"So you're...a ghost?"

"Er...well, yes. I guess I am."

"You guess?"

"I am. Am a ghost."


"Hmm? That's it?"

"Well, what do you expect?"

"Crying. Screaming. Hysterics. Or snorting."


"Yeah, like "I don't believe you, so I'm going to snort to express my disbelief."

"You're not a ghost. You're just weird."

"What? No, no I am a ghost! I can prove it."

"Yeah? How's tha-WOAH! That felt so weird! You just..stuck your hand through me!"

"Told you."

"Wow wow wow..."


"Wow wow wow!"


"Wow wow—hmm?"

"So you believe me?"

"Can't exactly refute that. I guess you're the real deal. Or a magician."

"Ugh...not this again."


"Er...nothing. So now that we've established that I'm dead, is it cool that I hang around here?"

"Hmm, well, I guess that depends. How long do you intend to stay here?"

"Um. Probably for...eternity."

"Oh. Right."

"But, you know, if I'm putting you out I could..."

"Well it's not that, I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with a ghost—hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"I'm still a person, you know."

"I know, I know. It's just...can you turn invisible?"

"I can... Is that a problem?"

"Just, like, when I get undressed-"

"Oh, so now I"m a pervert ghost!"

"Hey! Come on, I'm not being unreasonable."

"You don't even know me."

"It's not that, you seem—hey! Don't phase out on me! Where did you go!"

"I went invisible."

"Really not helping your case here. Ghost? Ghost? Come on, stop being a baby...Ugh. Fine. I'll just sit here until you decide to grow up."

Five Hours Later.

"Man, I really have to go the bathroom..."


"AH! Woah, hey there. You scared me."

"Ooo, scary ghost snuck up on you, right-Hey! What was that for!?"

"I—I guess my natural response to snark is physical punishment. It didn't occur to me, at the time, that my slap would have no effect on you."

"Well, it still hurt."

"You felt that?"

"Yes. Well, in my heart I did."

"Oh boy."

"Fine, you know what? Whatever. I'll go haunt the pantry or something. Stay out of your way."

"Wait! Jeesh, you are one sensitive dude. Stop sniffing. I can't hear it, but I can see your nose twitching."


"Look, I've been sitting here for hours waiting for you to come back. Where did you go?"

"Why do you care?"

"Come on, just tell me."

"Well, if you really want to know. I was sitting-"


"Would you just let me tell it!"

"Yeah, er, sorry."

"I was floating on the deck."


"Watching...the sunset."


"Yeah. It calms me down."

"That's kind of cute. Hey, don't look like that. I don't know how ancient you are, but nowadays it's okay to call a guy cute."


"Yeah, and you're not too bad looking either."

"...Um, well I-"

"Don't let it go to you head, okay?"


"So when are you from?"

"That's kind of a personal question, don't you think?...okay, fine. I died in 1943."

"It doesn't seem like it. You talk just like I do."

"I've been watching and listening to people for decades. I guess I just adapted."


"Any other questions, inquisitor?"

"Well, I had one more, but if you're going to be a jerk about it..."

"Okay, sorry. It's been a long day. You know, the whole 'scaring the hell out your host' thing."


"Yeah, ghost term. You're my host, the person whose house I'm 'staying' in."

"Oh. Well, I'm honored."

"Sarcasm not appreciated."

"I wasn't being sarcastic! Besides, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about..."

"What? Oh, that. Look, I don't want to cause you any problems, rude though you may be. I've been exorcised before. I could tell you how to do it-"

"No! Are you crazy?"

"It's not a big deal..."

"Don't lie to me, I can see it in your pasty-white-ghost-face that it's a big deal to you. So stop it."

"Okay, fine. So what's your question then?"

"Well, I wanted to ask you..."




"I wanted to ask you if..."

"Spit it out!"

"Can I keep you?"

A/N: Just a little one-shot to get the creative juices flowing again. Hope you enjoyed the snark/fluff factor. :)