2Once upon a time, there was a little blue mouse. Her name was Fredericka. Everyone called her Freddykins, though. One day, little Freddykins was taking a stroll through the trees, listening to the birds singing up above.
Then, all of a sudden, everything went silent.
At first, she didn't notice anything. But she soon realized that something was off. She stopped. And then... she heard it.
A cheery, lilting tune was floating among the foliage, putting her in a trance. Dazedly, she turned to her left and began moving forward again. After traipsing through the brush for a few minutes, she came to clearing.
In the middle, there stood a large, glorious tree. Branches spread out, reaching the edge of the clearing. Freddykins stopped.
The music stopped, as well. Freddykins snapped out of her trance and looked around, blinking, as if she had just woken up.
Up among the branches, Freddykins spotted a strange little man with a flute. He smiled down at her, his yellowed and rotting teeth sending a shiver of disgust down her back and all the way to the end of her tail. His smile widened even more, and he jumped down.
She stepped back with a mousy squeak. The man coughed and introduced himself.
"Hello, there, lovely. I be the Piper." Her eyes widened as she gasped. His magic was supposed to affect only those of rat descent.
Freddykins gulped, and told him so. "You're...you're only supposed to magic rats. I'm no rat! What did you do?"
He grinned again, "That was my old flute, love. This be the new and improved flute. It attracts all your common rodents. And some uncommon ones, now that I think of it...but that's beside the point."
"..Which is what, exactly?"
"Why...I'm in need of a lieutenant for my army."
She stared at him for a moment. "You need...a lieutenant...for your army."
"Yes."
"What the bloody heck do you want me to do about it?"
He shifted nervously. "Well. You see. I been hearing of a little blue mouse running around these parts lately, and I hear she...or...you, I guess...are fairly level-headed."
He paused, and she kept staring. He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Alright, I want you to be the lieutenant. Them rats are too finicky. And don't EVEN get me started on the squirrels."
Freddykins tried. She really did. But alas, she couldn't keep the laughter in. And oh, did she laugh. After several minutes of gasping for breath and clutching her sides, she calmed down enough to say, "What have you been smoking?"
He glared at her. "Not that it's any of your business, dear, but pot. So. Yes or no?"
She blinked at him. "What?"
He groaned in frustration. "Will you or will you not be my lieutenant?"
"You're not serious..." It was his turn to stare. "Oh. Wow."
He raised an eyebrow, but didn't speak. "Well...what do I get out of it?"
"Free dental, food everyday, ever-lasting camaraderie, and pie."
She looked at his teeth. "Is there a reason the dental is...free?"
The Piper smiled, showing his cavity-ridden, discolored teeth. "There might be. But it's free, nonetheless. So what do you say?"
The blue mouse cocked her head to the side, thinking. "What's the army for?"
"Taking over the Dominican Republic and Cuba, building atomic bombs, and threatening the rest of the world into submission."
"I want India."
"Excuse me?"
"I want India. You know. The country." She paused. "And Alaska."
His eyes lit up. "I'm assuming that means you'll take the position?"
"Do I get India and Alaska? Along with the other things you mentioned?"
He nodded.
"Then you assume correctly."
He jumped up, shouting, "Yes!"
She raised an eyebrow. "And I was thinking. Shouldn't you build the bombs somewhere other than on islands? I mean...honestly? The other world powers could just blow you to smithereens before you even got close to done. Then we'd be back to the beginning. Or dead. And I want India and Alaska, man. I can't have 'em if I'm dead."
"Hmm. That...actually makes sense. I see this will work out well."
Freddykins smiled. "Yes. Now. Get to summoning your army. We've got work to do." The Piper nodded, bringing his flute up to his lip as he began to play his tune again.