BITTER MEMORIES.

The only people that can hurt you are the ones that have your heart. I lost my heart once.

I still remember the day I first saw you,

You on the beach with your closest friends,

I spent the day looking at you,

And I wondered.

About your laugh, your smile, and hazel brown eyes.

Then that night, after light had fallen,

You came up to me, smiled, and said hi.

You sat down on that sand beside me,

You ignored the whispered laughs of my friends,

You simply stared into my eyes,

And I wondered.

Could this be true,

Could this be right,

Could I have found true love,

This very night.

So we traded phone numbers,

You and I,

I liked the sound of those words,

It had been so long since I had said them.

I told you not to call too late,

But you called me that very night,

I tried to sound angry,

You knew that I was pleased,

And I wondered.

How did this angel know,

That I was starved of love,

How did this angel find me in the dark void of my life,

Now that my only light had gone out.

I was convinced you were my angel,

My only gift from god,

I was sure that you were perfect,

And I wondered.

How did god know I needed love,

Where was he in my darkest times of need,

Was this man who swore to love me truly divine,

Or would he just be another misery of mine.

You were the perfect boyfriend,

So I strived to be your perfect girl,

You convinced me that I was normal,

You convinced me that I was sane,

And I wondered.

Who are you,

Dear angel of mine,

What did I do to deserve such a thing as you,

Was I really sane yet, or were you just a dream.

If you were a dream,

You were a good dream indeed,

But as all my dreams need be,

They all end unhappily,

And I knew.

Things were too good to be true,

That you could not be my harbour,

You were not an angel,

Nor were you my saviour.

I entrusted you with my most precious jewel,

I gave you my only heart,

You took it willingly,

And crushed it with a poisoned dart.

You tore apart the only part of me,

That had been left healthy and whole,

You took away my haven,

You words were which that stung most of all.

I remember your words clearly,

I'll never forget such pain,

When you walked up and said to me,

I didn't love you, I never will. I'm busy, get away,

You're worthless, not anything, why can't you see.

When I dared to stand and fight,

To make it my living life's last night,

You jeered and spat and told me,

You were just a token, a prize, a tool,

And I never did love you.

If busy was what you did,

In the arms of another girl,

Would calm serenity be my dark void ended,

My sweet release, my death, my heart mended.

I remember you now,

As a tragic memory,

Now that I have a new life,

A full heart,

And safe sanctuary.

Exactly three tears fell during this. Memories can fade, tears can dry, and smiles can go away.

My smile finally came back.

Julie.