"I wanna be kissed by you, just you,
Nobody else but you.
I wanna be kissed by you, alone."

"When I tell you to jump, you jump. Got it Eddy?!" Lisa Metcaf shouted into thin air while gesturing madly with her hands.

Solo who was mildly concerned sat readily in front of her desk. When she was done she pulled off the Bluetooth headset and slammed it onto the table. "Fucking Swiss Chalet." She growled. "What's a girl got to do around here to get a little chicken pot pie?"

This was a rhetorical question, so Solo didn't open his mouth.

Taking a deep therapeutic breath, Lisa plopped down into her chair and brushed the hair from her face. "What can I do you for, SugarPlum?"

Not his favorite pet name from her but anything was better than, Pikachu. "Ah… actually I just wanted to tell you I'm working on a new book."

Her face lit up as it should with her being his editor/agent and all. "Bloody fantastic! I don't know where you get all this stamina from."

"Um… coffee?"

"Well, keep it up. Oh, I have a ton of messages for you." She placed her spectacles on the brim of her nose and looked down at a piece of paper. "Chapters wants to know if you're interested in doing a book sign-"

"No." Solo replied before she could continue. "No."

"Solo sweetheart, it is fantastic publicity."

The one thing Solo hated more in life than being called sweetheart, sugarplum, honey bunny, and sweetums, was not having privacy. "Remaining anonymous is also publicity, it's makes everything so mysterious." Lisa rolled her brown eyes. "And you know I hate being the center of attention."

"Then why become an author?"

He shrugged. Truth was, Solo had always been writing, ever since he was just a skinny kid with large funny glasses. Then when he got older and had to provide for himself, he sent a few short stories off to a few local magazines, and well… money happened. He really never intended to get big, it just happened and he went with it. And now he had people asking for interviews, and wanting to know what goes on in his mind mind.

"You're a strange man, Solo. Luckily, I like that. Slowly she rounded her desk to stand in front of him. "Now why did you really come here?"

He looked up at her confused; he came to tell her he was starting a new book. Hadn't he just said that? He figured she should know since she was managing him and all. "Ah…"

She leaned forward and placed her hands on either side of the chair. "You don't need an alternative motive." She purred.

Shit, he thought. So once, a long while ago, Solo got wicked drunk, stumbled over here and banged Lisa all night long on her plush office rug. He was going through some issues, one having to be the love of his life ditching him at the alter. He didn't remember a whole lot thankfully, and they'd never brought it up. Until now of course.

Lisa was old. Well not old, but at least fifteen years older than Solo. And now he was practically staring at her much older breasts as she all but shoved them in his face.

"Um… Lisa," He began, but didn't finish because Lisa climbed right into Solo's seat and straddled him.

"You know what's adorable about you, Solo?"

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me." He said clenching his hands tightly. Where the hell was he supposed to put them?

"You're like a big cuddly, sexy, teddy bear."

Sexy teddy bear? " I am?"

"Yes, and you get me all hot."

"Oh dear." He mumbled.

She began whispering all the horribly naughty things she wanted to do to him in his ear, causing Solo to blush deeply. Women were terrifying creatures. When she began nuzzling his neck, he felt his eyes roll back into his head. She was scary and a little old, but damn that felt good.

When his phone went off he was pulled back to reality. With Lisa still ontop of him he fished out his phone and flipped it open. It was a text from his mystery woman. Suddenly he felt guilty.

"I just heard a woman call her son a butt-face, repeatedly. Now he's crying. I love Walmart."

He grinned and imagined the scenario in his head, but before he could respond Lisa grabbed the phone and tossed it across the room, then went back to assaulting him. From the corner of his eyes he could see his phone, lying face up on the floor. He felt so guilty. Suddenly, Lisa grabbed his face between her palms and squished her mouth against his.

All sanity went out the window.


Cold, and a little soggy, Liv wandered into a cozy little bookstore with her good canine friend Zam at her side. She had a little romance going on with bookstores, especially the really small ones with the bad lighting and the old wooden shelves. They made her just want to curl up somewhere and read until the world ended.

Zam, short for Zamboni, was sitting patiently, probably considering the various titles as well. Finally, his large snout nudged against a book on the second shelf. Liv looked down and picked it out. "Hmm… Through the Cracks by Solo Adams." Liv raised her eyebrows. "Solo?" Looking down at Zam she grinned. "Almost as funny as your name." Flipping over the book she scanned the back. "Listen to this, murder, betrayal, scandal, and an investigation that's gone on for over a decade? Sounds interesting, huh?"

Zam sneezed.

"Excuse me?" Someone tapped her shoulder. Liv turned a little to look at him, short, skinny, and fuzz growing on his upper lip. "No dogs allowed."

Rolling her eyes, she went back to her book. "I'm blind, he works for me."

There was a pause. "You're in a bookstore… reading a book."

Liv cast him a glare, and after a few moments the man gave up and backed away. Point for Liv.

Just then her phone buzzed away in her pocket, and a light happy feeling fluttered in her chest. As always she fumbled awkwardly for the phone. Zam, who sensed the changing of her mood, began to feel restless and gave a short yap. Liv scowled down at him and finally pressed her cell to her ear.

"Hello?" She asked breathlessly.

"Liv! Where are you?"

Sarah, Liv sighed. "I'm ah… why?"

"Dress shopping, remember?"

No, Liv did not remember. So many wedding details were flying around her head she barely had time to breath. And Liv wasn't even the one getting married. Apparently, Sarah wanted, no needed, to have a winter wedding on new years day. Which was only about a month away now. A month? It was only two months ago that she announced her engagement.

"Now? Right now?"

"Yes," Liv could tell she was rolling her eyes. "Of course right now. Meet me at that fabulous bridal boutique, you know the one, right?" She hung up before Liv could confirm that she actually didn't know what she was talking about. Thankfully, her mother did, whom she called right after to get directions. Sarah would be so disappointed if Liv weren't living up to her title as Maid of Honor, which actually translated to Maid of anything Sarah demands because her wedding is the single most important day of all time.

And what sucked even more was that Sarah was her baby sister.

Wasn't Liv the one who was supposed to order around Sarah, to tell her that her hairstyle was so very faux pas. Things like that. But Sarah was the princess. She'd always needed that little ounce more of attention. It wasn't as if Sarah were one of those snooty girls who only thought of themselves. Sarah was actually a wonderful person, it was just that her brain worked in different ways. Liv saw the world through a camera lens, on the outside of everything, while Sarah was part of it all. Two completely different perspectives; it was amazing that they were even related.

Liv bought the book. It had a catchy cover and a witty first line: Mr. Thumb found it almost too easy to dispose of a body.

"Did he now?" Liv mumbled to herself and raised an eyebrow. She was suddenly interested. She paid for the book, ignored the harsh glare of the store owner, and left. Canada sure was cold in the winter, even Zam was cold and he was a Siberian Husky. He was such a shame to his fellow sled dogs.

It took a bus, the subway, and another bus to get to this boutique, and by the time they did Liv's entire face was caked in snow and ice. They stepped into the shop and were given rude looks from a very skinny woman at the reception counter. "No dogs allowed."

Shaking himself dry, Zam let out a loud howl of protest.

"He's not a dog, he's my son." Liv said very seriously and strolled away to find her sister.

It wasn't hard, her voice could be heard from at least a mile away. She was in one of the dressing rooms, sipping champagne and laughing with a few other familiar people. Astrid and Dina.

When they saw each other, Dina let out a strange sort of sound. "Livy! I haven't seen you in forever!"

Liv was freakishly surprised when she came up and kissed both of her frostbitten cheeks. The last time they'd seen each other Dina was 'accidentally' spilling punch all over Liv's prom dress while she ran off with Mike, Liv's one true love. Or so she thought.

Astrid on the other hand, simply never liked Liv because well… she had no idea. It was probably something stupid.

"It's so wonderful to see you!"

Liv nodded numbly. "Of course, you too." Dina did look slightly wonderful, while Liv dripped and thawed. Actually, they all looked wonderful. Astrid with her short crop of shiny black hair, and her large cat eyes. Dina with her mane of blonde hair tumbling down her back. And Sarah, her wavy red hair brushed against her shoulders, and her amber eyes were like whiskey.

Liv didn't get it. Where were her lovely locks of fiery hair, or her warm eyes? Instead she got dead straight brown tendrils and eyes that were nearly black. Oh and the freckles, those were definitely not something she asked for in the womb. Sometimes she didn't even think they were sisters.

"Finally, we can start." Sarah smiled and shot a weird look at Zam. Liv didn't get it, he was a perfectly normal dog.

Finding the most stunning/wonderful/magical dress was supposed to be anything but easy. But the first dress Sarah tried on she fell in love with. It was her perfect princess dress, strapless, tulle, gossamer, perfection. Liv had never seen Sarah so happy.

This being the perfect opportunity, Liv took out her camera. She carried it everywhere, there was always some image that needed to be captured, and this was definitely one of them. She snapped away, until Sarah noticed and blushed. "Oh Liv, I don't have any makeup on."

Sure she did, she had tons one, she was just being modest. Suddenly all her poses became stiff and a little retarded. "Sarah relax, you look like a constipated cow when you don't." That line was curtsey of Jemmy.

She scowled at Liv but didn't relax. "Think about Jim." She said and looked through the viewfinder.

"Ben." Astrid hissed at her.

"Ben!" Liv quickly recovered. "Think about Ben, and how much you love him."

Her face softened a little, and Liv shot the picture. "What's the most romantic thing he's ever done for you?"

Sarah didn't seem to notice the women who came out of nowhere to prepare for alters to the dress. Her eyes looked far off and dreamy. "He made me dinner." She sighed.

Dina shot Astrid a weird look.

"But he burnt everything." She laughed at the memory and Liv got another shot. "He was trying so hard to impress me. I loved it. And he was so embarrassed."

"What about the first time you had sex?" Dina asked. "That was a pivotal moment for Mike and I."

Mike? Liv nearly gagged. She was still with Mike? Good Lord.

"We haven't had sex yet."

Astrid spit her champagne back into her glass. "WHAT?"

Sarah didn't look embarrassed. "We're waiting until we're married."

There was this long drawn out silence, then Astrid asked, "Why?"

"Because it's romantic." She said in an obvious tone and brushed at her wide and fluffy skirt. "And I want my first time to be special."

Dina began to cough hysterically on her drink. "You… you've never had sex?"

This time Liv was shocked. Just because they were sisters didn't mean they told each other everything. They weren't the type of sisters to giggle over penises. "But you're twenty-four."

"So?" Now Sarah looked a little embarrassed. "It's romantic this way."

Had she hit her head on something? "I bet Ben doesn't think so."

"Ben is wonderful, and he understands."

"Is he a virgin too?" Dina asked.

"Well… no." She mumbled.

"Because he's a healthy adult who probably enjoyed sex just as much as the next male." Liv said and got another shot of Sarah, only this time she looked pinched and huffy. Not very bride like.

"He's waiting, just like I am." She crossed her arms and glared at her sister. "I want this to be perfect."

Since the mood was ruined, Liv placed her camera back into it's carrying case and ran her hand over Zam's head. "I'm going to let you in on a little secret." She said to Sarah. "First times suck. They're not special, and they're not magical. You're going to be nervous, sweating, and probably making strange noises. That last thing it's going to be is romantic."

Sarah looked over at her friends for support but they just shrugged. "She's right."

"Now, the second, and third, and fourth time, those are good."

Glaring, Sarah turned away from them to look at herself in a mirror. "It's going to be perfect. I know it will." Only Sarah didn't sound so sure of herself anymore.


Solo wanted some really expensive alcohol and what better place to get it than… his brother. Well actually his mother was the queen of alcohol, but his brother was slightly more fun to be around. So Solo stood in a gold elevator which was taking him all the way to the penthouse.

When the doors opened his brother was standing at his front door with a beer ready for him. He mumbled something that sounded like thank you and immediately went to his brother's couch. "Why do you look so tired?" Ben asked and sat down next to him.

"I just had sex." Solo sighed. "A copious amount of it."

"Fuck, I'd give my arms to have copious amounts of sex right now." He took a swig of beer. "Hell it doesn't even have to be copious. It doesn't even have to be good. It just has to be something involving my penis and a naked woman."

"Ben, I don't want to know about your penis."

"We're twins, you already know all about it."

"Stop talking."

He chuckled. "Who'd you have sex with?"

"My editor."

Ben shot him a weird look. "Who's a woman?"

"Yes…"

"You're not gay?"

This time Solo weirdly look at his brother. It was like looking into a mirror. "Gay? No. Remember when I was getting married… to a woman."

He thought about it. "Yeah… right."

"I'm glad we're close enough to know each other's sexual preference." Solo muttered dryly.

There was another long drawn our pause. "So how was it?" Ben asked.

"How was what?"

"The sex." Ben sighed.

"Awful. I feel like a dirty whore."

There was a low groan from Ben. "I want to be a dirty whore."

"Shana still not giving you anything?"

"It's Sarah, and no, she's not. We're waiting." He added miserably.

Solo chuckled a little. "How'd you fall into that trap?"

"I don't know! I love her man, but God… you should see the underwear she leaves in the drawer I gave her. It's all transparent! I am going to destroy her on our wedding night." Ben stopped and looked at Solo. "Wait, isn't your editor like forty?"

"No." Solo said quickly. "Maybe… shut up."

Ben rolled his eyes, stood up, and stretched his back. "I'm going to take a shower, don't eat my poutine. I'm letting it marinate for a few days before I eat it."

"You're disgusting." Solo called after him as Ben moved through his airy penthouse loft.

After he was gone, Solo did indeed go into Ben's kitchenette and steal some of his poutine, then he went back to the living room to watch whatever was on his large plasma screen TV. There was nothing but talk shows and soap operas. Instead of boring himself he took out his phone and called his favorite person.

"No! Stop! Hello? Bad dog! Bad!" She shouted on the other end.

"Is this a bad time?" Solo asked while raising an eyebrow.

"My stupid dog is about to rip apart my book! Drop it now!"

"I can call back."

"No, no. It's fine. I think if I just present him with something better than a book he'll drop it. Hey boy, look a shoe, you want the shoe don't you? Yeah, you do. You want the shoe. Go get the shoe, go get it! Gooood boy!" She let out a long sigh of relief and laughed a little. Solo smiled. "Hello?"

"I'm here."

"You're always there, aren't you?" She said lightly.

"I guess I am."

"It's nice. What's up?"

He ran a hand through his hair and settled back against the couch. "Nothing much. I can't decide if I want to watch Rachel Ray or Days of Our Lives."

"Oh, Days of our Lives most definitely. Rachel Ray freaks me out with her Joker smile."

He obediently flipped it to the soap. "You know, I have no idea what's going on."

She laughed. "Who does? Someone is probably someone else's long lost brother who died in a horrible bridge collapsing accident and now he's back to claim his inheritance, but the evil stepmother has a plan to kill off said long lost brother and replace him with a evil minion of some sort, who's really her sister's lover."

Solo chuckled. "Oh right, like I retained any of what you said." He imagined she was smiling and maybe leaning on the counter in her kitchen. Today she was a brunette with long wavy hair and big blue eyes. And today her little facial beauty mark was right beside her left eye. "How was your trip to Walmart today?"

"Funny. A man asked if I were a famous actress. I was sorry to disappoint him."

"And what else did you do?"

"I bought a book, and watched my sister try on wedding dresses. Well, one dress. She just tried one on and fell in love with it. I keep forgetting about this nothing personal rule. You don't want to hear about my sister's wedding dress."

"No, it's fine. I'm probably going to have to watch my brother pick out a tux."

"Do men do that? I didn't know they did."

"We do, and it's not all that fun."

"Well, my sister got a little upset and drank too much champagne, but that was her not overreacting."

"Siblings can be a hassle."

"As can pets. Mine just took a giant chunk out of my new book."

"Maybe he's not a fan of the author. Which book did you buy?" Solo asked and plopped a forkful of gravy and deliciousness in his mouth.

"It's called… Through the Cracks." It was as if someone has punched him in the stomach, causing him to spit his food back onto his plate. Funny how poutine already looks pre-chewed. "By, Solo Adams. Do you know it?"

He'd never been more shocked than he was at that moment. His stomach clenched painfully and his hands balled tightly into fists. "Wha… um… ah…"

His mystery girl laughed. "Was that a sentence?"

"Um… what was that author's name again?" He somehow managed.

"Solo, Solo Adams. Funny name, huh?"

He stomach tightened. "Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm fine." Sure it was a large possibly that she could find and read his books but he never actually thought it would happen. Now he was sweating.

"Like Han Solo." She let out a little giggle. "There's no picture of him at the back. Too bad, I bet he's a really old dude with a funny mustache. Or he's really hot. Maybe he's Polish."

"You know," Solo cut in. "I think I've read it and it really sucked. No plot whatsoever. Don't waste your time." What if she hated it? What if she laughed? Sure there were people out there who absolutely hated his books but not her. If she hated it he wouldn't be able to write another word.

He could hear her thinking about it. "But it sounds so catchy, and it says it was on the New York Times best seller."

Solo rolled his eyes. "Oh please, every book is on that." Suddenly the front door's handle turned, and he could hear keys jingling. "I have to go." He hung up and let out a shaky breath just as a woman stumbled inside. She stared at Solo for a moment then laughed. She must be Shana? No Sarah. He hadn't actually met her yet, but apparently now he was getting the chance.

"Hi." He said.

She giggled and stumbled over to him. "You know Ben, you're right."

Solo mentally rolled his eyes. Common misconception. Lost of people figured Solo for his brother, yet no one mistook Ben for himself. "No I'm not-"

"Shhh." She said and actually climbed over the back of the couch and practically fell all over him. "I don't want to talk. I just want get you naked."

Red flag!

"Oh… no um… You see I'm not-"

"I said no talking!" She was breathing heavily and her eyes were half closed. "Kiss me."

"Wait!" He said and tried to push her away but she clamped her arms around his neck and smacked her face against his. "You're drunk." He mumbled against her mouth.

"No, no, no I had like two drinks, maybe three." She slurred and gave him sloppy kisses. "Come on, take your pants off."

"This isn't a good idea. I'm not me, I mean, I'm not him. Let go of me!"

"Just you, I just want you now. Only you Ben. No one else but Ben."

"But I'm not Ben!" He tried to shove her down against the couch, but she simply wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed. Not good.

She laughed and moaned as he slowly stood up with her attached to him. What was wrong with the women today? Something was seriously wrong with them. "But I only want Ben. Let's not play Tarzan and Jane tonight, Sweetiepie. I just want Ben" Oh my God. He wanted to cry or something. "Mmmm, you're all mine."

He tried everything. He tried prying her off, he tried to shake her off, but she just would budge. "Seriously, I've reached my quota for sexual abuse today." He mumbled while she continued to pant against his ear.

Then thankfully he heard a door shut somewhere and when he turned Ben was standing a few feet away with a very concerned expression on his face. "This so isn't what it looks like." Solo said to him.

Sarah detached her teeth from Solo's earlobe to look over at the real Ben. Her eyes widened a little. "Ben?" She asked. He just stood there, his hair wet from his shower. Then she looked back at Solo. She must have stared at him for a good thirty seconds before she let out a horribly loud scream and let go. When she hit the floor she was unconscious.

Solo straightened and wiped the saliva from his cheek. "You really know how to pick them, Ben."


10.18.09:

Sorry this took so long, but alas, I do have a life.

And um... WTF is with all the reviews. 65 really? For one chapter? That's only slightly terrifying, because I was hoping for 15. But thank you all! So I'm really hoping I don't disappoint.

Anyway, nothing really amazing happened in his chapter but it's only the second one. More awkward/strange things to come. Oh and I figured if you didn't know this story was set in Canada I would throw some poutine in there to seal the deal. So now you know.

Um... I suppose that's it. Ah, thanks for the 500+ reviews for TRH! I really love you all! And if you don't know what I'm talking about then ignore what I just wrote.

Ciao mien for now,
Penny