Self-Inflicted Relief

So I never understood, how self inflicted pain worked

I never saw the need for it; never saw sense in wanting hurt

Then griefs came upon me yesterday, in every which way and form

I learned what it is to have the world hate you, to be useless and forlorn

I learned how it felt with this pain and the mourning that hasn't gone away

Both of these pains feed off one another, each working to sustain

The overwhelming sadness of my miserable life

It took over my mind, left me crying with strife

I went in search for a brand new knife….

One…two…three….four….

The cuts were invigorating

Five…six…seven…eight…

Nothing can match the pain I've had

Nine…ten…eleven…

The blood pours out, all of it…

It is unbearable, all of it, everything

My brutal self infliction wasn't enough to numb me

No matter how I try to make myself immune to this agony

It always seems to capture…hold…suffocate…make me cease to breathe.

I know what it's like to cut myself…