Ode to the fast food customer.

I am not a magician, machine or robot.

I am not a maid, a plumber or a garbage man.

I am not a babysitter, a therapist or your best friend.

Larger orders take longer to prepare. I can't snap my fingers and have everything ready. Your food and drinks do not come out on a conveyer belt. Humans must put it together. I get tired, sore and sometimes slow. I will make mistakes, I apologise, sometimes. Get over it.

When you make a mess someone has to clean it up. This will take someone away from the counter, making service slower. Floors need to be swept and mopped, but that doesn't give you the right to make a mess. Tables need to be cleared, bathrooms cleaned and garbage taken out. This doesn't mean its okay to leave junk all over. Put you garbage in the garbage can; pick up things you drop, and try very hard to hit the toilet.

Don't leave children unattended, I will have the urge to sell them to the circus. I don't care about your bad day, your broken car or why you need a coffee. I don't have time to sit around and listen to your day, I'm at work. I don't come to your office and complain.

I get paid to smile; it doesn't mean I'm flirting.

It's my job to tell you 'no, that's not okay', and 'sorry we're closed'.

We close when we close, and I want to go home, so get out.

I don't care if you want to sit and enjoy your meal, don't buy a meal when we're about to close.

Don't bother asking if it's fresh, I will always say yes. Don't ask if it's good, I will never say no. If you want healthy, eat at home. If your child is picky, that's your fault and you can customize the food yourself.

I am not a magician, machine or robot.

I am not a maid, a plumber or a garbage man.

I am not a babysitter, a therapist or your best friend.

I probably hate my job, and don't get paid enough. So next time you walk into my store remember this ode to the fast food customer.