm not that conceited..." he said slowly. It was happening again. He was trying to help me but I ignored the offer, taking it offensivley.
"Then why? Why do you do this? Do you enjoy humiliating me?" What the hell? Why am I saying these things? Its my anger, its taking over. I feel stupid because I know he's right.
"No! God, I just want you for once, to just try and be yourself around others...!" He retorted, looking almost offended. I know he wasn't trying to be mean, but suddenly his words.. hurt. The anger left and sadness overwhelmed me. I stared at him, my mouth open ready to say something but no words came. Finally he looked away but I continued to stare.
He just sat there, not watching the television anymore. He was staring into his lap, a sad expression on his face. I didn't know what to do. Why had I gotten so angry?
'I know you do.. I want to too...I just...I'm weak, I'm so weak! All I think about is myself! I'm so selfish!' I think, wanting so bad for the words to spill from my mouth, but they don't... all I can think is..
"Your right..." I say slowly. He doesn't look up.
I finally tear my eyes away from him and look at the notebook in my hand. I..
"Here..." I almost whisper, holding the notebook out to him, my hand shaking just the tiniest bit. He looks at me and then the notebook. His face grows still and then he takes it.
'That's why...' I think to myself. 'Its all in there, that stupid little notebook.' I get up. I feel my eyes stinging. Im such a fool. Im so weak. Im so weak that I cant even admit I am. I go to the closet and quickly change into a long t-shirt. Its Tommy's and it smells like him... I head for the door.
"Where're you going.." Tommy asks from behind.
"I don't know..." I say shakily and head downstairs, shutting the door behind me.
Once I get to the bottom of the stairs, my knees give out and I collapse onto the floor, tears finally escaping from my eyes. I sit there, leaning against the wall, sobbing and hugging myself like a baby. I'm so...Im so stupid.
~~~Im chained down. I feel cold sweat pouring down my face. or maybe its..
'What's holding me down..?' I look around. Nothing. Blackness. Dreadful emptiness. I can't move and I'm just lying here.
'why...'
I look around. No ones there. But I hear a voice and its not recognizable.
'why...' it says again.
'I don't know why!' I scream. Tears stream down my face. I look down at my legs. There tingling. And...there gone. Blood. Im covered in blood. Then, its gone. Light overcomes me. My skin dries and I breathe in slowly. Something is filling inside of me..something nice...but what.. ~~~
I wake up in our bed suddenly, sunlight beaming in onto my face, warming it. I rub my eyes, which are still puffy and red from crying. What an odd dream...I'm on my back and roll to my side, not expecting to face the person lying there next to me.
"Hey.." Tommy whispers, brushing the tiniest bit of hair out of my eyes. I smile but instantly sadness overcomes me as I recollect last nights events.
"I'm sorry.." I start, but he cuts me off, putting his index finger onto my lips. His eyes don't quite meet mine but I still try and look into them.
"No, don't be, it was me, I shouldnt force things like that on you..." he says quietly "You are who you are and what you choose to do in private or public is your decision. Its not my job to make you change..." he finishes. This has happened before but it always ends the same. Him being right and me being to much of a wuss to just try and do what he's suggesting. To just admit it.
His finger has left my lips and I take his hand in mine. I still want to cry and I don't know why. Maybe its because, he's just so...perfect. I cant hold it in anymore, and a tear escapes from my eye.
"Why are you so good to me" I whisper. He smiles and wipes the tear away, then pulls me into a hug, kissing my forehead.
"Because I love you" He says softly pausing and then he chuckles "And because your such a girl sometimes" I laugh against his neck. He knows me so well...I am though. What guy cries about a small fight like ours?
"Why thank you" I giggle, continuing to smile against his neck, taking his scent in. We lay there for a moment, in silence. Its calm now and my mind has cleared. Theres an 'A' on his shirt and I trace over it with my finger. I then remember my story.
"So what did you think" I say, playing with his shirt some more "Of my life story, or biography as you put it." I dont like that word, not to describe my story at least. Its to... normal. Not really fitting for my life, ya' know?
He's quite for a minute and I start to think maybe he read something in there that he didnt know before. I'm pretty sure I didnt get into my deep dark secrets yet, did I?
"Was it that bad?" I joke, tyring to look up at him but its hard to when he has me in such a tight bear hug.
"No it wasnt bad, it was...reminiscent, if that makes sense" he says calmly. So it brought back memories for him just like it did for me. I wonder if they were the painful ones...
"Good" I say, not letting myself continue to think. "That was my goal" He smiles and pulls me tighter. I sigh and take the warmth from him in. Its so nice, so nice to be like this... soon my eyes are drooping and I almost fall asleep again. Just as my eyes are about to close, I see the 'A' on his shirt again and I...
"Oh my God! Alvin!" I shout, jumping up and almost knocking Tommy in the face with my knee. I flip over to the nightstand searching for Tommy's watch.
"What time is it!?" I almost scream "Wheres your watch?"
"Here! Im wearing it, its 9:44, I thought you didnt have to be in till 12 today?" he says, getting up with me. "What's the matter!"
"Oh no, ahhh! I told Alvin I'd be in at 9 today! Oh my God, I cant believe this! Were supposed to be getting a drug test, oh no! Where are my clothes. My...tie." Im scrambling around the closet and room, grabbing my belongings and then I hurry into the bathroom.
"Oh, wow, um want me to call in for you?" Tommy shouts as I jump into my clothes and begin furiously brushing my hair and teeth.
"Y-yes, please! Thanks!" I say grabbing my bag and hurrying down stairs. This is bad, I'm so stuuupid! I get downstairs and of course! My car keys are no where in sight.
"Tommy! Where are my keys!" I shriek, running back and forth, through the kitchen and living room. Tommy comes down stairs, dressed already and has my cell phone in his hand. How is he so fast?
"Here" he says, shoving my phone at me "I'll take you" he decides and grabs his keys. I run after him and hop into the car. We speed down the highway and all I can think is, 'Im in so much trouble, Im in so much trouble, he's gonna be pissed, ohh...'
"Where have you been!?" Alvin hisses at me as I walk into my office. He can't go anywhere or do anything until I'm here so he's probably been bored out of his mind. Or rather worried out of his mind.
"Im sorry, Im soo sorry, I had a bad night and I overslept, Im sorry, really. Where's the kid and his family?" I ask, putting my stuff down and going to the mirror to straighten my tie and such.
"There waiting in the interrogation room now. You do realize you were supposed to be here an hour ago! They can turn down this drug test if they want to, too! You've wasted valuable time!" Alvin yells, making me flinch.
"I know! Im sorry! I promise I'll get the test!" I say exasperatedly. "Im going now, Ill be back in half an hour, promise!" I yell over my shoulder, slamming the door behind me. Oh God, I think I'm gonna be sick...
You know, kids who do drugs and drink and are all around losers, usually look one way while jocks and preps look another. Diego didn't look like a kid who did drugs or who even got near creeps like Alvin, not to be mean or anything. He looked popular. I'm not being stereotypical when I say this, I just know because, well... I'll explain that later.
Diego had short, curly, dark brown hair, and tan skin. He looked, well, hispanic, hence the name Diego. When I walked into the room, or stumbled actually, he had this big smirk on his face. His eyes were a dark, dark brown, almost black like his moms, who was standing next to him when I walked in.
"Sorry I'm so late" I said, trying to catch my breath. I must have looked like such a slob. Such a fool. Diego smirked even more and laughed under his breath before he looked to the floor. What a brat.
"My client does not have all day" Diego's lawyer, Mr. Haswell , said sourly, staring me down. I swallowed and stepped forward towards the table in the middle of the room.
"I know, I had a bad night" I continued "My apologies" I finished, sitting down and pulling out a few papers. "But please, lets not waste anymore time" I say, more persistently, motioning for Diego to sit across from me. Diego glanced over at Mr. Haswell, who nodded, and then he sat down.
"Ma'am" I said looking at Diego's mother "I'm sorry but this is between Diego and I, could you-"
"Oh stop it with your apologies" She huffed and left. A gust of wind flew through the room and settled an awkward silence. 'What a bitch...' I turn to face Diego, whose sitting across from me now, his lawyer behind him. There staring at me as I pull myself together. Usually Mr. Haswell would begin but...I guess I'll start..
"As you may have heard, I have requested a drug test from you. A drug test has become of crucial need in order to prove both of your stories true. The results will answer some questions that need to be resolved for both I and Mr. Haswell. Do you understand Diego?" I say glancing at his lawyer, then back at Diego. He remains silent, slouching in his chair just like Alvin did when I first met him.
"Diego?" I repeat, giving him a questioning look. I, too, don't have all day..
"My client has the right to remain silent and will do so for the time being" Mr. Haswell suddenly pipes in. He walks over and stands next to Diego. "If you may, please tell us what exactly it is you are trying to prove with this drug test?"
"That's confidential and you know it" I say sharply.
"Yes, but it helps smooth things over.." he says slowly.
"Not of importance right now" I say firmly. Why do I care what makes his case easier anyways? This guy is just playing games and I don't have time for it. What a dick. Man I have a potty mind today...
"Then I'm not doing it" Diego says quietly, speaking for the first time since I walked in. We both look at him, me in an impatient manner and Mr. Haswell in a 'Why the hell are you talking?' way. Mr. Haswell looks as if he's gone brain dead for a second but snaps back and leans on the table next to Diego.
"I'm sorry, what are you talking about, Diego?" He says, smiling an all to familiar smile. Its a fake one, my mother did them all the time. The type that don't quite reach your eyes as you try and cover up a mistake.
"Its not like we have anything to hide" He continues, patting Diego on the back and walking away. "Fine, Diego will do the drug test" he finishes, grabbing his brief case and coat. Diego rolls his eyes and grumbles
"When will you need it by?" Mr. Haswell asks.
"As soon as possible-" I start.
"Of course, we'll do it now, then. We can, cant we?" He says, smiling.
"Yes that would be great" I say, still a little confused.
"Alright, lets go Diego" Mr. Haswell says quickly. Diego stands up, an odd expression on his face. He follows slowly behind Mr. Haswell, glancing back at me before he exits the door. I'm left there still confused. I mean its a great thing for us, but still...Mr. Haswell was probably thinking the same as I. If Diego didn't want to take the test, it could mean he was hiding something and that wasnt good for his case.
I'm waiting outside of the test room now. The results should be done in a few minutes so I decided against going back to my office. I run the conversation from earlier through my head, trying to figure out what exactly set off Diego. He didn't seem to happy about being interrogated, let alone being tested for drugs. He could have been trying to hide the fact he did drugs..maybe his mother doesn't know?
If what Alvin said about Diego not buying them is true, then that means something else happened that night. And something that neither of them expected, from what I can tell. Honestly, Diego does not seem like the type to hang out with Alvin. Drug users don't mix well with preps. I know from experience. I wasn't ever a prep or a pot head, but I hey, I had my experiments with drugs and the likes...but that's not of importance now. Maybe I wasn't perfect. Well obviously your not. Great. Im talking to myself...
Maybe Diego isn't the only person whose involved in this. His mother seemed really pissed about being here. If it were my kid who had been raped, I would be here prosecuting the culprit 24/7. I wonder if Diego has a father. Well, duh, but one thats around a lot. Maybe I was right-
"Your results" I hear a woman's voice say. I look over and see a lady in a white coat, holding out a few papers towards me.
"Thanks" I smile, taking the papers from her. I don't look at the results though, I want to have Alvin with me.
"Well? What are the results?" Alvin asks, nearly knocking me over as I walk in the room.
"Hold on, hold on! I didn't look yet.." I snap, pushing him away from me. I sit in my chair and begin scanning the paper. Lots of numbers and medical lingo are at the top but then I see what I want.
"Well?" Alvin asks again, impatient now.
"He passed.." I say slowly. "But..." Wait...
"Told you!" Alvin says triumphantly "I knew that damn kid was lying...I was starting to think maybe I had been so high that Id imagined things, but I knew it...hey, wait, what did you say?" He stops suddenly. "What's wrong?"
"I...there's something else.." I say quietly. He looks at me confused.
"What?" he asks again, coming over next to me to look at the sheet. I stare at the sheet, a little taken back.
"He has HIV"
A.E.
Cliff hanger! Ok so this chapter was really messy when I finished and so I read and re read and re wrote it like 5 times because I couldn't focus on what I really wanted to happen. The fight between Haden and Tommy kinda just happened. I had to show how much Tommy wants Haden to be happy and also show Haden's problem with that and so I couldn't figure any way around it so the argument happened. O and im working on a few drawings of Tommy and Haden so look forward to those! till next time :)
Az-Zalzala - Oh thank you sooo much! first reviewer too! and i'm so glad you feel that way about Haden, that means I wrote about him just right! lol
Readings a game - ...thanks...? lol I knew you'd love my story! (..or else...)