NEVER IN BLACK AND WHITE

What happened to the friendship we'll never really know

What happened to the trust we can never really say

After everything that happened it still only feels like yesterday

When we were all young children out playing in the sun

Whose fault was it that ended it all

Can we ever really say

All that I can offer you now is my sincerest apology

Should I be stopping here or would you like me to continue

Would you still want to read on or close the open window

I will not make excuses about our failed friendship

I can only offer you my side of the only story

Was there even a missed moment

Because I seemed to have missed it too

One day we were the closest

And the next we were all distant

Did we really have strong walls

Or were they just mirages

Did my frozen heart forget to love

Did it even forget to think

My life was a big mess and everything was blurred

It was all I could do to keep the tears from falling

Is it even possible to hide the pain from others

The only thing that seemed logical was to distance myself at once

Why force many others around me to feel the same hurt and pain

I couldn't deal with the thought of stealing their only childhoods

When I never had one to begin with

So I ran

Yes, the pain still hurt even after your hearts gone numb

There is no antidote, no remedy, no way to stop the pain

You can only move on and on

Try to forget the burning ache

Hold yourself together and nurse your bleeding arms

We may have been the closest

But my world had crumbled down

No walls we had held up together could withstand the foreign town

It only seemed right that I stopped ruining your only life

We only had one chance at it

I was determined to leave you with the best

No one deserved to feel my pain

My body numbing hurts

Do not blame yourself for this painful rift

Do not blame yourself at all

For the only one at fault today is the one who caused it all

Was it you or me or even someone else

This rift was meant to pass

I needed the new found space to sort out my broken heart

My heart was hid to numb the pain

To save you from this injustice

No one not you deserved such things

Such things would damn your soul

My heart was dark and yours was light

I wanted to keep it that way always

A friendship gone will never pass

It can always be rebuilt

Memories fade and photos rip

But won't be in black and white

Julie.