It wasn't the crinkling papers that woke me up, or the dull ache in my back, but the smell. The smell of…

Startled that I was drooling on my work papers, that were either crumpled up or wet, I sat up. The room was empty and quiet. The kitchen spotless, cleaner than I maid has ever left it. If it hadn't been for the plate of heaping food and a note, I'd have never have said he was here.

What am I kidding myself. Never here? The image of him dancing around like a fucking ballerina will never leave my mind.

Thanks for the help, please don't tell anyone I'm really a woman. Love, Ellen.

His name wasn't Ellen…then again I didn't remember what it was.

I poked the food that was a mixture of noodles and foreign shit. I forked one tiny noodle and stuck in my mouth.

My thoughts were destroyed by my gardener strolling in wearing shorts and a t-shirt although it was September outside. "Are you that amazed that there is food before you?" he asked.

"Try this," I snapped. He took the fork from me, stared at it a bit like he was going to get crabs from sharing a fork, and stabbed it into the plate like he had a vendetta against it. Maybe I should do a background check on the next person I hire? I mean, Rob wasn't all mean or anything but he sure look like he wouldn't mind going all Kill Bill on someone's eyeball if they upset him. I shivered.

"Holy shit." Voice completely monotone. So…holy shit it's good? Holy shit it's bad?

"I know, I even amaze myself at how gorgeous I am," Anna, my maid said, strolling in, shaking her ass until she saw the food. "What is that?" she asked, rushing over to it. Without even asking, she grabs the fork from Rob and shovels as much as she can fit into her mouth. Which…let me tell you is more than you could think a five-foot girl could do.

She moaned. Literally moaned.

I mean it was good and all, but…moaning? Rob was staring at her like he'd like her to make that noise for him. Instead she just jabbed a fork full into his mouth.

"This is so good!" she said as I fought to get my fork back but her death glare made me back down. One think I knew after being married for year was you never mess with a PMSing woman. Unless you're eager to get castrated that is.

I had resorted to eating with my fingers because I knew if I chanced going for a fork the bitch would have grabbed the plate and ran.

"Where did you get this?" she asked, jabbing my hand.

"Ow! From no where," I said, holding my wounded hand.

"Well don't tell you made it or I might as well take a sick day because we'll all be vomiting before noon."

"You're a bitch."

"I totally know!" she said, scrunching her nose up.

But…I couldn't even make a grilled cheese without destroying it so I knew what she was getting at. "It was just a…person I randomly met," I said.

"Hmm…you hire this person, ya here me, or Rob and I are quitting."

"We are?" Rob asked.

"I don't even know his name," I said.

"You're rich, go hire one of those sniffy dogs," she said with a nod. "I'm sick of you bringing us McDonalds everyday. For how much you're paying me, you should supply me a well fed meal too," she joked.

"Okay, I'll go search the world for him," I said sarcastically, staring at the empty plate that Anna was contemplating on licking.

"You do that. I'm going to go watch TV until you bring him back," she said. "Come on, Rob, let his leaves clutter," she said with a swish of her short skirt. "Oh and Gabriel?"

"What?"

"I still love you honey, but I'm being serious, find him," she said with a wink.

"What am I doing?" I mutter to myself.

Well, literally, I am sitting in my car outside the school staring at kids nearly half my age. Okay, not half but can anyone say pedophile alert?

All I need is my little bottle of lo— Don't say it! Shut up. I'm going to go vomit.

Note to self: go pay someone to hunt pedophiles down. I bet Rob would do it. What am I talking about? Rob's the guy who helps a spider out into freedom and…shoots bunnies for touching his garden.

My eyes go on pedophile mode and I start scanning the students for the right one.

Girl.

Girl.

Boy…

And there he is. Holding the hands of two smiling girls as he says something and they laugh.

I honk the horn, bursting their little bubble. Everyone looks at me, well…probably my car seeing as it is a Lamborghini. He recognizes it right away and says something to the girls who both kiss his cheek. Without another look back, he heads over to my open window.

"Yellow," he says.

"Uh…hello?"

He's wearing eyeliner and I almost roll my window right back up and get my ass out of here. When I was finally able to drag my eyes away from the eyeliner, I notice the big bruise on the side of his face and I wonder home much of a dick I am to notice the eyeliner and not that?

"You still happy after he punched you?" I asked, curiously.

"Quite. John's now given up on my wittle Rose. And now wants to degut me," he said with a dreamy smile. Why in the hell would he have a dreamy look on his face? This kid's a freak.

"What had he done to Rose?"

He looked at the school as if the girl could mysteriously hear him from two hundred feet away. "He tried forcing himself on her and if I hadn't shown up, who knows how far he'd have went."

"Oh…can you come with me."

"You a pedophile?" he asked.

"Uh…no?"

"Then of course!" he said. "Wait…are you going to hack me up and bury me in your garden?"

"No…"

"It was a joke," he said, getting in the car.

"Do you need to call your parents?"

"Na," he said.

"Oh-okay."

I drove home in silence, that doesn't mean he was silent.

"Are you married?" he asked noticing the ring I still wore on my left hand.

My grip on the wheel tightened and I watched the blood draw away.

"Oh…I'm sorry. I'm really, really, sorry."

"How do you know I was even going to say something?" I asked.

"Your facial expression."

I thought I hid my 'expression good enough."

"You do, I can just read people really good," he said, leaning back in his seat.

"Oh."

He sat in silence. "I'm really sorry."

"Okay…thank you."

"So…how'd you find me?"

"Picked the nearest school and sat in front of it."

"Huh…can I know the name of my killer?"

"Huh?"

"What's your name?"

"Gabriel Monroe."

"Oh. I'm Ely."

Thank you for reviewing! I love comments, they make me post more! This was originally longer but I chopped it in half. Oops. lol