12Writer's crap: the stage after "writer's cramp" where an author can only produce utter shit. See example below.
Dear Subconscious,
I would really appreciate it if you would stop this business with Mike. There is a scientific reason for it; you should know, it's your fault. We both know this, actually, so do NOT try to tell me it means anything else. May I reiterate?
According to Cosmopolitan magazine, which I count as a qualified source, women prefer stronger, more heavily muscled men when they are ovulating. Since we are on our period, we prefer men with softer and smoother features because you think they look more cooperative and willing to cuddle with us. Mike is rather cooperative and would be a great cuddler, but we will NOT take him up on it because we are a faithful woman. It does not matter to either of us that he is in a band that we could write lyrics for, a Dungeon Master that we play for, a member of a team that we cheer for, or a frequenter of the table at which we eat lunch. His long fingers and languid walk will leave us both as soon as possible. No exceptions will be made, not even for his outstanding eyes or the way his old CYO shirt hugs his shoulder blades like you want me to.
This is a temporary weakness and will remain that way if I have any say in it. As soon as this debacle is over, you will once again realize that there are far better mates that will produce far more attractive and smarter offspring that this man. One of these mates is our significant other, which happens to be the want-during-ovulation type. We both know that in the long run this genetic strain is the one we want. This week will be easier for us both if this stops immediately. You are to cease and desist right now, or I will deny you the Wendy's Frosty with cookie dough I know you are craving. Yes, it is that obvious.
Sincerely,
Your Conscious
That felt kind of nice, actually. I think this thing might see chapters later on.