Meaning of What?

It was a cold as ice the night the he talked me out of suicide. I have since wonder why he would even care, and yet he stopped me, he left before I could even ask for his name. Now I can't imagine my life without him.

~ Tuesday, December 14, 08~

I was standing in front of the ledge of a building, I didn't even knew of name of. My life had finally had fallen to piece. My mother died of cancer, my Husband ran away with a shop girl,and I had just went through my seventh miss-cary. The only thing I had worth living for was my job, wealth but being rich, with no one to love, meant my richness were worthless. I heard the door behind me open, and I tried to whip my tears.

" Miss,can you please come in, it's late,and isn't safe to be up here at night. You could fall right off." he beckoned. I sighed and turned to him, I couldn't see his face, but he was wearing a fancy tux.

"What it's to you? Huh? YI really could careless if I fell off. I don't have to live, just to make you feel well! I bet a man like you goes home to your happy little family, with your faithful wife, and your perfect children. I HAVE NOTHING! My husband ran away, my mother died,and I just had seventh miss-carriage." I broke down, yet the man made no move toward me but he sat down where he was.

"For your information, I'm not married, nor I have any kids. But I am sorry for you. And there is a reason you should live. It's the reason I live. I'll tell you a saying 'wisdom, strength, faith, and hope, and eternal life, ties to me,and someone greater; he gives me will to be'. If you canunderstand what it means then you will want to live." He tossed a crumpled piece of paper at my feet, and stood. "Now Tomorrow I'll known if you either jumped, or just went home because some how I helped you." He went back inside,and I I thought I would never see him again. And that made me vary sad.

~ Friday December 20, 2008~

"Miss. Fielding, I Googled the list you gave had here are some websites." I looked down the list to see Christian websites.

"Mr. Daniels, can you find me all the churches in the Feater Valley, please." So the someone greater is God, and that means he is a Christian. So hope is what I need, strength to live, faith that I'll find the reason, wisdom to known how they tie together. And god will give me the will? "No that is not it.."

" Um, I'm sure this is what you wanted Miss. Fielding." Great I scared him. His face looked vary confused, but he looked vary cute in his suit. His black hair was a mess, and his blue eyes were blank. I ran my hand through my a awful flat blond hair, that was three inches from touching the ground.

" No, that is, sorry." I looked at the list and sighed there were five churches are in the area. I wrote what I down my theory, grabbed my bag, coat, said goodbye to Mr. Daniels, and left. So if I go to the Catholic church first, then so on till I find him. One problem I kinda had a phobia with some thing tied to the church.

~ Sunday December 22, 2008~

"Welcome child, come sit with me, you look so tired." A Nun beckoned me, but my feet would not move. And all the terrible stories about Nuns followed through my head.

" Um, I'm looking for a man I met two weeks ago." She looked at me with a frown, that scarred me.

" Oh." She said, and left. I wonder through the aisle, but couldn't find him. I watched the entire service didn't see anybody who recognized me, or him, but what was the chance of me finding him.

~ January Sunday 11, 2009 ~

"Welcome! Wait I don't believe we've met!" An elderly woman greeted me as I walked into the methodist church. Now this is the fourth church I had been to and it was the smallest, but the nicest I'd been to.

"Um, this is the first time I've been here, I'm Lillian Fielding." I answered.
"Oh! Well I hope you enjoy Pastor Jacobs service, I myself love them, and he is a looker too." I giggled at the lady, and wonder to the congregation only to see a man who look faintly familiar, and I went to stand a little closer, cause I could only identify him if I heard his voice. But something inside was screaming it's him.

"... but you known, he kept saying it was job 1: 10, when we all known it's Job 10:10!" My heart skipped a beat, and I ran back to the entrance to sit on the bench by the door. I could not believe it. The man who stopped me from jumping was right in that room!

" Miss. Fielding!" I looked up to find Mr. Daniels!

"Mr. Daniels?" I stood to shake his hand, when the man I was avoiding came running in.

" Jack! Jack! You want believe –!" He stopped, and looked me up and down, then back to 'Jack'. He frowned at me, and seemed to be thinking hard. "Do I known you?" I sat back down, and tried not to look like I was shocked.
"Pastor Jacob, this is my boss Miss. Fielding. Miss Fielding Pastor Jacob. Um, Miss. Fielding are you all right?"

" Daniels, call me Lillian please."

After service, there was a special Lunch, to celebrate the old pastor's 100th birthday, and Pastor Jacob

was telling jokes.

"... Well I said, you gotta known how to shack it, or your gonna break it. So the old guy said : If I shake it, I will break it!" I could not find the humor in it. "Well enjoy the – soup." He came down, and sat in the empty chair beside me. Then he kept staring at me1

"Can I help you, Pastor Jacob?"

"I know I've met you, somewhere." I stared at him, and noticed how up close he was actually cute! So cute, he was well nice to look at. I blushed when I noticed we were just staring at each other. Suddenly the Idea hit me. I stood to leave saying goodbye to Mr. Daniels.

" December 14." I whispered, then left, before he could stop me, for I was blush at what I had yelled at him that night.

~Monday January 12, 2009~

I sat at my desk, tired from all the calls, and I had piles of paper work.

"Miss. Fielding, you have a visitor, shall I show him in?" I nodded, and in came Pastor Jacob. I sighed in frastration, because I did not need this.

" Hello, Pastor Jacob, how can I help you? Here in a Law Firm?" I asked resting my head on my hand, and sighed again.

"No, but I would like to talk to you about, that night." I stared at him,and he fidgeted.

" Yes?"

" Did I help you? That night?"

" Well I'm alive", I said turning toward the window. " And I had to ask you," grabbing my note, " Did I get the meaning right!" He looked at it,and sighed.

" It's just a something I said when I was bored once but I never thought it had a meaning. You known that night, I felt like that would help you. So, you must like picking at what stuff mean." I started to laughing, and my stomach started rumbling , making me laugh harder. He laughed under his breathe, and stood.

"Hungry?"

~ Present~

"So thats how you met Pastor Jacob?" My friend said while giggleing, looking at Jacob in the coner snoring,

"Yeah, oh, it's been one minute!" I said jumping to my feet waking him.

"What is it, what is it?" Jacob asked eagrly, once he was up.

"Positive!" I beamed.