1The Promise
Chapter One
Prologue:
Remembrance
I always found myself lost in the memories of my childhood. They played like a black and white movie behind my eyelids, but patches were missing and I found it difficult to remember the faces of my loved ones. The only face I recognized was my older brother, Quinn's. I figured it was because I had managed to find his photograph among the charred remains of our once happy home. It was tattered around the edges, but intact enough for me to see him clearly. Ever since that day, I always made sure that photo wasn't far from my side. It gave me a little comfort to at least be able to remember one of them.
But I wanted to remember all of them. I felt like I had insulted my parents because of my forgetfulness. Every time I thought about it, I would get this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was almost as if an anchor was weighing it down. Like a permanent reminder of my guilt. Or perhaps more of a permanent reminder of the emptiness I felt day after day from their absence. I couldn't help but blame myself for not remembering the little things about them. I wanted more than anything to be able to recognize the sound of my mother's laughter, or my father's scent. But I had nothing.
Nothing but a taunting photo constantly reminding me that I was alone.
I always thought that maybe if I could have done something, they would have still been alive. Though there probably wasn't much a ten-year-old child could have done. If I were at home, I probably would have died along with them. Sometimes I wished that had been the case. Anything was better than this aching feeling.
People might have thought, oh it happened nine years ago, it shouldn't feel as fresh. But it did. Years may have gone by, but it felt like it happened mere moments ago. They say things heal over time. If that were true, I wouldn't have this void that just couldn't be filled. I started to wonder if there would be a time when I'd ever feel better. To feel happy would be wonderful, but happy seemed so foreign to me. I'd been sad so long, I couldn't remember the last time I felt genuine happiness.
I stared into my brother's prominent blue eyes, which only intensified my loneliness. Letting out a shaky sigh, I tucked the photo into my book bag, and slung it onto my shoulder as I stood from the bench. I wrapped my arms around myself and walked to my next class just as snowflakes began to fall from the dreary gray sky. The sudden contrast of the freezing winter air, to the heat of the building snapped me out of my dazed melancholy.
I was able to put on that happy face for everyone else to see. If only for a little while, I was able to tuck my family away deep into the recesses of my mind and raise the anchor in my stomach. I could pretend to care about yesterday's assignment or wave back at my acquaintances and make them think I was glad to see them.
But I didn't want to have to do any of that. I didn't want to acknowledge acquaintances or so-called friends. I didn't want to do yesterday's assignment, and I didn't want to tuck my family's memory away. What I wanted was closure, but there was no way I could have that without fully understanding why my family was taken away from me the way they were. If I had closure, there was a chance I could try and move on with my own life, and perhaps feel happy again. Genuine happiness. There was only one thought I had about taking my first step toward closure.
Going to the place it happened . . .
A/N: I'm so excited to be writing this! I was actually going to wait until I had the first 10 chapters written out. But as you can see, that plan kind of… failed. If you read the first horrid version, you'll be happy to know some things have changed! And I am excited to get to future chapters! I'm starting the next chapter now, and I hope to have it out by next week.