12Dear Subconscious,
Though sometimes I consider you an obsolete part of my being akin to my appendix, I want to thank you for the semi-salvation you brought me today. Your penchant for repetitive motion actually uncovered something the fourth time around.
Our mother was shopping in Joplin and left our father here to fix food. He informed us they would be ready when we got back from our forensics practice. What we discovered was less than edible, to say the least. But thanks to your persistent opening and closing of the refrigerator door, we discovered some leftovers from Cafe Del Rio. You have single-handedly saved us from starvation. So do not take offense at the lectures I sometimes send you; you are an essential part of my survival.
Sincerely,
Conscious
Don't you hate when you keep looking in the same damn place for food and none appears? Well take that and multiply it by -50. That's the feeling you get when you actually find something. (See? Not finding it was negative, but when you multiply it by a negative, it becomes positive! A math joke! And you thought I couldn't make one.)