Inelea's P.O.V.

As I left Ryan's car and walked to my house, a feeling of nervousness came over me and I knew if my brothers were I was screwed. I hoped they weren't home yet. I slowly turned the doorknob and closed my eyes begging for no one to be home. I walked in, opened my eyes and looked around. Nothing. I heard no one and saw nothing out of the usual. I let out a breathe of relief, and walked up the stairs and into my room. I entered my bedroom and threw myself onto the bed. This day was surprisingly the best day I have ever had in a long time, and for once I was glad. Something about Ryan gave me a sense of freedom, like it doesn't matter what will happen because he will always be there. The only thing I'm worried about is him finding out about my secret, and that he would get hurt because of me.

I shook the thoughts out of my head. I don't need to worry because I won't let anyone get that close to me, I mean not many people want to be friends with me. Besides I have only one more year of high school and who knows how long my friendship with Ryan will last. I'm not a dependable friend, i'm just a messed up kind of girl no one knows. I mean that's why I have this fatal attraction towards Blake. He seems like a guy that could help me, who could understand how I feel because no many people can. I feel like i'm keeping Ryan around because I need a distraction or maybe just to keep me company. I guess i'll always be a user. Use people to my extent, and even though it's wrong that's how I was raised but no one knows.

The bedroom door slammed opened and my brother came in and grabbed me by my hair. "Stupid bitch, what did I tell you come straight from school and don't be late. But what do you do? You ignore what I say and come home late. Now you'll have to pay." he yelled in my face. Tears came pouring out of my eyes, I knew had to pay for my actions. He then took out a knife from his pocket and began running the blade against my cheek, but not hard enough to pierce through my skin. That's when I felt it, the cold sharp blade pierce through the skin of my thigh. I don't know when he got to touching my thighs, but unfortunately he made 3 cuts across my pale white skin. I looked down and saw the dark red blood flowing out of my thigh.

I deserve this. I thought to myself. I should have known that if I came home late this would happen. How foolish am I to think everything would be okay once I came home? It wasn't; I never has been, not since my dad left. That's why i'm going through this pain right now. I heard my brother laugh at me as I cried out in pain and fell to the floor. The blood continued to pour out from my leg, and for some reason it felt good. I was so accustomed to pain, that it feel good and mind-numbing. Maybe that's why no one in my family cares for me, because they know that the pain they give me is something I can handle.

I heard my bedroom door shut as my Tyler, my eldest brother left the room. I looked around my room, for something to help stop the bleeding. I spotted a t-shirt on my bed, and reached over to grab it, but pain shot throughout my body as tried to crawl. Sat back down and took my shirt off and began wrapping it around my thigh. I watched as the cloth absorbed the blood. I needed to release this painful heartache and find another distraction.

I wonder what Ryan is doing? Maybe I could sneak into his room from my window. I didn't care about pain right now, I know it's a stupid decision but I need to get out of here.

I stood up slowly wincing a bit, and limped towards my window. I lifted my right leg over the window sill and stretched it across towards Ryan's window. I then lifted my left injured leg slowly over also. I then leaned over to Ryan's window and opened it quietly, and leaned back over to my window and threw myself towards his. I hoped this worked and as I twisted my body in the air I landed on my his window sill perfectly, the only problem was the throbbing pain of my leg. As I quietly slid myself onto the floor, I looked around ryan's room to look for him. That was until I heard a light noise come from his bed. I looked up and there was Ryan sleeping peacefully.

I smiled. I wish I could look like how he was sleeping. So peaceful with no discomfort on his face at all. But the thing is life isn't always that way, and even though Ryan is sleeping, being around him makes me feel somewhat better. It's like darkness fills my heart and soul, and no matter what I do nothing will change. And for some strange reason when i'm with Ryan I feel like everything will and he'll be the person to help me. The thing is I don't want his help. I want Blake's, because I think that he would understand me better. It's not that I don't appreciate Ryan, but it's he this rich, popular, playboy, and I don't need that in my life. I need a caring and misunderstood person, who will get me and my problems. Some one like Blake.

Right now, since I don't really know Blake all that well, Ryan will have to do.

I need a plan though. One that can help me win Blake's heart and show him that I could be the girl he needs. To do that, i'm going to make him see that I am a different kind of girl. The girl that doesn't fall for the stupid games or the player ways, and by doing that i'm going to drive him crazy. I'm thinking maybe I could use Ryan in this plan too. I should tell him to pretend to be my boyfriend or maybe flirt with me in front of Blake. I smiled to myself this plan had to work.

I stood up slowly from the floor, biting my lip from the excruciating pain coming from my leg. I limped toward Ryan's be and sat down on his bed. "Thank you, because you're going to help me with this plan." I said leaning over and placing a kiss on his warm cheek. I slowly got off his bed hoping I wouldn't wake him up, and went over to the window to go back into my room. Once I landed safely on the floor I turned my bedroom lights off and walked out of my room walked down into the basement, where my brothers never went into. I turned on the lights and watched as the room filled with gleaming lights. I limped toward my guitar on the couch and quickly sat down after.

After I got situated on the couch I positioned my guitar on my lap and began playing my recently new song.

Telling the lies left unspoken.
Hiding these eyes that tell their tale.
Never again will I make a promise.
Pull the gun and hold me down.

I'm gone and the world has yet to notice.
Falling behind in this calm perfection.
The words they say are nothing of me.
I've been crying for so long, keep me away till i'm gone.

We'll goodbye, with power and hatred.
Their whispers of my life.
Already done waiting, i'm not coming back for sacrifice.
I'm the disease spreading in all directions.

Filled with the worst past.
Never to be forgotten.
Half my heart is cold and rotten.
Tell me if i'm worth everything.

To myself i'm worth nothing.
Your half-hearted smile is my something.
Enough of everything and everyone.
Our lives together in the end finally begun.

Tears fell as I finished my song. How true are these words I speak? My breathing feels heavy and my eyes are tired, i'm done with today . These feelings that have been pent up for years are about ready to explode. For now i'll shut my eyes and sleep my pain away, but even I know it's going to come back another day. Putting my guitar on the floor and repositioning myself. I close my eyes and let my final tears roll down cheek, simply waiting as sleep quickly possessed over me.