So, if love endures all

Does that mean what I am doing now is good,

Since it is for the sake of my love?

Does that mean feeling guilty every time I say sweetheart,

Lying to him,

Making it sound like he's the only one,

Is okay?

Because it doesn't feel okay

Some days I feel like I can do this,
I can go on loving you, and pretending to like him

Some days I feel like I should just wait until something happens so I can have you.

Like nothing is wrong because I love you, like this isn't wrong.

But other days, I know it is.
I know I should break up with him, or leave you.

But I can't do either

I love you

I can't hurt him

But there are also the days,

The days when I don't want you or him

I want no one.
I want to be alone to my thoughts,

To have time to think deeper

Read longer

Feel freer

But when I think about it

I know I would be bored.

I want someone,

And what bothers me,

Is that I want YOU.

You, the one I can't understand

The one that isn't falling all over me

You, the one who sometimes loves me

The one who is so hard to read,

Almost passive

It doesn't really matter how you are though

Because at the end of the day

I still want you.