Thanks to nightstars and aysha for your reviews! :3

The joke in this chapter is a really stupid one my cousin told me. I've got even more than this XD

If you feel like it read the joke seperately and it'll seen even more stupid than before...

kicap - (pronounced kee-chap) soy sauce, eaten with almost anything for some people (i.e. rice, egg, chicken, etc. etc.)

UPSR, PMR and SPM are just examinations taken in Malaysia.

Just ignore the 'lah' and 'meh' and reconstruct the horrible grammar, as usual

Thanks for reading! :D

White Ceiling Walls

Being Bounced like a Blue Ping Pong Ball

A week later, and as usual the only sound in the entire room was that ancient fan that has been around longer than I have. Once more, I'm on my bed, looking up for a revelation. A revelation from God that somehow always reminded me of a blond joke. Which reminds me of jokes in general. Which reminds me of the completely pointless story Terry told yesterday that only set himself laughing.

'There was once a little boy, who was extremely smart. For his pre-school examinations-...'

'Kindergarten got exam meh?' my eldest brother, Damien, asked.

'Shaddap. It's a joke – it's not supposed to make sense. Anyway, he scores the highest in his class so his parents tells him that they would get anything for him since he did so well. So, he says

"I want a blue ping pong ball,"

But instead, his parents buy for him a limited edition Lego set...'

I begin to wonder if what I feel for Terry really is love. There's no logic at all behind it. I know he's nice, God knows I know he's bloody good-looking and –sure – I feel all... fluffy when he's around. Which then disgusts me since fluff always reminds me of the white stuff that grew on my auntie's pigeon eggs with kicap that went bad.

So love was a disgusting feeling.

How very encouraging.

In any case, sure I know him – I've known him from the moment I was born, quite literally. We grew up together, played games together (if you would consider him and Cay playing pranks with Aidan and me as the victims, until Aidan was initiated into their little group. My initiation was non-existent.) and even went through a few things together...

That just didn't add up to how the Hell it was possible for me to fall in love with just one look. One look out of the few billion he's given me the past few years.

'So the years pass on, and he does his Primary Six examinations, the dreaded UPSR. Still, with an undisputed brain, he forges bravely onward and receives straight A's! He's got the best result in the entire region! So his proud parents come up to him once more and tells him that they'll buy whatever it is he wants. So he says

"I want a blue ping pong ball,"

But instead, his parents buy for him a new bicycle...'

"Stop mooning over Terry and move on," Cay said the moment she came in and saw me staring at the ceiling. I frowned, then sat up to look over to her.

"Why, Jie Jie?" I asked, not realising how confused I was until I actually voiced those words out of my mouth. She took one look at me, scoffed, then dumped her things onto her bed and moved over to sit at the edge of mine.

"I know Terry, Raine. I know he can be charming, he can be kind, he can be gentle... at the same time he can be extremely cruel," she looked me straight into the eye. "I've seen how he can break people, whether he meant to or not. I suppose that's my fault and all but-..."


"How what?"

"How is it your fault?" I asked. She only gave me a bitter smile.

"I was the one that taught him how to."

'He enters a prestigious secondary school, was always in the top class. In Form 3, he takes another stage in his life sitting for his PMR examinations-...'

'How much longer?' Damien asks.

'Shaddap lah. As before, the undefeated King of academics rises to the top and gets the best results in the entire region! Wanting to reward him for all his hard work and genius, his parents ask him what he would like as a congratulation present, and he replies

"I want a blue ping pong ball,"

But instead, they buy for him an XBOX 360...'

I flip through the channels lazily. It seems ridiculous that the probability of having a good show is ridiculously low despite the fact that we have around a hundred channels or so. With a high n and a low p I could just use a Poisson to find the approximate for a Binomial-...

"Are you actually watching the Golf Channel?"

I didn't even hear him coming. If I was in love, shouldn't I have this love radar thingy or something that instantly tells me if he's within a 1km radius or something? Maybe it had be mutual. Maybe mine was malfunctioning. Maybe it didn't exist.

I could smell him though, even if I didn't turn around to see him. A very macho manly smell that reminds me of a good-looking man I happen to fall in love with just because he told me to join him on this very couch while he chewed on his pai tee.

"The scenery fascinates me."

"Bullshit. Move over." He invades my personal space , grabbing the remote that I had long since abandoned in my resignation that it would never be able to transfer the message 'entertain me' to the television. As he flips through the channels, I stare up at the ceiling that was so alike the one I had in my room – white with partial stains... but two KDK fans instead of one. They seem silent this times as their sound gets drowned out by the humming that won't cease in my ears – it's not from the television, it seems to be more... psychological. Made me so much more aware of him than I should be.

Was this the ever elusive love radar?

'He continues on for the next two years, until the moment of truth comes during his Form 5 when he has to take his SPM. He does better than he ever has in his whole life, scoring, uh, 30 A1's - therefore breaking records and achieves in being the highest ranked student in the whole of Malaysia. So very proud of their son, his parent's blabber during the ceremony, promising to get him anything – anything – at all that he wants. So he says

"I want a blue ping pong ball,"

But instead, they buy for him an... Audi TT.'

It's ridiculous how much I am aware of him. My feet, just inches away from that barrier of his made from epidermal cells (AKA his skin) that originate from the functioning part of his body that protrudes out from his shoulder socket (AKA arm).

"...Hei, Raine?"

"Yes?" I replied, nearly jumping out of my own epidermal barrier.

"Do you think I would make a bad boyfriend?"

- I've seen how he can break people, whether he meant to or not,-

My heart hurt.

It hurt a lot.

Was this what Cay had meant by breaking?

Or, knowing Cay, had she meant that in a literal sense?

But that would have put it completely out of context so it wouldn't be possible...

"For god damn sake Raine, don't zone out on me." He sighs, running a hand through his extremely thick but messy and cool-looking hair.

"If you remain the way you are, you would be an interesting one."

The words had rushed out of my mouth before I could ever stop them. He gave me a rather surprised look, which rather surprised me as well because I rarely saw him surprised, and I was also surprised at my own surprising answer as, surprisingly, I had not thought about saying something surprising.

But he gives a small smile anyway.

"More interesting than the Golf Channel?"

I laugh. I can't help it, and I don't know why.

'So the boy-...'

'Is this story ever going to end?'

'Eh, shaddap, can a not? So the boy goes on to do his... uh... A levels. Gets sent all the way to, uh, Wales to do it. Almost two years pass by, he's taken his A levels, and is waiting for his result... when he gets into a really bad accident.

'He's rushed to the hospitals but the doctors are all already shaking their heads. They tell his parents he probably won't be able to make it. Crying, his parents go to his bed but have no idea how to break the news to him. Finally, they explain his situation in halting tears. At the same time, the results come out and he's scored the best in the entire world!

'But his life that was just about to begin was already ending... Not knowing what else to do his parents ask him what he wants, and tell him that they will surely get it for him. And... just as he had all those years back, once more, he says

"I want... a blue ping pong ball,"

'His mother wails, and his father asks him why is it that he wants a blue ping pong ball so bad? He's been asking for it ever since he was a child. So he says

"Because... Be...cause..."

'He takes in a deep breath...'

I feel a hand enclosing mine. It's warm, it's comforting and yet at the same time make me extremely nervous and... and...

"Raine," he says. I frown – there's something different about him today. Something... I couldn't quite understand. He looked the same, but he wasn't. He had this sort of expression of extreme constipation but he obviously wasn't (or at least I hope not). He seems to be having a little difficulty in breathing as his breaths are shallow, his face is read, his hand is ridiculously hot...

Funnily enough, for some reason I felt that all my actions were mimicking his.

"Terry, let's go." Cay.

"Coming." He replies, getting off without so much as a glance behind.

My hand feels so cold after the heat of his. But... it was almost as if there was something else that was missing... and a sort of feeling as if I had been left dangling in the middle of nowhere...

It felt really empty.

It felt really quite humiliating.

'Because...? Because?!' Damien demanded.

'And then...'

'And then? And then...?!'

'Well... and then... he dies. The end! Hahahahahaha!'

It felt as if something had just been snapped and would never be able to be tied back together again.