1A/N: This is based on how was feeling recently. I'd wanted to write it for a while now but i never knew how to but i finally wrote it and i guess its just rambling mainly.
You said you'd always be there for me, but you lied. You weren't there when I needed you the most. You'd left, left me behind because I wasn't enough for you. I was told that I could trust you...I did. I did and I was let down. For a time while you were there I was happy now just seeing your name reminds me of those times. Painful memories spring to mind.
Even though we were never anything more than friends, I know you wanted to be but I wasn't ready. You made me break out of my shell, made me become the person I am today. You listened when I had problems, you gave me advice when I asked for it or not. You showed me that I had a fun side. That I was able to just be myself without having to be worried about what others would think of me.
I started to know other people, all the while thinking of how it used to be different before you. You made me questions how I am, question everything I believed and made me question life. But you never gave me the chance to tell you.
I used to be content with how I was. Never questioned things I was told, never fussed, never had my own voice. I was fine with being in the background and quiet. My ideas were never spoken unless asked to put one forward. After meeting you, I was never content again. I wanted to voice my opinions, never willing to stay quiet while others made decisions for me.
As I got more confident with the new me, we drifted further apart til you decided to leave me behind. I don't blame you, I just miss being able to talk to you, have a laugh with you or just know that you're there. But they'll never be. You don't plan on coming back. You so yourself that it was goodbye forever. All I want to know is why? Did I do something wrong?
But when I did get a chance to ask, I was too scared to ask because I didn't know whether I could take the answer so I remained in the background once again, every time I see your name, I half wish that I never met you so that I never have to feel like this yet I also wish that you were still there for me. You've moved on but I'm not sure whether I'm ready to move on.
Maybe as time goes by, I'll be able to move on but for now I'm stuck with this pain that won't go away for long. All I can do is hope.