"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching."

The day I fell in love with you, I knew that my life was over. It was your gaze, it was paralyzing, like I couldn't breath or look at anything but you. It was you, and it always has been. I should have realized you would kill me, but you were so damn addictive. Now it is too late, and I wouldn't change a thing, not even if I could. I would still die, as long as it was for you.

I ate you up. Anything I could get was better than nothing.

A stare.

A smile.

Sometimes I even got a few words, and that was enough to keep me going for weeks. Until the next 'Hey,' or the next 'Goodbye." I was convinced you couldn't like me.

You were way out of my league.

It was love at first sight. Cliché, I know. But the first time I saw you my heart stopped and my stomach got butterflies. I thought about you all night, and we had never even spoken. I was a mute when it came to you. It was like my throat was saudered shut.

The first time I talked to you, I lied. I wasn't single, I was totally yours.

You had swept me off my feet in less than a month, and you didn't even know.

The day I knew I would have you was on a Monday. I walked in and there you were, alone with your head ducked down.

I sat away from you, to give you some space, but the way your shoulders slouched and the purple tinge under your eyes told me something was wrong.

I wanted to hug you, but I asked you how you were instead.

You gave me a watery smile and said you would be fine, but I knew better. Never had I seen your hazel eyes so filled with pain, and trust me when I say I have looked.

"You don't have to lie to me," was all I said, praying to anything that would listen, you would tell me. Praying you would let me in.

When you opened your mouth and instead of words I heard a choked sob, I couldn't help myself. I ran to your side and took you in my arms.

You fit perfectly, your head on my shoulder, your arms on my lower back.

"I have cancer," was all you said, and I just loved you harder.

We didn't talk for a while after that, and I thought for sure you hated me. I must have overstepped my bounds.

So I sank into misery. It was easier than to admit that you would never love me.

Someone like you doesn't love someone like me. You were everything that I had ever wanted, but the one thing that I could never have.

The day my phone rang I was thinking, not about you, but about the wind and how it would feel to float away on the breeze.

When you said hello, I don't think that my heart has ever beaten so hard. I knew it was you, somehow I always knew it would be you.

"Hi," was all I said instead. You wanted see me and to thank me for what I had done. And like a fool I agreed. It was the beginning of my execution.

I met you at the Malt Shoppe, a Fifties diner in the next town. When I saw you waiting I grew nervous. I tripped into the booth and stuttered a hello. To be honest, I didn't think that you would show.

Someone like you didn't go out with someone like me.

You smiled and took my hand, "Thank you."

I melted. Your hazel eyes were so sad, but it wasn't the sadness that made me want to gasp for air, it was the sheer determination.

The determination to have me.

But it was a game you had already won. I had been yours since glance number one.

Our first kiss was outside in a pile of leaves. Do you remember? We had just eaten caramelized apples. Well, you had just eaten the apple and given me the caramel.

You knew it was my favorite.

Your breath tasted sweet and your hair felt like silk. I don't think I've been able to inhale ever since.

You said 'I love you' on our four month anniversary. Your cheeks were flushed and you scuffled your feet on the sidewalk. "You don't have to say it back," was all you said shyly when my mouth swung open in shock.

People like you didn't love people like me.

"I love you too!" I burst out, running into your arms. This time your breath tasted stale and your hair felt like straw. But I didn't care. I loved you, and you loved me.

When you told me you were going to die, I didn't believe you. People like you didn't die.

Instead I knelt beside you and wiped the vomit off the floor. That night your kiss tasted like salt, but I couldn't tell whose tears they were: Yours or mine.

I always wondered if you could taste them too.

"God hates me!" You yelled four months later. Your test results had come back and the cancer was worse than ever. I denied it, but deep down I thought so too. Only such a hateful God would hurt you so.

The day came where you were too weak to get up and hug me. So instead I got into bed next to you and tried to keep you warm.

You always huddled close and never let your eyes fall. "I need to remember you," was all you whispered and I let you. I let you remember.

The day that your breath tasted of ash I knew it was the end. No longer did your lips feel like flower petals against my cheek. They felt like sandpaper and raked my skin.

Your kisses hurt.

Your skin, it bruised with the faintest touch. I treated you as one would react to a crystal doll. I barely touched you. I thought you were sacred.

The smell of the hospital made me gag. People like you didn't belong here. People like me did.

That night you said you loved me, always had and you always would. You said you would watch out for me, make sure that I found someone special.

"But I have you," I whispered, not understanding you were saying goodbye. The stars were so bright that night. I didn't need headlights to see my way home.

The next morning I awoke to a knocking at my door. It was your sister, and she was crying. I opened my door and she ran in, falling into my arms. "Dead," was all she managed before she collapsed.

Green. It was the color dress I wore to your funeral. You always said it made my skin look tanner, and God knew I needed that.

For each tear I shed that day I promised myself a quicker death. For only death could unite us now.

When I got home I slipped off the green dress and slid the knife deeper into my wrist. Every centimeter filled me with a sick joy.

The joy of being with you again was all that had kept me going this far.

I thought of you before darkness took over.

When I awoke, I awoke to your face.

And what a face it was. Filled with love and peace and happiness. Your hair was back and so was the sparkle in your eye.

I teasingly poked your calf muscle, which bulged like you had just run for miles.

You kissed me and asked if I loved you. Of course I said yes.

I would always love you.

You shook you head and said if I loved you, I would have to live.

But I couldn't live without you.

That wasn't a life. It was hell.

"Then you can't be with me." Your tone was so serious, it was hard to tell you were kidding. You had to be joking, the other option wasn't feasible.

"I love you!" I yelled, light flickering across my vision. Faint mutterings and then I felt a pumping against my chest.

"What's going on?" I choked. It felt like my ribs were being broken.

"They are trying to save you. Let them," you begged. But I couldn't, I wanted to be with you.

"You would do anything for me, wouldn't you?" Your pleads cut me. They broke my already shattered heart. I didn't want to disappoint you.

"Yes," I said. I was resigned to my fate. A life without you.

"Then live." It was all you had to say. I nodded and closed my eyes. I remember your hands on my neck, so the fall wasn't so sharp.

When I opened my eyes I knew I was alone.

I'm here without you baby. The song is the story of my life.

My family was around me, their eyes filled with a sick pity.

Fuck them. I didn't want it.

I got checked into counseling to 'deal' with my feelings. But I couldn't lose my feelings for you.

My heart has turned hard.

It's calcified.

You took all I had to give.

So weeks turn to months and months turn to years. I wish you would have let my join you.

Because I have been dead since the day you left.

A/N: This is my first one shot. I've had it for a while, decided to post. Tell me what you think! Love, Winnie