Loving you was like,

jumping off a bridge into a rushing current of ice cold, murky black, steal your life away water.

I was falling into it.

Falling forward

Falling behind

Falling down

Falling head over heels

Falling fast

Falling faster

Falling for you

Falling to my death

Falling in love

It was an adrenaline rush, it was painful, it was remarkable, it hurt like hell, it felt so imaginary, it was so real, it was confusing, it was completely straight forward. It was such a beautiful mistake.

It hit me,

Or I hit it. hard.

The water was so cold.

The current pulled me under.

You were right there.

You were so cold.

You pulled me under.

My mistake. The choice I made. I chose to love you. Now I'm hurt, and these wounds run deep. Deeper than this violent river. This horrible river I called Your Love. This wasn't love, this was nothing but abuse. Still, why do I still care for you, why do I still love you?

I made the wrong choice,

Can I go back and choose door number two?

My mistake

My turn to jump

My turn to fall

My turn to crash

My turn to hurt

My turn to try

My turn to fail

My turn to regret

My turn to die

Leaving you was likeā€¦

swimming to the edge of Your Love, missing the familiarity of ice cold water stinging my cuts, just to die painfully alone on shore while everyone else everywhere else says in their minds it'll all be okay.