Morana wore a heavy sweater, baggy jeans, and oversized gloves. She slipped on her hood, adjusting it so it covered most of her face. Her head glanced at the mirror to ensure that as little skin was shown as possible. She caught her own eye, which widened in fear and broke away. Morana stepped in front of the door, heaved a sigh, and turned the knob.
The blazing sunshine blasted her face. White skin, almost pale, illuminated beneath her armor-like clothes. She shielded her face, especially her eyes, from the bright light. Closing the door behind her, Morana set off to go to school. Another forsaken day. Another day of torment.
As she walked, her thoughts spiraled in her head. Feelings numbed her senses. Why cannot I go on… Morana lifted her head to see a street. Her body shuddered as she recalled that night. Headache…heartache…headlights…blinking and fettering white spots…and an ominous flash. I survived a car crash.
Her feet dragged across the street slowly. The presence of the area prickled her skin. She continued her pace, pondering only about her continued existence. Voices and laughter broke her trance. Her head lifted to behold the sight in her eyes: a young man and young woman walking in a bit of distance ahead. The guy's head was turned towards his companion, his lips moving in a chat, with the girl gently holding onto his arm and laughing in a tinkling voice.
Morana's heart stung at her observation of the couple. Her arms closed around her; she looked as if she had a bad stomachache. Bitter feelings of regret and sorrow boiled inside her, and tears leaked out. She squeezed her eyes closed, forcing out all the water. Scenes flashed behind her eyelids: green eyes, a boy with his arm wrapped around her, her hands gripping his own, his cold jerk away from her, her heart-pounding chase after him, and the headlights.
I stayed alive…by my heart... She lifted her head and opened her eyes to see the brilliantly blue sky. I thought I knew how love felt. I cannot rest…until…
Morana stopped in front of an open gate. A large clock situated on the building looming before her struck 8 A.M. Teenagers hastily ran around her as the bell-like sound gonged the number of hours. The booming noise pounded in her ears.
She took her spot, the typical seat in the corner next to the window, and threw herself down on it. Her head was propped on her chin, giving her a look of boredom. Morana started to slowly close her eyelids in the quiet…
…When a gaggle of girls suddenly started squealing and laughing. Twitching her right eyebrow, Morana turned to learn what the source of the disturbance was. Jonathan, the "guy who could charm any girl", had entered the room with his trademark (in Morana's definition, "fake") smile and confident wave. All the girls melted in his aura of charm, something which suited Jon very well.
Morana shook her head in disgust. Even if she sought to know how love felt, she was sure she'd never fall in love with such a Casanova, especially him. The way he plays with his female audience's feelings and gestures…it sickened her to her stomach.
Jonathan bowed slightly to his crowd of girls, all clamoring to steal his attention. His eyes traveled over their heads to the hooded girl with her head tilted down. He smirked, and waded through the sea of fangirls over to her side. All the girls gave an "aww" of disappointment, some with their lips pouting, some growing red with fury at such a nobody taking their star away.
Morana sensed movement next to her; one of her eyes opened to peer directly into Jonathan's.
"Hi," he grinned. One of his legs swung in a rhythm, his right hand casually snapping its fingers in sync.
"What do you want?" Morana coldly stared out the window again.
Jonathan faked a stab to his heart. "Ouch, so blunt. No wonder they call you the Ice Queen."
Eyebrow twitching again, Morana met his gaze and gasped in her mind. His eyes were a startling green. The fleeting memory traveled down her mind and stabbed at her throbbing heart. His auburn hair flowed toward his right side, and his infamous smile revealed a handsome set of teeth. While not entirely muscular, he was still well-built for a boy his age. Morana realized she was staring at him for a bit too long; she hastily scoffed, "I'm not in the mood for your petty insults."
Jonathan looked slightly amused at her faltering, usually composed self. "I'll get straight to the point then." He lowered his head to meet her eyes at the same level. "You're mysterious. No one knows a thing about you, even after all these months. And I like a girl who's mysterious."
The door slid open, and the professor entered. Jonathan smirked at Morana's expression of indignation, and sidled back to his seat.
Morana was shocked. She wasn't aware that Jonathan had been observing her, even finding her interesting. She shrugged, attempting to shake it off and making the excuse that Jonathan was simply trying to live up to his reputation of being a charmer.
"Morana, miss, please take off your hood. I do not have to remind you that hoods are not allowed in class." A raspy, loud voice caught her off guard. She jumped, and the class, whose attention was undivided on her, sniggered. Morana glanced at Jonathan, who was watching her. He gave a wink, turned back around.
She slunk back into her seat, deep in thought. She didn't like to admit it, but she was starting to understand first-hand why Jonathan had such a reputation.
Morana bolted from class when the last bell rang. After putting in some distance between her and Jonathan, she started to ponder again. Could he be the one…?
As expected of one so deep in thought, Morana bumped into a person, not aware of her path. "Sorry," she muttered, staring down at the floor.
"No problem." Her head shot up, and for the second time that day, her eyes met startling green and a smirk. Before she could do anything, he was holding her gloved hands in his. He lowered his head near her left ear. "I'll be blunt…I think you and I should go out on a date."
Her eyes widened in surprise. He retracted his head slowly, apparently savoring her expression. After a few moments passed, she released her hands from his grip and pushed him away a bit. "Why are you doing this?" Her voice was high-pitched, evident from the shock still not wearing out.
"I told you…you're mysterious." His hand lightly held her chin and pointed her head up. His gaze locked into her own. "And…your eyes look so sad."
They stood in that position for a few minutes, a void of understanding somehow passing between them. A sudden, loud squeal broke their trance, and he let go of her. Morana glanced behind her to see a mob of girls watching with disbelief at their actions. She heard Jonathan sigh. "We better get out of here. I'll see you later." He turned slightly before he left, and smirked, "literally."
Morana cursed herself for falling for his trap. Her grey-colored top and skirt still covered most of her skin, but her hoodless head revealed a flowing wave of white hair. My skin…is still as pale and cold as the flesh of a corpse. And my hair… Morana sighed as she tried to imagine his reaction…
A clearing throat sounded behind her. She swiveled around to view a breathless Jonathan, clothed in a dress shirt and slacks. He smirked again, even while trying to catch his breath. "Sorry…I'm late," he gasped in a half-whisper, "had to shake off a couple of stalkers."
A small smile crept over her face. She hadn't smiled in a while; the muscles felt odd, sort of stiff or sore, to her. Morana watched Jonathan's expression as he surveyed her. Although his eyebrows started raising just a small fraction, he seemed to be undisturbed by the white hair and pale, exposed skin of her arms and face.
"Where to now?" Morana questioned. She was eager to lose herself on this date…and more eager to discover more about Jonathan.
He grinned, "I was hoping you'd ask that." He held out his hand gentleman-like for her. She took it with utmost care, and they started off. He led her through the darkened streets, passing through crowds of people, cutting through an ally heavy with artful graffiti, and crossing a park. He led her through a hidden entrance within the park, holding up the thicket for her to pass safely without fear of ruining her clothes or scratching herself from brambles. The path continued to a small circular endpoint, perfect for observing the breathtaking and peaceful beauty of the secret dome within the park. A stream poured water into the pond lying before the land, a pond full of fishes with golden orange scales. Fireflies lighted the scenery up during the night, quietly buzzing above the pond or perched atop the soft, green leaves.
Morana's mouth opened in shock. This place…was the place. She closed her eyes in nostalgia, remembering the scenes…a pond in the open…her eyes meeting those green ones…him running away…and her accident with the car…the car crashing into her.
Morana's eyes flew open and she stared at Jonathan. He had a sad smile on his face. "Were you…?"
"Yes," his voice was weary and full of sadness. "It was me. And you…you used to be Rina, didn't you?"
Upon hearing her old name, memories flew back into her. The boy who left her was named Jonathan. She turned away from him, tears flowing down her pale cheeks. "Used to. But she's gone forever. She died with that crash."
Jonathan hesitated, then spoke with a quiet voice, "What happened after? How could you possibly have lived against that car?"
Morana faced him again, her expression hard and blazing. "I don't know. All I remember is that I was devastated when you left me. Utterly devastated. You made me feel the illusion of being in love. Something which I held strong belief for my entire life. When you left me, I shattered…but I wanted to know what love really feels like…that was my entire existence. I don't think I can die now without knowing it."
Jonathan nodded. He understood. "…But-"
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!?" Morana's sudden, shrill outburst made him flinch. "I thought you were the one…" she choked, emotion overwhelming her.
"Look," he tried to explain, but didn't know what to say. He grabbed her cold, clammy arm, but she batted him away.
"Leave me alone." Her voice was dead. She ran off through the thicket.
Jonathan stood there alone, before deciding to run after her. I don't know if I'm the one, he thought as he crashed through the vegetation, but if I don't do something, she'll have none, no one else left.
He caught sight of her reaching the street. Jonathan started sprinting to catch up to her, when lights blared beside him. He paused, blinded by the glare, and a loud honk blasted his ears.
He expected a force of a bull to ram into him, but instead, he felt a shove and rolled on the asphalt of the street. He spat out dirt and lifted his head towards his original position. A pale figure lay a few feet in front of the car. The driver, horrorstruck, stood beside his car, staring at the girl he collided against. Jonathan clambered to his feet and dashed to Morana's side. He lifted her body up gently and felt her stir. She shook her head and opened her eyes. Upon seeing the girl not dead, the driver breathed a sigh of relief, and fainted from the excitement.
"Don't ask why I saved you." Morana used the same tone during her first contact with Jonathan.
He smirked sadly. "I don't need to ask why. I know." And he lowered himself to hug her.
Morana felt many unsaid things with his hug. She felt his sorrow, and his rekindled love for her. Hot tears spilled down her eyes again. The two hugged for what felt like an eternity there, in the middle of a deserted street. Jonathan broke the hug and met her black eyes again. He started lowering his head toward hers…before she put up two fingers on his lips.
"…You don't want to kiss-"
"Yes, I do." He pressed his lips to hers. And he almost recoiled back in horror. The taste of a rotting corpse met his lips, and he could've sworn he felt something moving around that wasn't her tongue.
He moved his head back a little earlier than he would've liked, but he didn't know how long he could go on without vomiting. He coughed for a while, wiping his mouth in the end with his sleeve.
Morana watched him with a sad smile. "I told you so."
He coughed one last time. "I still would've done it." He smirked.
Morana let out a small groan, and collapsed on her back again. Jonathan swiftly caught her and gently lowered her down. "…Don't tell me…?"
"Yes," she breathed. "I have felt love. I no longer have any deep regrets bounding me to this life anymore. I believe that…I can move on now."
Jonathan gave a sound that was half-gasp, half-sigh. "…What about me?"
Morana smiled again, and put her hand onto his face. "You'll go on without me. I'm sure of it."
He closed her eyes, feeling her cold touch. His head nodded slowly in agreement, and he let down his hand. "You've waited long enough to go on. Let's not make this any more cliché than it already is." He tried to smirk again.
Morana laughed with full of vitality and happiness that only a living person could produce. She slowly stopped her laughter, and lay there quietly, unmoving.
Jonathan stood up, watching as the corpse rotted to its state that should have occurred three years ago. The transformation involving maggots and her skeleton was too gruesome for his sight to behold; he reluctantly turned away in disgust, and started to leave. He paused to tell to no one in particular, "As for why I left you…I was afraid of commitment. That's why I became a flirt…so I wouldn't commit myself to love, as it'd be lust. And look what happened now…I'm sorry." Jonathan continued his pace. He never flirted or hesitated to commit to love again.